ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

American Political Agendas Made Simple!

Updated on January 26, 2009

Political agendas in the United States may seem complicated, but they're really simple. In this article I examine conservative, moderate and liberal agendas and what they mean to you and me, as defined as 'normal' people in the world, that is, people with little real knowledge of politics except what happens to them as a result thereof.

The Conservative Agenda

The conservative agenda is to create a fearful, dependent underclass that they can use as they will to amass greater wealth for the ultra-wealthy people they serve. To create this underclass, conservatives cut taxes to multi-million-dollar corporations while they cut services to middle- and lower-income families, while simultaneously cutting back governmental regulatory agencies that are supposed to protect these same middle- and lower-class income families. In addition, they sow fear among the people by focusing their attention on an enemy, real or imagined, instead of the fact that their quality of life is rapidly declining. A war does the job very nicely. That is why conservatives are always likely to start one. All in all it works pretty well.

Conservatives are pro-gun because a well armed populace has good reason to fear its neighbor, and fear is the conservative's best friend.

The Moderate Agenda

Moderates hope to sneak into power without making too many waves. They like to agree with the majority whenever possible because they think that will make them popular, and no one will notice until it's too late that they have grabbed all the top spots in the United States Congress and are diverting all funding to their contractor and business buddies back in their home states.

Because moderates try so hard to stay under the radar of the public at large, they are only moderately successful at lining the wallets of their clients. Therefore they do not attract as much funding from the ultra-wealthy as conservatives and liberals do. They are generally nice people who don't want to harm anyone, but just want to milk the system for all the cash they can get in a peaceful, unassuming kind of way.

They are generally nice people and usually get re-elected once they sneak into office.

The Liberal Agenda

Liberals want to create a welfare state where the government decides everything you do from the way you live to the way you die. Their strategy is to maintain a good quality of life for middle- and lower-income families so that they will be complacent and not interfere as their elected officials get their personal friends and relatives high paying Washington jobs and lucrative government contracts.

Liberals are anti-gun because they are anti-fear. They are pro-apathy and pro-complacency.

Many Hollywood celebrities support the liberal agenda, because they know that happy, contented people spend more on entertainment than fearful, worried people.

So you see, the three big groups of politicians in the United States, conservatives, moderates, and liberals, all have the same agenda. They want to get your money and give it to their friends. And they all do a very, very good job indeed!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • shynsly profile image

      shynsly 7 years ago from Sierra Vista, AZ

      I have to admit, I started off thinking "Yup, here we go again...ugh", but by the time I got to the end, I was laughing... "LOL" indeed.

      I've always thought of myself as a (political) conservative... which I thought was odd, since I hate the republicans as much as the democrats, but after reading a few other hubs by a few other gifted "hubbers" such as yourself, turns out, apparantly I'm what's referred to as a "Libertarian".

      At any rate, excellent hub, and cheers to you, good Sir!

    • Tom Rubenoff profile image
      Author

      Tom Rubenoff 9 years ago from United States

      G-Ma, vodka sounds great about now, or anytime I listen to the news.

      Yes, Tomato, our country is run by rats. You hit the nail right on the head!

    • The Real Tomato profile image

      The Real Tomato 9 years ago

      Those rats...I knew their was a reason I hated politics but I never thought maybe I would abhore a politician. Lawyers must be big campaign contributors.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 9 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      I am such a mixture...Where's the Vodka??? Hee hee Good one Tom...G-Ma :o) Hugs & Peace

    • Tom Rubenoff profile image
      Author

      Tom Rubenoff 9 years ago from United States

      Mr. Goldentoad, sir, under the radar is definitely a good place to be.

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 9 years ago from Free and running....

      I think I fall into the moderate agenda, I too prefer not to let people know I am jacking them over.

    • Tom Rubenoff profile image
      Author

      Tom Rubenoff 9 years ago from United States

      Tom is most honored by Foxility's laughter.

    • foxility profile image

      foxility 9 years ago

      Wow... very nice. Laugh I will.

    • Tom Rubenoff profile image
      Author

      Tom Rubenoff 9 years ago from United States

      Humor is a two-edged thing, so I'm always relieved when people get my joke.

      SiddSingh, yes, W is a conservative, but he is also a liberal and a socialist. He started wars, cut taxes, cut programs for the middle and lower income families, but expanded a program for the elderly at tremendous expense, and nationalized the financial industry! W. is a paradox!

      Elena, I am so glad you enjoyed my primer on American politics. When I think about the political system in my country, I can either laugh or cry. Why not laugh?

    • Elena. profile image

      Elena. 9 years ago from Madrid

      Hi Tom! You ought to have called this hub "Politics 101" !! Laugh!! I like your funky irony and how you make me laugh!

    • SiddSingh profile image

      SiddSingh 9 years ago

      Hi Tom,

      You have explained it in very simple manner. Sounds like W was a conservative, was he? :D

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)