How to Make Money without Breaking the Bank!

Making money in this day and age can be incredibly difficult given how saturated the market is. I constantly find myself asking "How can I make money without breaking the bank?"! This question has persisted for many years, even today, even right now... but the other night I had a dream. I don't remember much of it, at some point there was a large bag of marijuana, at another point a shattering crystal, a crying horse, and an oxford comma. I woke up and then it hit me, penetrating so deep into the socket of my third-eye that it came out of my mouth! It was money! Loads of it! Jack-pot!

Here is what you need to know: You cannot and will not learn to make money as long as you are busy trying not to break the bank. Take all of your money out of the bank and there it is! Place it under your mattress and water it daily (do not forget to rub your sacral chakra while performing this maneuver). There it will be in eleven days time. Money!

Don't have any money in the bank? Good, you're halfway there. Follow this simple exercise in front of a mirror with your eyes closed: Visualize yourself as a bank, recognize how you are not broken but actually filled with money. Now imagine an armored car out front. Someone steps out. It's you. This is your job now. A money shaman with a smaller version of the bank for a head. Out front of your bank head there is another armored car the size of a Hot Wheels^TM car. It is your mother, she is crying. Crying tears of beautiful money! You may collect this money although it is very small. There you have it. Wasn't that easy? Now go out and spend your hard earned cash!