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Close Down the Colleges!

Updated on June 22, 2015
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Buzzy Prepares a Feast

Good Morning, Breakfastpoppers. Today s Monday, June 22, 2015. Our busy friend, Buzzy, is with us this morning at the breakfast table. Buzzy has prepared several ham and cheese quiches for your enjoyment. He will accompany the quiches with home fries and freshly baked croissants. I will add to the pleasure by serving Irish coffees. Buzzy has just returned from a fly-by over the National Mall. He witnessed firsthand the demise of our country if it is left in the hands of today's college students. Please join us for breakfast so that Buzzy can explain what he experienced.

Source

Did I Hear This Correctly?

Thank you all for coming to breakfast this morning. I had a busy week-end and I couldn't wait to share the bad news with you. If the majority of college students I encountered this week-end are any example of what our future citizenry looks like, it is time to hit the road. Better yet, it is time to stop wasting money on higher education that is producing graduates who can't think their way out of a paper bag. The group Campus Reform sent correspondent Cabot Phillips to the National Mall to interview students passing by. He spoke to them about candidates seeking to become president and the answers they gave will make you want to pull the covers over your head and stay out of sight. Those among you who have kids in college may be tempted to get in touch with them and ask them a few questions modeled after those asked by Cabot Philips.

Source

General Mills for President

Students were asked about General Mills. The correspondent asked one student if the General was qualified to run for President. After all, he reasoned, the General was responsible for the loss of life during times of war. This particular student felt quite strongly that the General should not be counted out. I happen to agree because I do enjoy those fruity cereals he produces when he is on leave from the war zones. How about Senator Ford Taurus for president? Many a student thought that Senator Taurus deserved a shot at leading this country. Actually, compared to what we have now, the actual Ford Taurus would do a better job. At least we could be assured that the car would not be jetting around the country playing golf on our dime. My personal favorite candidate is Senator Don Corleone. The students had faith in his ability to lead the country in the right direction. The one certainty about a Corleone candidacy, is that he could make China, Iran, North Korea and ISIS offers they couldn't refuse.

Source

From Bad to Worse

Just when you thought it might be safe to come out from under the blanket, the future leaders of America were asked about Congressman John Stamos. They liked him, they really liked him. The fact that he was just arrested for driving under the influence made no difference. Then again, why should it? Hilary Clinton makes a career out of misbehaving and still so many people think she's grand. They must have attended the same schools this young people attend. In any case, if it's not John Stamos the college students really liked Congressman Jon Bob Jovi! If not Bon Jovi, there is always the talented and formidable Governor Bruce Lee. At least he does know something about defense issues. I wish I could say the same for President Obama.

Source

And So....

And so we are definitely screwed in terms of our present and our future. When people who actually go to college believe that Ford Taurus is a viable candidate, it is time to think about raising our admission standards. In fact, do we still have standards or is it politically incorrect to refuse entrance to college to those too stupid to get in based upon actual intelligence? A few years after I graduated college, my school dabbled with the notion of open enrollment. When I sought entrance I had to have a high GPA and decent scores on the College Boards. Under the new policy anyone who wanted to could go to college. They had to take remedial courses to get them up to some semblance of qualifying ability. Needless to say, that never happened. The remedial courses were simply too hard to pass. After some time, open enrollment was disbanded and the school had to work very hard to regain its once great reputation. Clearly, it is now in vogue to go to college. For many students this is a complete waste of time and money. Certainly, if a student wants to pursue a career that requires a degree, attending college makes sense. On the other hand, it does not make sense for many. Success in other fields does not require a higher education. Somehow, we seem to have forgotten the simple truth of this last statement. I think Senator Don Corleone would agree that college is not for everyone. He was, after all, a practical man.

Buzzy's Song

Fly me to the moon

And let me live where things make sense

Things are so weird right now

I'm feeling a little tense!

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    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Good Morning nicomp,

      It's still a huge waste of money, even if it is not taxpayer money. Maybe we should get rid of the professors! See you at the Inn.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 

      3 years ago from Ohio, USA

      It's not all bad news: consider colleges that don't accept government money for student loans. Such institutions are not subject to regulatory burdens. Their overhead is much lower because they don't have to employ cadres of administrators to handle federal paperwork.

