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5 Things To Teach Our Daughters By Example

Updated on January 16, 2016
Photo Credit Rich Prugh Photography  Used with permission from film director "with attribution to the photographer."
Photo Credit Rich Prugh Photography Used with permission from film director "with attribution to the photographer." | Source

The Five Issues

There are basically five issues which seem to linger even after 160 years of American history. In 1854 a petition was filed which may have been the first official formal approach to the American government. The issue count multiplies when we explore the world.

As the years went by there have been countless actions, petitions, events, awareness campaigns, laws, and addendum in the name of equality for women.

The Focus Of This Research

Today I would like to provide five ideas about how we (mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, family, friends, and community) can teach, by example, the root of the five primary issues which seem to hold on in spite of the progress made.

The five issues:

  1. Self Concept,
  2. Role Opportunities,
  3. Barriers to Entry in Work, Service, and Education,
  4. Self Sufficiency -- Independence, and
  5. Spirituality.

1. Self Concept

Show Her The Truth

One of the reasons self confidence is number one on the list of five issues is because each girl has an image of what she is supposed to look like, to talk like, to act like, and every other aspect of her personality. She often carries the burden of what the world says is the norm.

We aren't telling her the truth.

Make Sure She Knows She Is Beautiful

When we redefine beauty then she will as well.

Teach her by example to learn the truth about each of the ''perfect'' examples in the world. Start by watching this short film with her. This will show how people look in everyday life and the process it takes to make models look the way they do in advertising, music videos, and movies.

Show her by example the natural beauty she possesses and value her so she will learn to value herself. Be an example by recognizing and appreciating your own natural beauty.

Choices Poll

Do you believe women have the freedom to choose their roles in life?

See results

2. Role Opportunities

Give Her A Choice

There are many areas of life which often have set standard for the roles each person will take in a given situation. Some of these may seem, as one gentleman said "unchangeable" as he explained it was a woman's role to bear children.

The truth is each women has a right to choose her role. Not every women 'must' have children. Each person (man or women) has a right to choose the role or roles they would like to take in life. And, each has the right to negotiate to change norms, break established mindsets, or explore until a choice is made.

Danielle Herb -- Drop Your Reins -- Autism ADD ADHD Advocate

I Interviewed Danielle in July 2009

Image used with permission from Danielle Herb for this page, previously a squidoo lens -- Interview with Deb Bryan GypsyOwl July 2009 Source: Danielle Herb DROP YOUR REINS
Image used with permission from Danielle Herb for this page, previously a squidoo lens -- Interview with Deb Bryan GypsyOwl July 2009 Source: Danielle Herb DROP YOUR REINS | Source

Teen Entrepreneur Renegade

Celebrating transformation. Danielle is a young girl who has taken her challenges, found solutions, and is teaching other kids how to be victorious even when they are challenged with ADHD or ADD.

Danielle Herb has changed the journey for herself and countless others. We see countless more sharing in the extraordinary courage and purpose this remarkable women is sharing as well. Lets begin at the beginning... Danielle Herb has ADHD. She might have followed the 'rules' and we would have still called her remarkable and courageous for 'handling' her challenges.

Well... Danielle had something else in mind. Rather, in her heart and her spirit. She has a passionate desire to make a difference, she started by making a difference in her own life and now she is guiding others to having the same opportunity. Danielle is a Leader in every sense of the word and she is our July Women Leader! I am honored to introduce to you Danielle Herb.

Danielle is featured in numerous publications The Autism News celebrated Danielle's passion and her ability to translate her experiences into service for other kids with similar challenges.

Seems just about anywhere people are talking about ADHD or ADD and even Autism, we will find Danielle Herb coming up in the conversation.

This young women has revolutionized the approach to ADHD and when you think about it perhaps any problem kids are faced with today.

Danielle Herb is focusing on a part of healing and self realization that only comes from within us. Meaning she isn't 'healing' kids at all, instead she is giving them the tools to heal themselves. In doing this, passing on what helped her in the hopes it will help others, she is empowering others.

It is time to take a closer look at this remarkable women.

We showcase Danielle this month in GypsyOwl's Women Leaders Showcase to thank her for her dedication and passion, and to envite others to support her work.

3. Barriers To Entry In Work, Service, and Education

About The Haircut Movie

This is a movie project which has documented stories about the changes in the military regarding women. The movie project began in 2014. There are many supporters and contributors to the story (interviews were with actual cadets from the era).

This is an example of the process and progress women have made in education and service. The progress varies depending on the industry and the barriers to entry are gradually lifting.

