Being a man in the 21st century

Merely being a man can be offensive nowadays. That is something I leaned recently. I'm not joking, but I guess at least a few could relate. I considered myself a pro feminist untill today. But a mere few hours of debate proved otherwise. Apparently joking about feminists is a serious offense these days, it could land you as a patriarch .You are not supposed to do that. It's like "feminists" are triggered by anything and everything a MAN says.

Let me explain. First about my point of view. I really do believe that men and women are equal. There is no doubt about that. A woman should be able to do anything and everything a man does, if they are able to do it. And she should be given equal pay for the work. I could narrate a whole novel about how women are equal to men. But let me put it in simpler terms. Women and men are the same, excluding the biological.

Now, the problem. I was talking to a few people. I told them about how certain women exploit the term feminism. All I meant is this, there are women who use the term feminism to cover up for their own mistakes or faults. The example I gave them was this.

Take the case of a certain small business run by a MAN. He is hiring a new staff. Two candidates apply. A man, who has some degrees and a woman who does not have any sort of educational qualifications for the job. Obviously the man was hired. The woman then goes off and blames that she did not get the job because she was a woman.

My opinion was that this was a missuse of the term and using it for personal gains. It seemed pretty clear to me. But they started defending it. It was said that the woman might not have had an education because she had parents who might not have wanted her to study because she was a woman, or ghat the store owner was infact a sexiest and that was the reason why she was not hired. All these might be true. But does that justify that she did not get the job because she was a woman. Or that it is patriarchy that took the job away from her. The way I see it, I would've done the same thing of it was my business. I could support feminism all day long but that isn't going to feed my family. I want qualified people to be my employees.

After a few hours of arguing in that matter it came to patriarchy. Her action was justified, or at least normalized because patriarchy existed for so long. Yeah! Because many of our ancestors and probably many of our contemporaries are douchebags her action is normal. It is ok. " Do you expect woman to fight back nicely?" This was the exact question put to me.

I get that it is hard to be a woman, even though I might not understand it to the full extend how difficult it is to be a women. There is oppression everywhere. But does that mean blaming men for everything is fine? I don't get it.

If you are mistreated JUST because you are a women then let's talk feminism. I would support you anyways I can. But if you are not qualified for a job, and doesn't get it because of that lack of qualifications go learn to take responsibility. It's like people blaming the qualified immigrants who get the good jobs. Go get qualified or shut it for heavens sake. Business want money and better qualified workers. Feminism alone won't bring in the money.

I don't know, I might be dead wrong. My opinion might not be valid and it might be highly patriarchal. I have never made decisions based on gender where it shouldn't matter. But when the situation is that whatever I say can be used against me because of my gender it doesn't feel right. I really would like your opinion on the matter.