10 Positive Reasons Why I Love Getting Thrown Out of a Club

Special notice to My Followers:

The story you are about to read is strictly-fictitious. I did not go alone (or with anyone) to any club. Nor did I order any "cold one's." I simply put myself in the first-person to make this piece a bit more colorful and hopefully, interesting to the reader(s). Thanks, Kenneth

The man in the dark shirt is a bouncer

His job is to help keep order inside a highly-successful dance club. His job is fairly-easy, but on some nights a guy gets too drunk and starts to fight and after being nice to him doesn't work, the bouncer physically-escorts him to the door. In the case above, the bouncer detected that the other guy was already intoxicated and wouldn't let him enter his club to keep down problems.

the night like it was last night. And it probably was, but it wasn't a bad gig now that I think of it. I was alone at the time due to not having a date, so I thought I would go solo to a local bar, have a few brews and relax. It had been quite a while since I had went stag anywhere.

So I found a secluded booth, greeted by waitress and ordered a cold one and just found myself resting-up from a hectic week at work. The waitress was back in a flash and I commended her on the prompt service as she sat my beer on the table. I was tempted to ask what time she got off work, but I was too tired for any after-hours fun.

of me sitting at my secluded-table resting and my waitress, "Julie," bringing me a cold beer as if she were on a quick timetable kept on for hours into the evening--and the more beer "Julie" brought, the more I drank and that was the way my night went. What part of the night I remember.

It was not on my agenda to get intoxicated, but I was getting that way slowly and surely. I made myself a promise to just sit still, be quiet, and cease drinking the beer that "Julie" had been drinking. That worked for a little while. I was so proud of myself.

inside a police station sitting in a room with a friendly priest who was smiling as he was pouring me a fresh, hot cup of coffee. This stunned me worse than waking up in a police station for I did not know any priests, but I knew that there was a first time for everything.

The priest's name was "Peter," but he quietly-insisted that I call him "Father Peter," so out of respect, I did as he asked and because my head was pounding like the bass drum in the Georgia Bulldogs' Marching Band. I suppose "Pete" was used to seeing people in my condition, but he was not upset. He just kept smiling and pouring that great-tasting coffee.

As I sobered-up, "Peter" and I chatted about several topics--church, drinking, women, mostly why some women are loose, work and more talk of church. That seemed to be "Peter's" favorite topic.'

"Son, may I ask you why you got yourself thrown out of that club?" "Peter" asked out of giving-in to his own curiosity.

"I enjoyed it, 'Father Peter," I quickly replied as I watched his face grow wide with awe.

"You enjoyed it?" he replied.

"Yes, 'Peter,' I enjoyed it," I said. "Now if you do not mind, just let me explain to you in . . .

10 Positive Reasons Why I Love Getting Thrown Out of a Club

1. Bouncers are not really bad guys at heart. While I am getting thrown-out from a club, I am engaging in a conversation with them and they like that. And I figure that each time I go back into that same club and drink too much, these same bouncers will take it easy on me--maybe give me a ride home.
2. The status-boost I get from being tossed from a club is tremendous. The bar crowd always loves a "rebel," and I kinda favor the late James Dean, so it balances out. And if some of these same people are in this bar when I go back, they always insist on buying me a drink to celebrate my being a non-conformist.
3. I get some great exercise and toning to my body as I am being picked-up by the bouncers and then flying like a bird for a few feet then hitting and rolling on the ground. Hey, after a few times of being thrown from a club, it doesn't hurt all that much.
4. It's a kick for me to see the terror on innocent bystanders' faces as they see me coming right for them in the air.
5. I like being thrown out of a bar for the local news is always there looking for a story for the ten o' clock news. I was on the news twice, then the news crew said that a third time would be too repetitive. But those first two times was more fun than the roller coaster at Six Flags.
6. One time when I was being thrown-out of that bar, instead of hitting innocent bystanders, I manged to hit a major drug dealer about to make a big score, but he saw me flying at him and thought I was a narcotics agent and set off to running.
7. As a child I loved Superman on television and in comic books, so at least for a few minutes I can really say, "up, up and away."
8. The people at Guinness World Records told me that I was nearing the world's record for being thrown out of the same bar for a record-number of times.
9. The owner of the bar loves for me to get thrown out so I can tell the big crowd that gathers outside to watch me burst the sidewalk wide-open that they should come inside and have a drink. It's like free advertising for him and the bar.
10. Around town, I am becoming somewhat of a local celebrity. I was having lunch at the local Dairy Queen last Friday and a customer yelled, "Hey, you are that fool that gets thrown out of the same bar all of the time." I blushed and then humbly thanked him.

Oh, I did think about getting thrown into jail a lot of times, but frankly, that would be way too silly for me to do.