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Good Morning Venkatachari,

      What you have said is common sense. Sadly, common sense is dying a slow and painful death in this country. Thank you for joining me at the breakfast table this morning.

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 

      3 years ago from Hyderabad, India

      Very interesting hub. Our educational institutions should pay attention to practical knowledge that is useful in facing our day-to-day problems and career problems. Going to college simply to obtain a degree is of no use in present situations. I think even those organisations which demand a degree for enrolment are simply foolish. Talent and self-confidence are more important than degrees.

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Dear dr,

      Don Corleone would make a fine president. He would make our enemies offers that they can't refuse, and I don't think he enjoys golf. See you at the Inn.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      3 years ago from south Florida

      I dunno, bp. In light of this enchanting although disheartening article, I am tempted to vote for Don Corleone. Could we convince him to run for President instead of Senator? At least he knows how to get things done!

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Good Morning SanXuary,

      I spoke to a young woman who graduated college 4 years ago. She said her education was a complete joke. Anyone could pass and they did regardless of their poor performance. What an expensive waste of time. Thanks for joining me at the breakfast table.

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Good Morning fp,

      The only sniffing on my hub may come from HubPages itself. Let's just carry on in spite of that. I heard this morning that Hillary has higher ratings than all the GOP candidates. That is one hell of a lousy way to start the day. Let's cheer up at the Inn tonight.

    • profile image

      SanXuary 

      3 years ago

      I have considered higher education to be a waste of money for some time. Attending a college and taking Industrial English I got the pleasure of reading the other students long reports. Some were so horrible and so far off base I wondered if they would even be accepted. It turns out they were graded as good if not better then mine. The College professor wants to keep getting there money and me being much older and far more serious simply meant that he graded me much harder. I am certain that I write much better and a judge will understand my statement while the other student is describing to the judge how he said dude you tipped my beer over and it caused me to panic and hit you wah in the mouth, like dude u didn't. Worst of all no business really cares about your education and upper management is just a game of blaming others so you can advance. A corporate World is a terrible place to waste your education but for a fee the diploma mills will keep running.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Pop...Obviously Sen. Nabisco OREO (choc & vanilla...Ooops!) has been dunked in the milk once too many times...He has crumbled...(I don't know if this will pass the politically correct sniff test!)

      Well...wait a minute. Of course it will. This is a political HUB!

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Dear FitnezzJim,

      I just looked at the ads and that is funny. My personal favorite is now Ford Taurus. I hear he runs like a well oiled machine. See you at the Inn.

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Dear who,

      Buzzy comes from a fine family of investigative insects. He will be pleased to know you had a pet fly, and he will be saddened by his untimely demise.

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Dear Mike,

      The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, so the parents may want to vote for sen Corleone too! See you at the Inn.

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Dear fp,

      I want to encourage you because your fun, but if it is making you nuts I understand. I am at the Inn sitting with Uneeda Bisquit who is thinking about throwing her hat in the ring.

    • FitnezzJim profile image

      FitnezzJim 

      3 years ago from Fredericksburg, Virginia

      And did you note all the cereal ads your article brought up? Captain Crunch running against Ford Taurus would be a gas. If Ford Taurus won we could call him a cereal winner.

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 

      3 years ago from United States

      I once had a fly for a best friend in my dorm room(yes...in college)I named him Buddy. I got a new room mate a little later and the first thing he did was swat and kill my little fly. I was pissed. Just goes to show you...forty years ago how hostile and coldblooded we were...and the kids are still blood thirsty and inconsiderate. Flies of the world unite. We can defeat the dirty rats(oops) if we all stand and buzz together. whonu

    • profile image

      Old Poolman 

      3 years ago

      I wonder if any of their parents saw them and are a little concerned about how uneducated they really are?

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Yeah Ok Chiquita Banana may be good. Easy to SPLIT.....might be comfortably Bi-partisan! God forbid!

      (Don't encourage me. I can go on endlessly, until it gets CRAZY!)

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Dear fp,

      Colonel Sanders won't fly because he may be politically incorrect. Sen. Chiquita Banana is now my choice! I'll be at the Inn awaiting your arrival.

