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If I Were To Rob A Bank

Updated on December 3, 2013

Relax

Let's begin by informing anyone from Law Enforcement that I have no plans to rob a bank. This also isn't an article that will instruct or encourage anyone to rob a bank. This is purely for entertainment purposes. About the only thing this article will do is increase automobile sales, maybe!

Need A Get Away Vehicle

So, you've come up with the brilliant, or stupid, idea of robbing a bank. You used the internet to review how others have done in through out history. You've left a credit card trail by buying everything needed online. Now you need the perfect get away vehicle. It's your lucky day. Here is my list for your consideration.

2011 Porsche Cayenne Turbo

The new Cayenne is 400 pounds lighter than the old model and is agile enough to dodge bullets and make last-second directional changes, a key element to avoid obstacles. It can accommodate five,in case you are working with others, with enough trunk space in the back to keep your loot and equipment. It is also a competent off-road vehicle , and if you ever saw a police chase on TV, you know that things can go off the road at any time. No matter what state you are in, no police car can hang with the Cayenne. It has a top speed of 172 mph,  and can leave the police in dust.

Ford Focus RS

Right now times are tough and jobs are hard to find, so you must accept any job you can get. Maybe you're the kind of criminal who rob banks preferring to stay near the interstate, making escaped as easily as possible. Get on the highway, floor the pedal and away you go. However,what if these jobs are not coming in? What if you are hired to steal a little art gallery in Paris. There is a reason cars you see in Europe are small, the streets are small.

What this work requires is something compact without sacrificing speed or utility. I recommend you choose the Ford Focus RS. It is small enough to easily dart in the notorious Paris traffic and the tight suspension makes mince meat of its picturesque streets. Seating for 4 and hatch in the back means it can accommodate all employees and your loot.

BRABUS Mercedes Benz Viano

Forget the Ford Econoline, which is used in all the bank robberies. This is a Van-BRABUS. They call it a "multimedia mobile office with athletic performance." If you need a den of evil, but do not want to be tied to one place, this could be the solution. With a capacity meeting room and some flat screens, this truck has everything you need for your "mission".

Police cars are not fast, but are faster than the conventional Ford van. You do not have to worry about this with the Viano. With a top speed of 152 km / h, Brabus suspension, improvements to the chassis, and even optional bulletproof panels,it has everything needed to steal an entire art collection or bags of money.

Conquest Knight XV

In some robberies all goes as planned, but if Hollywood has taught us anything it is that nothing ever goes according to plan. Whether you are a veteran thief in your last big score, or a new hire who is still learning, Conquest Knight XV is for you.

The Battle Beast is powered by a 6.8L V-10 engine that makes 400hp and 500 lb-ft of torque. Bolted to a chassis of Ford Super Duty Knight XV body panels and bulletproof windows, ballistic runflat tires and a tank of 40 gallons of fuel. It's like a limo ready to fight. Experienced professionals will appreciate its large cargo bay and multimedia-equipped cabin. Newbies would be very grateful for the armor, because it means they can make all the mistakes you want and still come out with the loot. The price is  $310,000 for the Knight XV conquest, so you may need to rob a few banks first to buy.

Helicopter

You realize that during the chase, the police may deploy air support. So why not even the score with a helicopter of your own. I suggest a Sikorsky Helicopter. They are the king of copters. Of course the job you are doing will determine the copter you choose. I would suggest a fast copter. You could use a gunship, but are you robbing banks or killing people?

What is Your Favorite Getaway Vehicle?

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So there are five of my choices. I'm not going to reveal my favorite. Every robber has his or her own needs.You make your own choice and go with it. Of course there are other options out there. Do your research.

Good luck with you mission. I look forward to seeing your photo in the Post Office.

Comments

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    • Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

      Wesman Todd Shaw 

      7 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

      Nice. I actually DID write a hub about how to rob banks; and the advice in it is very good.

    • profile image

      Fay Paxton 

      7 years ago

      Nice post. I'll take one of each.

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