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How to Determine If You Are a Good Person

Updated on March 21, 2020
Kyler J Falk profile image

In a world full of relative evil, I strive to be open, honest, and ever-evolving. That doesn't make me a good person.

Which one are you?
Which one are you? | Source

Are you a good person?

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Introspective Honesty Is Key

It is rare that you will meet a person who takes time out of their life to be a good person, and when I say "good" I know that can be a bit confusing to some people. The confusion stems from society's need to value insufferably positive views, kinda like the use of the word "normal" being viewed as politically incorrect, making the word "good" something you cannot use as a general statement about an individual and you must focus on their individual qualities. Well I could care less what is politically correct by societal standard, and I'm going to hammer it home here and say that most, if not all, people are inherently bad. Realizing that you are inherently a bad person is the first step to becoming a good person, and the second would be putting in the effort to actually change yourself rather than just the image you put off publicly. This is where honesty with one's self becomes key to the process.

You'd be surprised how willfully oblivious some people are, but when we look at how society functions as it concerns self-image and the promotion of unhealthy mentalities it makes sense that evil people get to parade themselves as good and wholesome. For example: A Christian woman who cheats on her husband every time she gets a few drinks in her and he isn't in town, he is away on business to help support their family, and still thinks she is a good person because she posts on Facebook about God and how blessed she is all day. This woman loves her children, and the privileged lifestyle that her husband provides is exceedingly satisfactory, yet she risks giving it all up and destroying not only her life but the life of her children and husband. By my standards, and most standards, this would make her a bad person. Yet, everyone around her buys into the image she puts off despite knowledge to the contrary of it and she continues to get away with atrocious behavior. Now if there were some arrangement, like an open relationship let's say, then this would make it all well and fine as the husband would know and be consenting to the behavior; there isn't, however, and this behavior has previously threatened to tear the family asunder. It baffles me, but that is just a mild example that could easily be corrected.

On top of the compulsive cheating, she will often attack individuals on her social media with memes and encouraging the group bullying of those who disagree with her. I witnessed an interaction the other day after the Super Bowl, where a man said he didn't want his daughters looking up to Shakira and J-Lo on a post she made telling people they were "...idiots if they don't love Shakira and J-Lo's performance...." and you have to admit that his comment is pretty reasonable, if not a bit over-sensitive. Who would want their daughters half naked in front of America, shaking their jiggly bits like exotic dancers? I don't agree with him, I look at it from the perspective they get paid millions to be glorified strippers, but if they were only getting paid in singles then I'd fully agree with his statement. Nonetheless this innocent comment had her tagging friends and telling them to come in and bash this guy for his views. No less than four individuals came in telling this guy he was an idiot and that he should "Just shut up and sit down...." among other things.

If this Christian woman who cheats on her husband every chance she gets, and attacks anyone who believes things to the contrary of her beliefs, were to look inside her own heart, tell herself that she is being a bad person, and work to change it then she would match the image she portrays to the public. For her sake, and my amusement, let's say this isn't her fault and honest introspection is in fact not the solution. Let's explore the idea that the main issue is in fact the open, and tacit, support that she receives from everyone despite their knowledge that the image isn't anything more than that.

Yeah, do those bad things!
Yeah, do those bad things! | Source

Do you continue to support friends despite repeated offenses?

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Positive Reinforcement for Terrible Behavior

Having grown up in households with narcissists where speaking if you were not spoken to meant a beating more often than not, and toiling under the current societal norm of performative cruelty that everyone seems so keen to ignore while using it as a tool to sate their sadistic desires, it doesn't surprise me that terrible behavior such as that mentioned in the previous section is allowed to occur. When you can't criticize anyone who appears to be presenting a positive topic, although they are only doing it to cover up their evil disposition, then you are painted as the one who is evil or bad and all hope is lost. If a priest who came out expressing the glory of God, saying we all need to love and accept one another, but all the while was known as a child molester you wouldn't support him but chastise him. There is no way you could support a known child molester, or supporter of those who molest children, but there are many who would and in fact do for the sake of positive demeanor. Cover that child molestation with philosophy and poetry that calls for the support of your fellow man, use flowery wording to make the masses forget that you're actually the scum of the earth, and attack anyone who would seek to further besmirch your name and the name of those who now decided to have a kind public face.

