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A tongue & cheek look at How to get Credit Card companies to STOP sending Applications

Updated on November 19, 2011

the 'for dummies' ones are for me, not you.

Applications in the mail

If you are anything like me you hate junk mail. I have a particular lack of fondness for all the credit card applications I receive almost every day. I have credit cards, three to be exact. But I make it a point to always zero the balance on all of them before they charge me interest. The last thing I want to do is give money to the greediest, least moral institution I can think of... the banking system.

Marketing that works

Lets face it, It's unlikely the banks will ever stop doing this form of marketing. I can only assume it works like a charm for them, otherwise they wouldn't keep doing it... Banks have a wonderful track record for driving millions of us into debt slavery. And it's not their fault if we can't manage our finances. Is it...

And the best way I can think of to get us all further into debt... get us using more credit cards, of course. A simple, diabolical plan. And it works like a charm.

Can nothing be done?

Of course something can be done, It's simple... pay cash. OK, maybe it's not simple. Most of us don't carry cash any more. We use credit, or debit cards for almost every purchase we make. And because doing so is so easy a lot of people make 'whim purchases'. Buying things they wouldn't have, if they had to think about it... say on the way to the bank to get the money to pay for it.

And that's why the banks do so well... we're human.

What do I do?

OK, being human is not just about being in debt up to my eyeballs in perpetuity. Being human encompasses a lot of things, like... revenge for example. Allow me to elucidate.

If I'm going to be made to pay for my lack of fiscal responsibility, I'm going to make those who are taking advantage of that fault in my genetic makeup pay too...

What can you do?

You know how each of the envelopes you receive from the credit card companies contains a return 'postage paid' envelope along with the promise of a better life, if you'd only just apply? Here's the thing... It's only postage paid if you actually mail it back. They do not pay postage on envelopes they do not receive...

Did I mention that I was a rebellious teenager in my youth. I take the postage paid envelope and stuff all the paper back in, seal it, and drop it in the mailbox...

What an Idiot!

I can hear you yelling "idiot, that paper has your name, address and low IQ on it!" I know, but I haven't done anything wrong, and I have let some pimply mail room dude know all about my dissatisfaction with his employer, in fact the whole industry.

Sound petty? it is, but that's the way I roll.

When I'm really rolling I shove the day's entire take of junk mail in the envelope. When I'm feeling particularly rebellious I slip in a note... I'll let your imagination take it from here.

I once considered putting a brick in each envelope because it would cost more to mail... but it wouldn't fit.

Anyway, you get the point, as small as it is. I just feel we should all find a way to express our dissatisfaction with the credit card companies and their constant barrage of marketing via the mail...

Or is it just me?


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    • kidsview profile image

      kidsview 6 years ago from Earth

      What a great idea :O)

      too funny - what a great hub!

    • eye say profile image

      eye say 6 years ago from Canada

      I'm going to save all my junk mail and put as much as I can in!

      good hub, thanks