ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Personal Finance»
  • Frugal Living

What Would Kim Buy?

Updated on November 5, 2011

Kim would buy all this stuff

We know many people named Kim. A subset of these people would love to own all the items we have identified below. After much research and deliberation, these products offer fashion and utility in proper ratios guaranteed to make the owner popular. Not just any random bling graces our list: a stringent set of qualifications were applied and quantified before consideration was granted.

We want everyone named Kim to enjoy life to the fullest. Take a long look at our selections and load up on gifts for the Kim in your life. Don't allow your favorite Kim to trod the red carpet or appear on camera without appropriate accoutrement. A veritable plethora of high-visibility gear awaits you and your credit card. It's all in your hands.

Kim needs a calendar

Having a busy schedule obligates proper time management. Nothing shouts I'm organized louder than a calendar hanging in the kitchen. Our Kim cries out for a way to semi-permanently record appointments and proudly display them. This ideal calendar comes complete with a handy hole punched in the same place at the top of each page to facilitate easy hanging on any flat wall.

We all know a year consists of 12 months, but this calendar goes to the extreme: 4 extra months are included at no extra charge. Should Kim find herself far too busy to swing by Wal Mart for a replacement calendar, or unable to mentally adjust to a new year, she has an extra 4 months to devise a new timekeeping plan.

Kim wants to play music

Kim's iPod must be protected. To that end, we endorse an American Flag iPod cover replete with an authentic representation of an American Flag. No harm will befall her digital music storage and playback device when ensconced in this hard plastic case.

This case snaps on easily for a snug fit. It covers most of the back of the device and a tiny bit of the front. An iPod is not included, but your Kim probably already received one or ten in an awards show gift bag.

Kim wants to be orange

Self-tanning allows Kim to stay home, safely hidden from horrible pathogens growing on all the tanning beds in Southern California. Smear on a little of this extremely smear-able stuff for a virtually instant skin tint. It won't wash out when paparazzi Klieg lights illuminate the night. It won't wash off when you're contractually obligated to cavort in the surf.

Kim wants to watch TV

Despite being a busy internationally recognized entity who is famous for being famous, Kim enjoys a little down time now and again. Her television of choice is a flat screen, for obvious reasons. This stunning example of TV technology delivers all her favorite shows such as Masterpiece Theater, Nova, and SpongeBob SquarePants.

Kim needs foot clothes

Refusing to go shoeless, Kim prefers to ensconce her feet in stylish contrivances engineered especially for humans. Whether she's striding from the spa to the limo to the juice bar to the salon to the liposuction clinic, or she's climbing Mt. Everest, proper footwear is always a super-duper high priority.

Kim wants to accessorize

Adorning her wrists with the most fashionable rubber bands is an absolute requirement before stepping out for a night on the town. Kim knows everyone is watching: at least she hopes so.

Kim loves sports

Athletics a play a huge part in Kim's life. To that end, accumulating masses of sports memorabilia makes sense. These items can only increase in value, as any savvy shopper already knows.

Kim wants to weld

Kim knows that someday her limo driver may call in sick and her cell phone battery could die and her Range Rover could experience a catastrophic failure of a crucial structural component such as a frame rail, all on the same day when she has a crucial appointment with Ryan Seacrest. Fortunately, Kim possesses mad skillz with an arc welder. Executing emergency repairs is a trivial exercise when a quality arc welding kit stands at the ready

Kim wants to smell

Proper nasal function is of huge import to Kim and her cadre. Liberal applications of over the counter medications typically provide much-needed relief when allergies or mild flu symptoms persist.

Kim wants to wear hair

Wig technology has advanced to the point that most people no longer appear to wearing an agitated badger on their head. Kim's wigs of choice provide a level of style and fashion rivaled only by real authentic hair growing out of her head. When her real hair gets damaged due to overly enthusiastic arc welding episodes, a wig comes to her rescue.

Kim wants a ring

Kim's has no plans to take one step out of her jewelry closet into the real world unless she's sporting a massive engagement ring that's big enough to choke a wildebeest. Her ring is so huge it requires two fingers. Her ring is so significant that Oprah is doing a show about it. It can be seen from outer space. The United Nations is considering favored nation status for her ring.

You can't have her ring, but you can have a cheap plastic facsimile. Keep your hand moving and no one will ever suspect that you're not engaged to someone.

Kim wants to exercise

No, not really. she pays someone to exercise for her.

Who are we kidding?

Kim hardly has time to arc weld the frame rails on her Land Rover, let alone execute a round of circuit training. The demands on her time are so great as to preclude physical exertion beyond lifting her massive engagement ring onto her slender finger.

Kim needs to survive

The vast majority of sentient humans favor survival, especially for themselves. We suspect that Kim is no different. A survival knife would be a crucial part of her bug out bag (which is probably an expensive purse) and would serve her well as she makes her way through the burned out remnants of exclusive shopping districts in major cities, searching for undamaged exfoliating products.

Buy the same stuff Kim buys

You can be like Kim. We all want to be like Kim.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @drbj: What... I'm just a Bruce Jenner fan.

      @Derdiru: Thank you for your kind words!

    • profile image

      Kim 6 years ago

      This isn't funny.

    • profile image

      Derdriu 6 years ago

      Nicomp: What a belly laugh going through this hub! Which is more hilarious: the titles or the text or is it a perfect tie (yes!)?

      Thank you for writing and sharing, voted up, etc.,


    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      Very clever, nicomp. Particularly enjoyed your including the Bruce Jenner 8 x 10 photo. Very appropriate.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: ""

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)