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Relationship Tip #4-Spark Plugs

Updated on September 18, 2008
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Sunshine is a wife, mother of four, a relationship expert, a journalist, a photographer, a public speaker, and author.

How often do you think of the moment you fell in love with your partner?

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Notice the divorce rate? I’ll bet you do. Either you have been divorced, or you have a slew of friends that have. It’s so easy to become infatuated with some one, and the most exhilarating part of a relationship is the beginning.

One way to avoid divorce is to keep your relationship focused on each other. Stop being selfish. It’s not all about you, it’s about both of you. Chances are that if you’re feeling neglected in your relationship, so is your significant other. Think about what happened the moment you realized you loved your lover. Say it out loud. Say it in front of the mirror. Every time you feel frustrated, close your eyes and picture that moment, and realize that your lover is the same person.

Marriages are like engines, and if you don’t tune them up, change the oil, and give it a good lube, it will blow up. Instead of turning a wrench, you’re making a list of all the things your lover does do for you. Even if it’s as small as making sure the toilet seat is in the down position after usage, or making sure that you always have clean socks. It only takes a tiny spark to ignite the huge explosion needed to make an engine run. The better the spark plugs fire, the better the engine runs.

Step back and take a look at what your partner does every day. How hard do they work, either at their job, with the kids, or in the home? When was the last time you told them how much you appreciate everything they do, and asked if there’s anything you can do to make their day easier?

Maybe they need help on a project, or maybe it’s as simple as snuggling and whispering sweet nothings into their ear. Boost their ego by telling them all the things that you love about them. Offer a massage, or to let them sleep in on their next day off.

By taking the focus of yourself and all the things that you aren’t getting, or that your lover isn’t giving to you, and putting that focus on what they need and want, it won’t be long before your efforts are returned. Try it for a month and see what happens. You’ll thank me later.

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