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Here Is The Secret On How To Make Money For Kids!

Updated on September 9, 2009

Here is the secret on how to make money for kids

So your kid won't stop bitching about not being able to make some money.  Put a sock in its mouth and tell it to shut up!  They are not the only children that cannot make money because they are too young.  If you cannot handle this tactic of silencing your child, you can give him or her the knowledge that will help them make money.  This is better than having to dish out money to them every week as an allowance.  What the hell is an allowance anyway?  I didn't get one of those "allowance" things when I was younger.  What are you even allowing?  Back on track now, her is how to make money for kids.

  • Set up a lemonade stand.  You see it in the movies all the time.  The ugly kids with their ugly sign that says, "25 cents for lemnoade...."  These kids actually are clever entrepreneurs.  They jump over the fence of their neighbor's house and steal the lemons from the tree.  After the go and sell it.  Smart.  No start up money.  Well, the point is that your kid can be like those kids...those little thieves.
  • Mow your neighbor's lawn.  Give your kid that old rusty lawn mower and tell him to go around to each house on the street.  Knock on those damn doors.  Tell him or her to smile and say, "excuse me sir/ma'am, do you need you grass mowed?"  If they are not too ugly and don't smell too bad they will get the gig.  Your kids are ugly because of you....just to let you know.
  • Look in pay phone coin return slots.  Some people are just too lazy to take their quarters out of pay phones after they have made a faulty call.  Why?  I am not sure.  The extension of a finger is really tiresome I guess.  Nevertheless, this is a good opportunity for your kid to make a killing.  Tell him or her to go to every pay phone in the country with a bucket and collect those coins.  He or she will be rich so quickly.  When I say quickly, I mean they will barely make it to 25.
  • Return buggies at the airport.  There are tons of lazy ass travelers at the airport.  These people are too lazy to put away their push carts--you know the ones that help move luggage from one gate to the next.  Well, these carts actually cost a dollar to rent.  If your kid can find 200 carts to put away in one day, he or she will make better money than you.  You're thinking of going to the airport aren't you?  Hahah.
  • Get people stuff at the casino.  People at slot machines cannot leave their particular machine because it might be the winner at the next pull.  You wouldn't want to get up when you have invested almost $300 into the machine.  People don't even get up to go to the washroom; they wear diapers and s*** right on the spot.  The things people will do for money.  Anyway, these people get thirsty or need you to go pick up their dry cleaning.  Something is always needed to be done, but they are too busy.  This is where you kid can capitalize.   As I am writing this, I have realized that the kid will not get past security at the front door, because he is below 19.  Was a good idea though.

These were ideas on how to make money for kids.   I hope you kid gets stinking rich; so stinking rich that you become jealous.  Remember if your kid can make a ton of money, he or she will be able to baby you.  When was the last time someone did this for you?  My advice:  get your kid on the money train now.  Good luck.

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