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Sexy Confident and Happy. Available for the taking!

Updated on January 17, 2009

Why should you listen to me?

Who the hell am i to give you advice about life? right? You don't even know me, I'm just some twenty two year old girl you googled and found online. However, bear with me, and it may be worth it.

I've lived a life of mistakes, whenever there was a choice to be made, i always made the wrong one. I always say the wrong thing, i always do the wrong thing. I've messed up more times than George Bush and that's saying something. But somehow, through this wasteland of a life, i've learnt a number of rules, guidelines by which to live, and i believe i have discovered the key to becoming a happier, more beautiful person. 

Beauty Comes in All Forms

Lake at the University of Reading on a snowy winters day.
Lake at the University of Reading on a snowy winters day.
My first rat Dylan. (RIP)  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
My first rat Dylan. (RIP) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Have Faith in Yourself!

As we have seen, beauty comes in many forms. 

We are all born with what we are born with, the key is making the very most of what you have got. Present yourself as a well wrapped package, attend to yourself, and enjoy it. Pay attention to your hair, and pay out for a professional colour job rather than an out-of-the-bottle home attempt. Save up to buy expensive makeup rather than cheaper imitations, which end up smudging all over your face and wearing off within an hour anyway, Get that pedicure or indian head massage.

And do you know what will happen? You will slowly start to feel more beautiful, and will begin to portray yourself that way. When you have self belief, others begin to have it in you too. By will power alone, you can transform your vision or yourself, and in turn, others visions of you.

I am a perfect example of this, by will power alone i have managed to convince many people that i am much prettier than i actually am. When i act as though i am a 'hot catch' people begin to believe that i am, and the more they believe in me, the more i believe in myself, until the 'act' becomes a reality.  


Pretty, Beautiful and Gorgeous

They all mean the same thing right?

Well no, actually i don't think they do. There are qualitative differences between these particular adjectives.


Pretty is a sweet, cuteness, it's easy on the eye, but can seem rather 'generic'. Some examples of celebrities who i would consider to be 'pretty' are Kirsten Dunst, Julia Roberts and Reese witherspoon.  Whilst being pretty and attractive, there is not the same fierceness and uniqueness that accompanies true beauty.


To be considered a beauty, one must be in possession of at least one dramatic feature. Wether it be Angelina Jolie's lips, Debbie Harry's cheekbones, or Audrey Hepburn's eyes, one feature is enough to set you aside. Beauty is often unique and lacks the generic quality that can accompany pretty. It is mysterious and dark, often making the subject of this quality disproportionatly unhappy.


Now, here is where we all get a slice of the pie. Everyone is capable of pulling off gorgeous. For this, the secret is making the best of what you have. If you are slim, show off your figure, if you have long lushious hair, make it your feature. Maximise on your best asset. I attempt to make the most of my eyes, as they are most often reported to be my best feature. This means i use heavy dark eye makeup, but use little else, keeping the rest of my face natural. People are then drawn to my eyes, whilst attention to drawn away from my nose, which i feel is my worst feature.  

Pretty and Beyond

Angelina Jolie surpasses pretty and enters the realms of the beautiful
Angelina Jolie surpasses pretty and enters the realms of the beautiful
Audrey Hepburn is a classic beauty
Audrey Hepburn is a classic beauty
One of those gorgeous-ugly women. However, she married the hottest guy in rock Kurt Cobain
One of those gorgeous-ugly women. However, she married the hottest guy in rock Kurt Cobain
Pretty as a picture. Reese is the definion of 'girl next door' with her homely good lucks, and cute charm.
Pretty as a picture. Reese is the definion of 'girl next door' with her homely good lucks, and cute charm.

The key is Confidence! (and what i've learnt)

The key to having a positive self image is confidence.

I have never had any confidence in myself, self esteem sounds more like an energy drink to me. My cup isn't half empty, it fell off the table and smashed... 

But you know, the girls out there who have confidence in themselves shine out like beacons of light, and draw the attention and admiration of all. I have been witness to many girls, of average physical looks draw in lots of guys and attention through their own self confidence and belief in themselves. You can go from average to gorgeous in one move, all it takes is your belief in yourself.

In all this talk of physicality, a word of warning: 

I always mistakenly believed i needed to be supremly beautiful to keep a man, and that the second anyone came along who was prettier than me, then i would be abandoned. I held this belief as gospel for years.  I have since discovered that many of my ex's have since gone out with girls much less attractive than me. So what is it that they have that i don't? I believe it's confidence. Self esteem and self belief. I could never and have never been able to keep a man by looks alone. Personality plays a huge part, and it shouldn't be forgotten.

Find yourself, your style and make your own rules

There is nothing more attractive than someone who knows who they are, and has their own style to show for it.

