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5 Signs You're Barack Obama

Updated on November 2, 2022

While Barack Obama gets down to the business of saving the world, I thought I'd highlight some of the things which got him elected. You know, the really important stuff that brought voters out on Election Day 2008. The stuff that finally got blacks, whites, browns, reds and yellows to put race (and other silliness) aside, form a united front and put the first President who got game in the White House. Without further ado; 5 Signs You're Barack Obama:

1. You're ready to take on Putin.

As you can see from this saucy, bare chested, hunk o' hunk a' man photo, the U.S. President has thrown down the gauntlet. If Vladimir Putin thinks he's the only shirtless world leader who looks like he just stepped out of an aftershave commercial, he's got another think coming. Yes, Putin has the brawny Old Spice angle covered, but 'Bama owns the sleeker, more sophisticated Lacoste side of things. So no more of that, Is he ready for the Big Bad Bear? Hello? Have you seen this guy do pull ups? From now on, all future world conflicts will be settled via arm wrestling. (Preferably whilst wearing wet t-shirts.)

2. You look like an MIB agent.

Doesn't this picture remind you of Men In Black? If that Will Smith video doesn't pop into your head on seeing this photo, just give it a Google and you'll see what I'm talking about. Moreover, not only does he look like an MIB agent -- he can probably dance like one of them, too. Which brings me to the next point.

Obama Bumps and Grinds!

3. You can shake a tail feather.

Have you seen this video clip of 'Bama's inaugural ball? You gotta love a president who can shake a tail feather. Go on, have a watch. And check out the girl's face when he's done dancing with her -- poor thing's clutching her chest, she's so giddy! Not that I blame her; I wouldn't mind bumping a little booty with him, either. Go on with your bad self, Mr. President!

4.You cant stop kissing the wife

I dunno if it's a coincidence or not, but every time I see footage of Barack and Michelle Obama together, he's kissing her on the cheek. I saw six or seven clips from the presidential inauguration, and most of them got a kiss in there somehow. Sadly, she almost never seems to kiss him back -- and I suspect that's been advised by someone. (Probably someone who still remembers the Al and Tipper thing, bless their hearts.) Come on 'Bama... just once I'd like to see you give her a proper, full-on kiss that we can all swoon over!

5. You actually knew the point.

I won't get into the Bill Clinton answer -- I'll just say that when Obama was asked, it was probably the first time the question's been answered honestly by a presidential candidate. As you can hear him explain in this clip, that was the point. Of course, he goes on to say he's not proud of having done it, but we can be proud that he was honest when asked.


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