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Best George W. Bush Quotes of All Time

Updated on July 2, 2010

George W. Bush certainly gave us plenty of humorous quotes during his presidency. No matter what you thought about the president, you can certainly enjoy reading some quotes that will surely make you smile. So here are some of George W. Bush's top funny quotes:

  • One of the very difficult parts of the decision I made on the financial crisis was to use hardworking people's money to help prevent there to be a crisis.
  • I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best.
  • A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.
  • I think we ought to raise the age at which juveniles can have a gun.
  • I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to come and witness my hanging.
  • Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.
  • Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called "walking."
  • I've been in the Bible every day since I've been the president.
  • Anyone engaging in illegal financial transactions will be caught and persecuted.
  • I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office.
  • And so the fact that they purchased the machine meant somebody had to make the machine. And when somebody makes a machine, it means there's jobs at the machine-making place.
  • They misunderestimated me.
  • You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.
  • Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
  • Reading is the basics for all learning.
  • Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
  • Will the highways on the Internet become more few?
  • I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.
  • I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family
  • I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.
  • Thank you, your Holiness. Awesome speech. (George Bush to Pope Benedict)
  • Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.
  • “Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice shame on you well you can’t fool me twice!
  • They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program.
  • It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet.
  • Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.
  • It's your money. You paid for it.
  • Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it.
  • Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness.
  • Do you have blacks, too? (to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso)
  • I want to thank the President and the CEO of Constellation Energy, Mayo Shattuck. That's a pretty cool first name, isn't it, Mayo. Pass the Mayo.
  • I've coined new words like, misunderstanding and Hispanically.
  • I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them.
  • To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say: You, too, can be president of the United States.
  • You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.
  • We're concerned about AIDS inside our White House -- make no mistake about it.
  • This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table.
  • When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive.
  • A lot of times in politics you have people look you in the eye and tell you what's not on their mind.
  • I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.
  • Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.
  • There’s no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world’s worst weapons.
  • See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don’t attack each other. Free nations don’t develop weapons of mass destruction.
  • The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the — the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice.
  • I’m looking forward to a good night’s sleep on the soil of a friend.
  • Wow! Brazil is big.
  • I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality. 
  • In my sentences I go where no man has gone before...I am a boon to the English language.
  • As you know, these are open forums, you’re able to come and listen to what I have to say
  • I know something about being a government. And you’ve got a good one.
  • We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.
  • I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what’s moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves.
  • I’m the commander — see, I don’t need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That’s the interesting thing about being president.
  • The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself.
  • We need an energy bill that encourages consumption.
  • This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.
  • Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace.
  • One year ago today, the time for excuse-making has come to an end.
  • I think the American people—I hope the American—I don’t think, let me—I hope the American people trust me.

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    • AJReissig profile image

      Alex J. Reissig 4 years ago from New Richmond, Ohio

      Funny stuff! To be honest though, there have been tons of blunders by Presidents; I'm sure this goes all the way back to Wahingington. We see the recent Presidents do it more often because they are on camera 24/7. Still, it was funny to see these. Great hub!

    • CMerritt profile image

      Chris Merritt 6 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

      and yet, unemployment was under 5% and our economy wasn't doing too bad....

    • profile image

      Longhunter 6 years ago

      God, I miss this guy and Laura.

      Great hub!

    • daskittlez69 profile image

      daskittlez69 6 years ago from midwest

      lol, agh reading this makes you almost miss him. Almost!

    • A M Werner profile image

      Allen Werner 7 years ago from West Allis

      Puppet - can almost see the strings. He wasn't going to do anything he wasn't told to do. I think he often stumbled over his words (he is much more intelligent than this), because the things he he wanted to say probably were not the things he had to say. Peace

    • xnotion profile image

      xnotion 7 years ago

      They're real, you can see unedited videos of him saying them

    • American Romance profile image

      American Romance 7 years ago from America

      doubt those are real, but all I can say is Please hurry back Mr. President!

    • xnotion profile image

      xnotion 7 years ago

      Haha thanks, Brenda! This Hub definitely isn't meant to be political. There are tons of good AND bad things that every president has done. These quotes are just a collection of all the funny things he has said over the years. Thanks for the rating!

    • profile image

      Brenda Durham 7 years ago

      They're fun! And some of them very good really. I like the "Fool me once" one and lotsa others.

      Well....I'll say this----he may have bumbled some words/sentences, but at least he shoots straight, and he doesn't just recite a speech from the cue cards (like...ahem...ya know who!)

      I like this kind of hub. I rated it up and funny.

    • xnotion profile image

      xnotion 7 years ago

      These are all real, from things he has actually said. The video is obviously clips, but it isn't fake in any way.

    • profile image

      Brenda Durham 7 years ago

      Hold on now. Are those for real? Or doctored-up video clips and quotes?