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Buy Happy Online

Updated on September 7, 2011

Order up some Online Happy

Everyone wants to be happy, but no one wants to give out their credit card number. Ordering happy online can be daunting. A veritable plethora of sites offer products virtually guaranteed to provide positive emotions at low cost.

We present a cornucopia of erstwhile offerings that just might bring a smile to your face simply thinking about perhaps ordering one or all of them. Sign up for happiness: perhaps it does come through the mail after all.

What makes you smile? What causes a grin to extend from your left ear to your right ear, or perhaps the other way 'round? Only you know for sure, but we can certainly make a few educated guesses based on purchase decisions made by other loyal customers. We studied the happiness quotient of numerous Internet shoppers. We derived a detailed list of stuff that could tickle your funny bone.

It may not make you happy, but it made the 'Stones rich.
It may not make you happy, but it made the 'Stones rich.

Happy by The Rolling Stones

Originally published on pure vinyl, this epic rock and roll classic is guaranteed to inspire happiness in anyone with an iPod and a memory of the 1960's.

Download it into your digital music player, plug in your earbuds, and kick out the jams. Don't worry about warped or scratched records: this version of Happy will never skip. It's cheap and it's happy.

Money may not buy happiness, but it can buy an explanation.
Money may not buy happiness, but it can buy an explanation.

100 Simple Secrets of Happy People

Science makes us happy, except when it whines about global warming or complains about what's in a cheeseburger. Not all scientists subscribe to gloom and doom, however. This easy to read paperback book distills basic commonalities of happy people. Scientists wrote it, so it must be correct.

What do happy people generally have in common? Do they all own iPods? Do they play left-handed golf on Tuesday mornings with their high-school sweethearts while sipping grande lattes? We could tell you, but you can make us happy by ordering numerous copies of this wonderful expose.

Happy Perfume

Once in a while we all need to smell happy. Every public gathering would benefit from a spritz of pleasant fragrance. Every office meeting and IMF protest would be much more enjoyable when sprinkled with Happy Perfume For Women by Clinique.

Order up a few gallons for unhappy friends. Fill a wading pool with it. Have a parfume party. Online happiness can be pricey, but it sure smells good.

Happy Camper Bumper Sticker

Camping induces bouts of happiness unlike any other outdoor activity involving mosquitoes and goose down. This adorable bumper sticker attaches securely to the Winnebago of your favorite happy camper. Sneak up behind their trailer and slap it on the bumper: they'll thank you later.

Order a few spares just in case you meet an unhappy camper in the Outdoor Department at Wal Mart. Sometimes we all need a little help from our friends.

Note: this product, despite the name, does not have to be glued to a bumper. It can be slapped on siding, tacked on tires, affixed to awnings, and glued to gazebos. A typical camper offers numerous opportunities for mating a sticker to a surface.

Kindle some happiness. That disembodied hand has never been happier.
Kindle some happiness. That disembodied hand has never been happier.

A Kindle, any Kindle

Kindles simply ooze happiness. Soothing waves of psychic emotional goodness seep from the seams in the case. Use a kindle to read a book, but be prepared for extreme happiness as a side-effect.

If you don't already own a Kindle, you're not actually happy. You might feel pleasant, you might think you're in a state of bliss, your friends might suggest that you look pleased with yourself, but it's all an illusion unless a new kindle nestles in your recyclable backpack.

Cut your happy into smaller bits of happy.
Cut your happy into smaller bits of happy.

Happy 180

Working with ceramic tiles inspires many emotions: the excitement of picking new flooring, the shock and awe accompanying hidden charges from the contractor, and the unadulterated bliss inspired by working with a precision tile cutting device.

This particular precision tile cutting device includes a 7" diamond blade as well as an instruction booklet. .80 Horsepower are packed into every single unit that leaves the factory. Don't cut your ceramic tiles any other way.

Conclusion

Order online happiness. It's just a few clicks away.

Comments

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    • Cyndi10 profile image

      Cynthia B Turner 

      6 years ago from Georgia

      How very clever! Thanks for the fun and for appealing to my instincts to buy Happiness.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Touche! You are the man!

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @drbj: "veritable plethora" is two words... "cornucopia" is one word. 'nuff said.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, nicomp, for alerting me to all these Happy products. Who knew? BTW, is a veritable plethora larger than a cornucopia? Just wonderin'.

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