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Apathy in American Churches and Charities

Updated on November 21, 2011

Apathy in American Churches and Charities

I am writing in the first person so I can provide you with a first hand account of what it has been like trying to obtain charity for the past year. As a parent of a medical fragile child that I care for full time without assistance for at least the last three years, who has to medically manage his condition everyday, and also home schools him without a day off, I am without income. The money I had was taken during my Mother’s death. And we were suppose to be beneficiaries of her life insurance policy for $90K but despite the fact I had power of attorney the hospital went against the advanced directive and kept my Mother alive another week which made me lose all of the life insurance monies. Otherwise we would have been financially okay. Not great but okay for a while.

So with basically nothing but food stamps and temporary cash assistance I have been living exceptionally frugally and squeaking by barely.

Six months before my Mother died I contact the State of Florida to have my son put on the emergency Medwaiver list so we could get out of the home and be self sufficient but the state of Florida ignores the plight of the disabled and medically fragile. Actually it is a national past time to kick the cripple in America. Disabled people are ignored entirely as if they don’t exist at all.

I am certain Rick Scott’s political career will be short lived. And it will not help Romney’s cause at all if Rick Scott continues to abuse the disabled children of Florida. Nor will it help JEB at all.

If you have read any other of my work on hubpages you are probably aware I am a worker. I believe in working hard. And I almost finished my PhD in 1 year. I did finish the Master’s and part of the PhD program. I did a lot of field research and writing. And at my young tender age I have worked enough years that when I turn 65, if that is still the age, I qualify for Social Security. I cheated as I started working at 13. And in all those years I had money I gave generously to churches and charities. I did so not once a year but two and three times a year. And I gave every single mass as much as I could in could cold hard cash. I have attended other people’s churches with them and given at their churches as well.

So when all of this happened to me I thought well there are good people out there in the world and for the first time in my life I will get back some of what I have given. I am not even going to mention all the volunteer hours I have put in at various organizations including but not limited to my Father’s political career.

So very humbly I set out with my son who has medical complexities and autism and I went to different organizations. At first I went to the Salvation Army because I have given so much to them. I was told there were conditions to helping me. I asked what they were and I was told I and my son did not qualify. And I couldn’t help myself but I did answer her and I said, “Amazing when you were collecting donations from me you had no conditions.”. And the truth be told I would have never have given to the Salvation Army had I known they placed conditions on helping needy people.

The next place I went to was a Church. I will not tell you the denomination but simply say it was a Christian Church. A conservative estimate of the building would be about 10 million dollars. All the other churches in town organize with this particular church and given them money to give to the needy. I know my friends are putting money in the collection plate at their church for the needy to be dispersed by this one church.

While my son and I were sitting in this man’s office. He told me I should have never had my son in front of my son. He also told me that all the churches organize and only help with 1 month rent and then place that family on a nuisance list. I asked even if the parent is single with a medically complicated child who also as autism? To which he answered “Especially!!!”. And after a very long lecture at how irresponsible I was for having a child with medical complexities, as if I asked for that, he announced he had no money. And that my son’s Father who hasn’t paid a dime in child support in the last 12 years shouldn’t have to because the child is spoiled goods.

Friends I am a college professor which means if I summon my strength I can give anyone an acrinomeous tongue lashing that can shatter a person. I have that in me. And it is very near the surface when anyone says anything negative around my son.

So I looked at the guy and I said. “You pass the collection plate right? And there are about 8,000 seats so you are at least pulling in 8K per surmount. How much can you, Christian, spare for a single Mother with a medical complex child who is in dire straits?” Because I believe if you are going to claim to be a Christian you should act like one and this guy had failed so badly up And he answered, “Absolutely nothing it is all for building our congregation and for missions to Haiti.”. Which meant he was ripping of the other churches in town. And as I stood up to say goodbye and was completely perplexed why if he had no money he bothered me with a his stupid lecture and wasted my time. Or why he would say such horrible things in front of my son even if he believed it to be true. And as I stood I saw a chart for both the Salvation Army which was well over several million dollars and then the United Way which was also over several million dollars. And I knew this man was lying to me and he got off on hurting single women with disabled child. He referred me to another Catholic Church which refused to even given me an appointment. Apparently, I made the nuisance list before receiving any assistance at all.

There is a lot of money it is just not for the needy. And I thought how much Churches and Charities remind me of government and how all of them are on the brink of having no purpose. And that America is filled with Apathetic Churches and Charities.

But what I will never ever do is ever give anything whether it be donations, money or time to any cause any longer. And I know no matter what I can never ask for help again because people think it is an opportunity to hurt me and my son.

I will now tell my friends to no longer take money out of their pockets and place it in the hands of their clergy or charities as it is not reaching people who are truly needy like me. And all of my friends have been wondering why no agency has assisted us given our circumstances over the last year. And they have been pulling back and stopping their donations. And my friends on hubpages you are very capable of understanding the message.

Churches, Charities are paying up into and are apart of government which is something we need a whole lot less of in America.

Poetic Irony

Perhaps it is poetic irony that the week I decide to ask for help which is Thanksgiving week I can't get any help. So even worse then being without my Mother and having to listen the Christmas music for which we will be without her even before Thanksgiving is the fact I now realize that charity doesn't exist for us.


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    • JT Walters profile image

      JT Walters 6 years ago from Florida

      Thanks Max,

      And i was so sad that charities which I had given to so richly had denied us this holiday season. But this morning without asking the local community center dropped off a turkey and enough canned goods to last through hurricane season. So where there was apathy in the Churches I had approached another who I hadn't approached brought us a turkey and I cried. Just when I thought good will was dead it shows up on my door step.

      And so I offered to provide academic counseling to the local community center to all the parents of children interested in attenidng college. Because I always want to give back to those who are so generous to me.

      Thank you Max it is so incredibly kind of you to answer me and allow me the opportunity to herald the generosity I have received. I realy admire you.


    • Max Havlick profile image

      Max Havlick 6 years ago from Villa Park, Illinois

      My deepest sympathies, JT, in all your sufferings and frustrations, for I cannot help but feel hurt along with you as I read what you write.

      I'll not presume to offer up easy answers here to your specifics, but please, JT, do not give up on your quest for reasonable help and the financial means for the uniquely creative, productive life that is within you.

      In my own life experience noticing many people with seemingly intractable financial problems, I have found that all the world is not deaf to such pleas as yours, though the answers rarely come from the obvious places, and can often be found only by digging down within one's self deeper than ever before.

      With love for you as a person, and special admiration for your communicative force.