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Dear Gawth,

      Common sense appears to be extinct! It may be time to go into hiding... I'll see you at the Inn.

      ,

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Colonel Sanders called.......He's furious no one suggested him as a candidate......and we've ruffled his chicken's feathers! We may want to avoid KFC for a while.

    • Gawth profile image

      Ron Gawthorp 

      3 years ago from Millboro, Virginia

      Ha! Why not erect a statue in honor of General Mills. After all he is no less reliable than The Mailman (Kevin Costner) who worked, co-incidentally--for no less a genius than Postmaster yGeneral Ford Lincoln Mercury.

      Unfortunately common sense does not come bottled.

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Good Morning DJ,

      I am thinking that Sen. J.C. Penny might make a fabulous president. See you at the Inn.

    • profile image

      DJ Anderson 

      3 years ago

      Say what you will, but personally, I thing Congressman John Stamos

      would make a perfect president. LOL I turn the TV sound to mute when Prez. ding-bat gets in front of the cameras. Could do the same with John Stamos, but I could look at that handsome face and smile.

      Let's face it, Pop, Stamos could not do any worse than what in sitting

      in out White House right now.

      At one time, my son dated a private college graduate. Her degree

      was in communications. Her job for the last eight years: she answers the phone and direct the calls for a call center.

      What a waste of her grandparent's money.

      Good article, Pop.

      One vote for John Stamos!!! LOL

      DJ.

    • profile image

      Old Poolman 

      3 years ago

      Perhaps we could set it up to where they are forced to correctly answer a current events question to gain access to their facebook or twitter account. Kind of an ever changing password that would require them to do a little research every day before they could play.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      That Corleone fella was a great politician, don't you think? Always fighting for the little man and making sure we all got a fair break. LO L Great installment this week, Pop. I'm a former teacher and I can't think of anything to say to refute your words. Just one of many reasons why I'm no longer teaching.

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Good Morning fp,

      You win the award for making me laugh this morning! Actually, I would cast a vote for Neiman Marcus if he ran against Hillary! See you at the Inn. I have asked a masseuse to come in and relax you.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      OK pop, looks like I have one of two choices or a mixture of both. Laugh or Cry.

      This shouldn't be surprising or shocking.....but all I want to do is "wish: it away." I must say that the award goes to correspondent Cabot Phillips for uncanny restraint under the circumstances.

      I am surely not cut out to do this sort of casual pop quiz on the streets. I would simply not be able to maintain my composure.

      None of these young adults have a clue. Anyone with any brains knows that the next president will be Neiman Marcus.

      Excellent job at raising my blood pressure as ALWAYS, pop!!

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Good Morning Tom,

      I doubt that kids today would get the humor in "Mad Magazine." The schools have virtually guaranteed that future citizens will be putty in the hands of unscrupulous politicians. See you at the Inn.

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Good Morning taxlarry,

      I think we are in trouble. See you later at the Inn.

    • breakfastpop profile imageAUTHOR

      breakfastpop 

      3 years ago

      Good Morning carol,

      We raised our kids to be responsible and work hard for what they wanted. They, in turn, are raising their children the same way. Without good parenting, kids are on their own and the results are usually pathetic. I have to say that years ago the people I knew in college would know that General Mills is not on the battlefield. I have to apologize, I made quite a few typos in this hub which made me look like a product of lousy education. See you the Inn. Port is definitely not for me.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 

      3 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Pop and Buzzy,

      Ya just can't make this stuff up. Oh well, in the words of the prophet of the 50's and 60's, Alfred E. Newman, "What, me worry?"

    • profile image

      taxlarry 

      3 years ago

      What is really scary is that these geniuses vote. That is one reason we have who we have in positions of leadership. We should be concerned.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 

      3 years ago from Arizona

      I think it is all just a sign of the times..There is so much entitlement and hard work is a thing of the past. Kids today want to start a job at the top and they don't want "starter" anything. New cars, homes and the best jobs with the best benefits---maybe work 3 days a week and get others to do the work. I knew when I was 14 that if I wanted something I had to find a way to get it by earning money. .....So at the Inn tonite I am thinking about having some Port.

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