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5 Surprising things you don't need

Updated on July 29, 2015


Everything you eat already has salt in it. The stuff is wonderful when sprinkled on all manner of foodstuffs but too much of it will make your heart explode or your veins move to the outside of your skin or something like that. Anyway, don't buy any extra salt if you can help it. if you do find yourself buying extra salt, simply spread it on your driveway when it snows.

Even pure salt is still salty. You can order organic salt, but it's still got a high concentration of salt in it. Don't fall for boutique salt.


You can, like, learn to talk without resorting to trite over-worn phrases that hurt the ears of your audience. Go online and learn some new words. Combine those words into unique sentences that will amuse and amaze the kid in the drive-through window. We all talk the same and it's boring.

There's a cliche in here somewhere.
There's a cliche in here somewhere. | Source

Chevrolet Chevette

Almost all the Chevrolet Chevettes manufactured by General Motors have decomposed into their component molecules. Salt has something to do with that process, but mostly it was just typical of GM products.

The world is now a better place. Don't go looking for trouble by purchasing any of the three or four remaining Chevettes on eBay. You will only bring heartache and rust upon yourself. If your life feels like its' broken down on the side of the proverbial road, a Chevette will confirm that suspicion.

Lottery Tickets

The lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math.

Truer words were never spoken, except perhaps the words concerning the salt that you still don't need. Spend your money on the hotdogs slowly overcooking on the rollers at the convenience store: at least you'll have souvenir heartburn to commemorate your expenditure. A lottery ticket probably isn't even recyclable.

You are going to lose. Odds against winning a lotter drawing are so astronomical as to be beyond the number of zeroes on your keyboard, and that's a lot.

Duke University Gear

The second-most pretentious self-important university in North Carolina doesn't need your support. They are already rich. They have an endowment that would buy enough salt for every family in North America, but would they ever consider doing that? No. Don't even bother to ask.

Spend your money on solid well-respected state universities such as Indiana. Even a Purdue tog would be preferable over anything with a Duke logo on it.

When you buy a Duke hoodie or a Duke golf shirt an angel cries.

This is a high-quality photo that is properly attributed. And it's got salt in it.
This is a high-quality photo that is properly attributed. And it's got salt in it. | Source

Take this important poll. And don't buy anything with Duke on it.

This list of items that I don't need is:

See results


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    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 4 years ago from Ohio, USA

      44 total views in almost a year. Sigh.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 4 years ago

      You are right on the money, but I may slip and grab a lottery ticket once in a while.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      You are so right, nicomp, I do not need any of these items you mentioned, thank you for reminding me. Except maybe a winning lottery ticket.