Anyone, anyone at all who puts the least amount of time possible into correcting their public image, knows that all you have to do to win over the masses is offer an apology for not living up to your own standards, swear to pursue some noble goal to the contrary of what you were caught doing, and then ensure you never get caught doing it again. With the public opinion now swayed back onto your side, you're free to go about your evil doings with impunity and even if you get caught again the public is dumb enough to repeat the exact same process over again. It is important to ask yourself if being positive about someone's change is actually the proper stance to hold from the onset of their apologies. Usually people apologize because they got caught and not because they feel any remorse whatsoever, and we all know this. So why does this nonsense continue to occur?

Evil is allowed to occur, and bad people allowed to keep being terrible, because the mentality that it is bad to appear negative is being ingrained into our minds. You can't have an opinion to the contrary if the topic being presented is painted in a positive light. You can't be angry when someone tries to trigger you because being angry means you are insecure. You can't be hurt by someone trying to cause you damage because if you do then you're weak. You can't pick more than one side to support because that just makes you indecisive and part of the problem. At this juncture, I feel I've made my point well and clear that positive reinforcement is, more often than not, hypocrisy and a tool to help evil people get away with their evil deeds.

Have you ever encouraged terrible behavior?

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You're careless with your words, and you could care less.
You're careless with your words, and you could care less. | Source

You Don't Really Care at All

The hardest truth to swallow for most would have to be the fact that no one really cares, especially those fighting the hardest to uphold their public image. I've met good people, those I could safely place on the pedestal of sainthood, and not for a second do they spend time in the limelight defending their public image. Good people do not need to defend themselves, nor their opinions, to anyone. They simply don't partake in the hypocrisy-laden trifles of us lesser beings. They are out fighting the good fight making the world a better place with every action, or more importantly abstention from action, that they take. These people are the ones proving that they care, that they are the only ones who really care about anything they choose to preach, by also practicing what it is they wish to see within others. All this being said, most of those people don't really care about anything but themselves and manifesting what it is they want in their own lives yet it is safe to say they are good people.

When you make an ignorant, hatefully connotative, slimy post on your social media that targets anyone in a negative way you are now being a bad person. For every time you have done that put another check-mark in the "I'm a bad person" column and realize you are damaging others. Any time you have given someone a dirty look for something they have tried to do, then gossiped about it with your friends later, another check-mark. Have you ever let someone get away with hurting someone else physically, mentally, verbally, etc.? Let's slap another check-mark in that column. Do you think it's okay to act this way towards someone because they are also a bad person? Keep filling in that "I'm a bad person" column. Mind you, I'm telling you to physically, literally take the time out of your day to take into account the actions that make you a bad person; because if you can't do that at the very least then my point here has been proven. You just don't care at all. Your excrement must smell like roses, eh?

Please feel free to go into the comments and give me your opinion, I'd love to be relieved of any ignorance you perceive me as having. I always love hearing constructive, progressive ideas to the contrary of my writings so I may build upon them in the future. Who knows, maybe we can have a great dialogue? You'd have to care in the first place, though, so I don't expect much of anything at all.

Comments

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    • Kyler J Falk profile imageAUTHOR

      Kyler J Falk 

      6 weeks ago from Corona, CA

      Thank you, Bushra! You haven't posted in a while, I'm looking forward to your next writing endeavor!

    • Bushra Iqbal profile image

      Aishatu Ali 

      6 weeks ago from Rabwah, Pakistan

      Good article - thought-provoking!

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