You Know You Are A Wytch If

(Pagan Humor/Jokes)

1.) When you are sworn into court, you bring your own Book Of Shadows.

2) You've been seen talking to cats... They talk back *and* you understand what they are saying.

3) When asked if you believe in God, you reply: "Which One?"

4) You fully understand what "Widdershins" means.

5) You have an entire "spice cabinet" and you don't even cook. (You know that laurel and bay leaves are the same thing.)

6) You have a frequent buyer card at the local antique bookstore.

7) You think J.K. Rowling should be a cultural icon.

8) You know there are exceptions to the law of physics... You've even caused some of them.

9) The first things guests to your home say is, "My.... That's a nice... altar... you have there."

10) On Halloween, you yell "Happy New Year!" at passers-by.

11) You know that the "Christmas" tree is actually Pagan in origin.

12) You have friends who say they are elves, and you have no problems believing them.

13) You commit blasphemy in the plural!

14) Upon dying, your first thought is, "Dang it. Not AGAIN."

15) When you say "Mother Nature," you don't mean it in a figurative way.

16) Gaia is NOT the lady on Captain Planet (cartoon).

17) You think 'The Mists of Avalon' should be a religious text.

18) In Religion 101, you were disappointed because they didn't cover YOUR gods.

19) You know there is a right way and a wrong way to draw a pentacle, and you CAN explain the difference.

20) You've spent the last full turning of the moon looking for a familiar.

21) You talk to trees - and they talk back.

22) You know dragons and fairies exist. You've actually seen them.

23) Painting yourself blue, spiking your hair, and dancing naked around a bonfire sounds like great fun.

24) You've seen 'The Craft'. You know they were making stuff up in 'The Craft'... You have explained this to other people... You can do it better than they did it in 'The Craft'.

25) You fully understand the symbolism behind a maypole.

26) You've ever ended a phone call with "So Mote It Be."

27) Your children go around telling people that, "The Goddess loves you."

28) You think that 'Scott Cunningham' is a household name...

29) Someone asks you what you are doing wandering around in the woods wearing a robe, and you answer cheerfully: "Going to church!"

30) The emergency calls you get at work are your teenagers wanting to know the whereabouts of the extra candles, incense or other misc. ritual items.

31) You feel that there is no such thing as having too many cats.

32) Friends give you candles and incense as gifts.

33) There are more jars of strange smelling plants in your cupboards than there are cereal boxes.

34) You find yourself making corn dollies in the checkout line at the local grocery store.

35) You start answering the phone with "Merry Meet!"

36) When cleaning house you have to specify: "Where's the broom? No, not *that* broom - Where's the one to clean the floor with?"

37) You're reading this page and you clearly understand what it's talking about.

38) You have even more to add to this list....