An Open Letter To the NSA

Editor's Note: This article was originally published in November of 2008 in an alternate universe. It is republished for your enjoyment.

Hi guys, how are you doing? It’s me Mike. I’m sure you know me quite well by now. I am well and doing fine. In fact I have been partying like its 1999 for the last couple of days. My friends and I have been celebrating the “we survived Bush” extended holiday. Whoopee! Excuse me; I am still a little delirious, and still a little inebriated.

The purpose of this letter is to address the accusations of your employee, Thomas Tamm. It seems that Tom is feeling a little guilty about all the snooping around you folks did on private American citizens, on W’s orders. The first in line to be snooped, were the journalists. I hope you enjoyed some of my anti Bush, anti NSA posts. I am sure Fear Mongers, was a big hit with you guys.

Now that we have a new administration in office, one that isn’t paranoid of all American citizens that make less than 20 million a year; I figure we should let bygones, be bygones, and not be so suspicious of each other. I don’t know Barrack Obama personally, but I’m sure that he would want you to leave me and my little blog alone. In fact I bet he would want you guys to leave ALL of us tax paying, patriotic, bloggers alone. I know this, because I just heard him re-take the Presidential Oath of Office, in which he swore to defend the Constitution of the United States of America. The last time I checked, the First Amendment, the right to free speech, is still part of that Constitution.

Anyway, now that we don’t have George W. Bush around to stomp on the Constitution anymore, I’m sure that I will not have so many critical comments to make about the abuse of Presidential power. I am confident that both of our lives will be happier, and less confrontational.

Let’s drink a toast to that (hic).