ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Take That Larry David! Here's 500 Words About Nothing!

Updated on June 29, 2015
Billrrrr profile image

Bill Russo is featured in the film & TV show, The Bridgewater Triangle & has written several books (both fiction & non) on Amazon Kindle.

The show is about "Nothing"

By Bill Russo


The idea for this article came from the ultimate show about nothing: “Seinfeld.” If Larry David's musings about 'nothing' could putt along for almost ten years and become the greatest comedy in the history of television, then I guess I can do 500 words on the same subject.


(I have just passed the 50 word mark. One tenth of the way home and I still have plenty of 'nothing' to write about.)

Dan Hurley & his 60 Second Novels

The Amazing Instant Novelist

In the 1990s, there was a man who would go to the streets of Chicago and set a 30 pound portable typewriter on top of a card table on the sidewalk. Using a cardboard sign for advertising, he offered “60 second novels”, written on demand. He sat at his table, and a crowd would gather as he wrote mini biographies for people. This unlikely little occupation became a million dollar business!


Dan Hurley parlayed the typewriter gig into the “Amazing Instant Novelist” site on America Online. At its peak, he drew five million visitors a month to the site, which began featuring very popular writing contests.


Hurley became a best selling author and contributor to the nation's top publications. He even writes 'scientific' articles these days. But his whole career started with little 60 second stories about pretty much 'nothing.'


The 'Know Nothings'

When in an awkward social situation sometimes it is better for a person to say 'nothing' instead of a comment that might worsen a particular situation.


In politics there was a whole party called “The Know Nothings”. At its peak, this group claimed over one million members. They were particularly strong in Massachusetts. During the 1850s, the 'nothings' had over 50 of the 230 seats in the U.S. House of Representatives and five senate seats.


The 'know nothings' were really not FOR anything, they were just AGAINST pretty much everything. They railed against Irish people, Catholics, and immigration. One of their most prominent members was ex President Millard Fillmore.


The party derived its names from the actions of the members, who when questioned about their movement; would answer, “I know nothing.”


(Word Count - 357)




One of the funniest 'know nothings' ever, was John Banner. As an actor he appeared on Broadway and in over 40 films, but is mainly known for one role – that of Sergeant Hans Schultz on Hogan's Heroes.

Whenever he was confronted with evidence of scams or escape plans of his prisoners, he would declare, “I know nothing!”


Though John Banner portrayed a soldier in Hitler's army, in real life he was a Jewish man who had been held in a concentration camp. His parents were killed during the war. Ironically several of the actors in the television series were Jewish, including Werner Klemperer, who played the part of the prison camp commander.


Robert Clary, who was cast as the Frenchman LeBeau, was in fact a Jewish man who spent three years in a concentration camp. His parents and other family members were killed there. LeBeau had an identity tattoo from the camp on his arm (A-574).


(Word Count-512)


I have more to say, but as this article is only supposed to be 500 words, I am now required to...................


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Billrrrr profile image
      Author

      Bill Russo 3 years ago from Cape Cod

      Great idea Colin. Thanks for reading and for commenting.

    • profile image

      Colin323 3 years ago

      Nothing is always something, and you made something of nothing in a very readable way. I particularly liked the Dan Hurley section. I might try it here!

    • Elsie Hagley profile image

      Elsie Hagley 3 years ago from New Zealand

      Thanks Bill, One week since Squidoo closed it doors, my lens will be moved over in the next month. Time to move on and get to know all these wonderful writers here at HubPages, and start writing also. Will be following your hubs, (which are great). Happy days.

    • Billrrrr profile image
      Author

      Bill Russo 3 years ago from Cape Cod

      Thanks Elsie and I am so happy that you've joined the group. I will be stopping by your writing place regularly.

    • Elsie Hagley profile image

      Elsie Hagley 3 years ago from New Zealand

      That was nicely done 500 words about nothing. But it wasn't about nothing really as I pick up straight away, info I didn't know and that you are a great writer. Enjoy it thank you.

    • Billrrrr profile image
      Author

      Bill Russo 3 years ago from Cape Cod

      Thanks breakfastpop. I am going to have an omelette with red roasted peppers and Mozzarella cheese and a coffee with my hot new creamer that I invented. It is a cross between Cremora and Coffeemate. I call it "Cremate!"

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 3 years ago

      Sometimes writing about nothing is so relaxing. I feel great and I thank you! Voted up and awesome!

    • Billrrrr profile image
      Author

      Bill Russo 3 years ago from Cape Cod

      I think so too. I will be watching for progress!

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Took your advice Bill and joined Fiverr....looks like a promising concept to me. Thanks again.

    • Billrrrr profile image
      Author

      Bill Russo 3 years ago from Cape Cod

      Thanks bluebird. It was 500 words about nothing!

    • bluebird profile image

      bluebird 3 years ago

      Nothing was kinda interesting...almost, but then again, it was nothing.

    • Billrrrr profile image
      Author

      Bill Russo 3 years ago from Cape Cod

      Fiverr might work out well for you Jodah. I am pretty sure there will be a brisk market for you.

    • Billrrrr profile image
      Author

      Bill Russo 3 years ago from Cape Cod

      Hi Ginn. Thanks very much for reading and commenting.

    • Billrrrr profile image
      Author

      Bill Russo 3 years ago from Cape Cod

      Thanks Will. Your comment has great value to me.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks Bill, I'll check Fiverr out. It sounds interesting.

    • Ginn Navarre profile image

      Ginn Navarre 3 years ago

      Enjoyed this very much. The "Seinfield" show made NOTHING---become something? It shows what Curiosity/Imagination can create.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 3 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Writing about nothing is actually a great challenge, and I don't think I'm up to it.

      But neither are you, Bill, because this Hub was very interesting!

    • Billrrrr profile image
      Author

      Bill Russo 3 years ago from Cape Cod

      Thanks Jodah. I think you could adapt your work to Fiverr.com

      People sell a service for $5.00 and up. You could write personalized holiday poems, greetings and birthday wishes. You could sell your service for $5.00 if the work were transmitted by computer. But if you wanted to, you could up the ante by shipping out the poem on a decorative paper that you could easily create. You would get more than $5.00 on this and would also charge a shipping fee. It might work.

      I am experimenting with the site and so far it looks promising.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      What a great idea Bill. You succeeded in writing about nothing and actually made it interesting. Dan Hurley had a great idea with his 60 second novels and it paid off. Maybe I should try something like that...have an egg timer beside me ...3 minute poetry..lol.

      I wish you had aimed for 1000 words about nothing instead of 500..didn't want it to end, but then as Sergeant Schultz would say"I know nothing". Voted up.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)