Twelve Reasons Why A Nintendo DS Lite Is Better Than A Boyfriend

This one goes out to my fellow gamer girls out there. Boyfriends are okay, and they certainly have some additional hardware features that are quite pleasing, but when it comes down to it, a DS Lite has a few advantages over your average boyfriend.

1. It's really hard to play Zelda on a boyfriend.

2. Your DS wont feel like less of a DS because it's wearing pink

3. When your DS Wirelessly connects, it doesn't download several gigs of porn.

4. Your DS never tells you it needs a boys night out and leaves you alone to play with yourself.

5. You can turns your DS on and off at whim, unlike a boyfriend, who can be turned on at a whim, but then insists that you play the game to completion.

6. Your DS won't finish by itself and power down in the middle of the game.

7. There's never any need for protection when you're playing a DS.

8. Your DS doesn't freak out at the idea that you might be the only person that ever plays it ever for the rest of its whole life, man.

9. Your DS won't ever get irritated with you because it's trying to watch the game.

10. Your DS will sit quietly and not complain at all when you spend two hours trying to decide between the red skirt or the blue, and it won't nearly explode with rage when you eventually buy neither, then come back a day or two later with both the red, the blue, and the green because it was on sale.

11. If you don't feel like playing for a few days, or weeks, your DS won't start getting on edge and looking for someone else to play it.

12. You can take your DS home to meet your parents without fear of it telling your dad fabricated stories about the time it milked a cat. (Don't you just hate it when guys do that?)

In case you couldn't tell, I love my DS with a passion that may just transcend the petty notions of time and space. Unfortunately our union may never be complete, as in my homeland, marriage between a woman and a machine is still looked upon as an abomination. Thus each day I shake my fist to the cruel skies and pray for change. Then I sit down and play THPS Proving Ground, utilizing that ultra bright screen that lets you play on even the sunniest of days.