There are hundreds of different styles and looks out there, it's about finding out what is right for you. Now, i believe the way we dress is an extension of our personality, it is a way for us to decorate our bodies and show other people who we are, and where we belong. It serves a sociological and psychological purpose. First you need to discover yourself, and who you are, that is the hardest part. When you find the right style you will know.

Stick with what works for you. I had an identity crisis throughout my teenage years, i didn't fit in with the normal 'popular' girls at school, it took a while before i developed a style of my own, which i'm comfortable with. Once this look is established, you will grow together over the years, and it will become comepletly your own.

While we are on the subject of fashion, my advice is to forget the rules. Anything goes. You can wear whatever you like, so long as you feel comfortable. What other people think is their problem, not yours. You have the right to express yourself and wear whatever you like. 


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    • profile image


      8 years ago

      great way to express your thoughts! loved going through.....

      thnx for the inspiring post.

    • compu-smart profile image

      Tony T 

      9 years ago from London UK

      Hi Riotgirl.

      This is a very pretty, beautiful and georgous hub and pretty inspirational! Your my kinda girl!;)

    • profile image

      Rainbow Brite 

      9 years ago

      LOVE IT! This one definitely gets my vote! Perfect in every way. You're my kind of person!

    • TheRealTruth profile image


      9 years ago from Virginia

      I think a better way for men to benefit from this advice (not that caring for your appearance is a bad thing to take away) is to be complimentary to your woman more. I try to tell my wife she is beautiful everyday.....even and especially if she hasn't done herself up.

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 

      9 years ago

      Well I think your beautiful and you know how to write and give great advice. Congratulations on being a nominee sweetheart.

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 

      9 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Congratulations!  This hub is part of this week's hubnuggets!  Join the fun and vote now.  Invite as many people as you like to vote too!  Don't delay! :D Click the link asap!

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 

      9 years ago from St. Louis

      Men too can benefit from your advice. While we don't have to "do it up" all the time, taking a little pride in your appearance can offer the same benefits to men: feel better about yourself, etc., etc. thanks for a great hub.

    • thisisoli profile image


      9 years ago from Austin, Texas (From York, England!)

      how would you classify youself after an hour of listening to ac/dc ;)

    • SatinJenni profile image


      9 years ago from Burlington Ontario Canada

      I tend to believe beauty comes from within. I love feeling pretty and feminine. I suppose it's why I crossdress. Its not a feeling men are allowed to express or ever suppose to experience especially in public. Most men are stuck "feeling pretty" at home and alone.

      Thankfully these days society is not as rigid as it has been in the past. Men can also express their inner beauty, their femininity with out compromising their masculinity. What seems to be opposed on the surface is in reality one in the same reality. Human.

      I wonder if the advent of the metrosexual male and the resultant male cosmetic sales reflects this reality?

      Be who you are... enjoy your beauty. I know I do.


    • earnestshub profile image


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      riotgrrl, you are very beautiful. I don't mean just your avatar.

      You can not be other than beautiful because you are real individual woman who is on the road least travelled.

      Any man worthy of you would want to know a truly beautiful girl like you, to challenge him and make him strive to be a real man for you, by letting you continue to grow as yourself and quietly basking in your sunlight.

      Never underestimate yourself, just take your own advice and see your own beauty as others can. I can only offer my point of view as an older man who likes to see the beauty in good women of any age.

      If the avatar is a likeness of you then the eyes have it.

    • riotgrrrl profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Cheshire, UK

      How i would classify myself would depend largly on when you asked me, my levels of self esteem can vary greatly from day to day!

      Goldentoad, your a guy (men, feel free to disagree...) so i don't think there is the same pressure on you to look a certain way. There is a certain 'image' being sold to women the world over, and it is an unrealistic, computerised, 'ideal' created especially for its unachievableness, to keep us all striving. In some ways i think i should reject all forms of makeup and anything that tries to 'beautify' me, but i admit, hands up, that i sadly care to much about what people think...

      The best way i can combat it is to try to be positive, and accept my lot, and encourage others to find confidence within themselves, and not try to emulate that which doesn't exist.

    • Misha profile image


      9 years ago from DC Area

      Interesting, how do you classify yourself?

    • goldentoad profile image


      9 years ago from Free and running....

      Oh yeah, good hub too, but I'm just an ugly toad, no hope for me on being pretty, gorgeous, or beautiful. Which is good for me, as I find peace and quiet, great.

    • riotgrrrl profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Cheshire, UK

      lol, he was a real sweetheart


    • goldentoad profile image


      9 years ago from Free and running....

      Poor Dylan.

    • riotgrrrl profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Cheshire, UK

      Beauty is fluid and changeable, it can be captured in a glance, a certain move of the head, and float away discerningly as quick. Once we alter our conception of beauty we can open our eyes to a world of wonder and see beauty in everything.


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