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Beneath the rock
The path which led me to drug abuse actually started many years back and it was all my intention to lead the life i chose, i didn’t come from a violet home. In fact, my family was this kind of Religious one but still my first drink, and cigarette came early in my teenage years.
My parents once said that my friends misled me and encouraged me to use drugs but that is not the truth because i personally chose to drink and smoke. Honestly, i was quite intent as a loner and never had the inclination to fit in either. After my ever first taste of alcohol, it became my shepherd and all i wanted was more, it led me to happiness and i drank day and night and by the age of 18.
I began using Marijuana which was just the holy herb as it is called. I cannot remember any day i ever felt sober because my system functioned on drugs and i drank and smoked myself into oblivion every day.
The more i smoked and drank, the merrier i felt i was and soon i found myself in a destructive pattern of drug and alcohol abuse. This created so many negative side effects in my life including a drop in academic performance and a strained relationship with my family.
My family and loved ones felt that i had let them down but to me, i was chasing the winds and wasn’t hurting no one. I did not felt the way they felt so how could i ever imagine myself to be a drug addict,i mean, i was just a normal teenager having fun.
Little did i know that this was the start of a downward spiral, i go to school drunk and soon all my money was spent on drinks and marijuana then i later dropped out from school because of poor grades and that was simply because i stopped attending classes or studied. My family was getting on my nerves because they kept expressing their concern and i certainly didn’t want anyone talking about my drinking habit.
The fact is that a part of me knew that i was going the wrong way but the stronger me was in control of my actions so passing a day without the bottles was hard.
My routine was drink, smoke and get high but soon my family especially my Dad stopped giving me money and this pissed me off so much because no one was ready to give me credit on a six pack of beer every day but like the saying that God helps the children, adults and even addicts, i truly believe that because by what i will call miracle, i got myself a job in a bakery. I had always wanted to be a baker.
I promised myself that i wouldn’t drink or smoke during work hours because my employer knowing fully well about my alcohol addiction gave me the chance simply by the grace of God. I drank after work every day but whenever i get my wages, i realized that i even drink before going to work and soon, i was fully back on the ground, i began drinking even during lunchtime and then not returning to work because of hangover. I had been on pause for a couple of months anyway.
Just like the famous saying: “Show me your friends and i’ll show you who you are”. I needed real friends who did the things i did and are on the same level with me, friends who understands the value of the holy herb and not people who just sit and criticize the use of Marijuana so that was how i hooked up with my first and ever boy friend. He was called Smart because of his mode of dressing, we got high together and one thing i loved in him was his smell. He breath Rum and whenever he sweat, alcohol oozed from his pores and through him, i became everything you can consider unbecoming of a lady.
Inside me, i knew that i needed something stronger than alcohol and Marijuana so the day i saw him with crack was to me a special day, i believe that some people might back off seeing their boy friend with crack but to me, it turned me on and made me loved him more so i piped with him, the experience cannot simply go down in writing because all i did after my first joint will simply remind you of Oliver Twist. I experienced an amazing rush that simply wanted me to do it again and again.
Crack gives you that momentary high that dies within a couple of minute and you need to pipe more just to keep the feeling though i chose to use cracks only at night because of my work but like every other addiction and abuse, it lasted just for weeks before it became an all day and everyday habit. My Boss could not tolerate my attitudes anymore and fired me but life goes on as far as my boy was there with me but compared to alcohol or Marijuana, crack was quite an expensive habit and for two Junkies like us, we needed to be among the presidential entourage to keep our habits.
We had to turn to other means to make money so that was how i began stealing things from the house to sell, i no longer slept because whenever i was not using crack, my time was spent looking for means and ways to get more and eventually my family found out about my latest habit but the more they tried to help me, the further away i kept myself from them and that was why i ran away from home and ended up in the bunk where other crack users became my immediate family.
Within months of running away from home, i was no longer just a Junkie but a homeless addict, the things i did to get crack were never things i thought i would ever do, the places i went to get crack where places that any sane person would not even dream to go,i placed myself in so much danger, thanks to my love who introduced me to crack but then that doesn’t matter once i will get high.
After dwelling beneath the rock and sleeping on the cold floor for years, my family came searching for me, they heard of the robbery and saw the pictures of the robbers whom among them was Brandon the love of my life, they found me in my hiding hole waiting for someone to pull me out, it was one road i had to travel, they were so sorry for failing to guide a quite 18years old girl who simply wanted to have fun and was exploring on anything possible. Now 25 with a complete disintegrated life, i knew that i needed some help.
Consenting with their offer to take me for rehab was the best choice i ever made but i spent just three days in the rehab center then ran away and straight into my comfort zone in the Bunk, and by this time, all effort my family made to help me was useless so i remained in the bunk and stole and beg to be able to buy crack. I had not slept for years so one night while roaming the street for something to steal, i saw a house door open then decided to take my chance but hardly did i know that the owner has a gun.
I quietly crawled into the house then saw a man kneeling down, i knew that he was praying but what i could not understand was the sensation of cold all over me, i hardly could hear him but i heard him when he said In Jesus name, i was unable to move and all i could see was the clear picture of me and i hated myself from that moment then the man opened his eyes and got up. He was surprise to see an intruder but all he asked me was, “What can i do for you young lady”?
I was crying all along then he came to me and held my hands, he asked me to sit down and within minutes, i was listening to this strange man talking about alcohol and drug abuse, all he said kept hitting me and it was like he was talking about my life, about a young girl who was destroyed by drugs, a dream which was tarnished by the abuse of alcohol and there that day, i decided to lead a different life.I decided there and then that i would stop using drugs but i needed something stronger than the stronger me and there is nothing greater than that which was then in me than The Lord Jesus Christ.
I accepted him into my family that night and confessed my sins and what actually i came to do inside the house, the more i spoke, the lesser burden i felt and was the only day, i ever felt sleepy for years. I slept in that house that night and in the morning, he gave me some money and a small Bible and asked me to keep in touch. What i did throughout the day was unlike me as i traveled the way back to my family home.
I didn’t go to any rehab center but found strength in the gun that strange man in the strange house gave me, the bullets from this gun is more powerful that anything you can imagine and all my effort to trace back that house has yielded nothing because i could not even remember the street and area where it was but the interesting thing was that my family saw the seriousness in me to change so they gave the word of God its chance and my Bible-my gun and the word of God its bullet helped set me free from alcohol and drug addiction.
Today i can say that i am happy to be off drugs though it hasn’t been easy but it’s definitely a road that was worth traveling. Our Society at large is full of expectations and sometimes especially the youths feels that doing certain things is worthy and adults most times feels that staying clean is a struggle but i can tell you from experience that all we do is a matter of our own choice and instincts. You can be good if you really want to and stay off drug and alcohol if you desire.
I am not sure exactly what happened that night but all i can say is that it was a divine intervention and i thank God every day of my life for pulling me out of that big hole which i fell into, now i take it one day at a time and face all obstacles and challenges that come my way with the conviction that neither a drink nor a smoke will make it better and i am here writing this to let you know that no matter how bad things may seem at times, once you make the personal decision to move forward and improve your status in life, you can and you will.