Do We Teach Girls?

Do you believe girls are taught enough about how to navigate the responsibilities of growing up responsible?

See results

4. Self Sufficiency -- Independence

Often the message about women being self sufficient and independent is focused on what men think about it. This is a dangerous approach because a girl finds herself thinking she is being independent while she is applying what she understands in the message.

The message is saying she is taking on a role to gain his approval.

The example we have the opportunity to model for our daughters is to learn how to be independent ourselves. Educating ourselves and our daughters about independent living is a step in the right direction.

The next step is to be an example of what we learn.

TED Talk Personal Finance -- Alexa says we don't teach enough about this to anyone.

5. Spirituality

The role models women and men have in their lives are consistently influencing and have the capacity to transform or to hinder. People throughout history have believed in a variety of religions and have made choices to live by them or not.

One of the issues as it applies to our daughters is how we show her by example what we believe. It isn't helpful to tell her what we believe and then not live by it. If we aren't sure of our beliefs then we might like to find out why and make a decision.

There is rarely animosity when the examples in our lives are sincere. When we learn what our beliefs are and teach by being a living example we give her hope as well as the opportunity to learn what her own beliefs are.


Submit a Comment

  • GypsyOwl profile imageAUTHOR

    Deb Bryan 

    4 years ago from Chico California

    Lisa. Thank you! I agree. Most of the media we see is ''perfected'' with photo shop or other extraordinary processes or procedures. We are not spending enough time on appreciated who we are because we are trying to live up to a standard we see around us. Thanks again, Deb

  • LisaDH profile image


    4 years ago

    I especially like the advice about letting her know she's beautiful. In this day and age where practically ever magazine photo is Photoshopped to make the woman look "perfect" and we continually send that message that you can't be beautiful without tons of expensive makeup, I think that lesson is more important than ever.

  • GypsyOwl profile imageAUTHOR

    Deb Bryan 

    4 years ago from Chico California

    Katina. Thank you! In my life, I have come to believe, a father's validation would have changed the way I felt about myself. I believe your opinion is spot on with my own!!!

    I would like to add, there are times when a father is not available or able to teach our daughters these lessons, Mothers have a great opportunity to introduce her to a Higher Father. Perhaps, as in my case, we can learn about this alongside our daughters.

    In an ideal scenario, a father would introduce her to a loving Higher Father, without an agenda other than to nurture her innermost supports.

    Thanks so much for being you!!! Deb

  • momsdoworkathome profile image

    Katina Davenport 

    4 years ago from Michigan

    These are great lessons for girls to learn. Mothers have a great role, but so do the fathers. When a father teaches his girls these lessons she will never look to a man to validate her. That is just my opinion. Great hub! Voted up!

  • GypsyOwl profile imageAUTHOR

    Deb Bryan 

    4 years ago from Chico California

    Hi Deb. Thank you. I'm delighted to hear it. "They are beautiful inside and out" is a great way to remind them. Great to see you here! Deb

  • GypsyOwl profile imageAUTHOR

    Deb Bryan 

    4 years ago from Chico California

    Jim. Thank you. I agree about the first video. It amazes me how often we think the media version of people is 'real' when it is often exactly what the video shows. Thanks again, Deb

  • GypsyOwl profile imageAUTHOR

    Deb Bryan 

    4 years ago from Chico California

    Favored. I agree. It is important to develop each of our daughter's self-worth. Thanks so much for dropping by! Deb

  • profile image


    4 years ago

    Wonderful advice! I like to tell my daughters that they are beautiful inside and out.

  • Pawpawwrites profile image


    4 years ago from Kansas

    Excellent article. That first video is an eye opener, isn't it.

  • favored profile image

    Fay Favored 

    4 years ago from USA

    We are to live by being examples to our young ladies, but not much is being taught concerning self-worth. Being told you are beautiful and have value is something every girl longs to hear.

  • GypsyOwl profile imageAUTHOR

    Deb Bryan 

    4 years ago from Chico California

    Thank you, MsDora. I agree. Our daughters (the world's daughters) are open when we are sincere. They will let us into their hearts and share their choices with us when we are genuine. Thank you for your visit and sharing, Deb

  • MsDora profile image

    Dora Weithers 

    4 years ago from The Caribbean

    "There is rarely animosity when the examples in our lives are sincere." I believe that. Our daughters can tell by watching us what we're passionate, happy, sorry about; as well as why we do what we do for them. If we are genuine, they let us into their hearts and their choices. Great topic, well presented!


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