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Dear God, Could I Have Just a Minute?

Updated on November 15, 2014

Do You Feel This Way Too:?

I said "Dear God, Could I Have a Word?"


Hoping that God heard me, I began....

I know you’re busy these days with all that is going on in the world. Normally I wouldn’t bother you with this but I think it’s time we had a little chat. I know we have an understanding between us and that you don’t judge me because I talk to you like you were sitting in this room with me. I’m sorry to be so informal but I just don’t feel any closer to you all dressed up and sitting on a pew than I do here and now. So, before I get started I want to say thanks for being here. I hope you’re not in a big hurry because this might take a little time today.


Assuming that God was listening, I continued.

When I woke up this morning I was really grouchy. Now, I’m not usually like this. Most days I wake up excited to see what the day will bring. Sometimes I get disappointed but most of the time I find something to be happy and grateful about. Today was just one of those days I guess but I couldn’t shake the grouchy off. I had an extra cup of coffee this morning too, hoping it would make a difference but no, it didn’t. So I figured I’d better have a chat with someone bigger and more powerful than me. So, here I am.

You see God, it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even want to turn on the news. It’s always bad and those rich guys that control the media seem to really get off on sensationalizing tragedy and oppression. I don’t get it. Are there people out there in the world that really get off on someone else’s pain?

Silence.

Yeah, I hear ya. I knew the answer before I asked the question. But I don’t understand it. If they spent some of that energy helping others, the whole world would be a better place to live.

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

There's bad news everywhere I turn.

So anyway, I turned off the news this morning after hearing about wars and celebrities abusing children, extreme weather and environmental destruction, politicians pointing fingers and the looming civil unrest over cops shooting kids. It was just all too much. I turned on the computer and waded into the world of social media. Geeze, it was just as bad as the news. My friends are sharing stories of animal abuse and neglect, wounded warriors coming home and waiting months for proper medical care, and pipelines that threaten to destroy family farms. Oh yeah, there was a lot more but it was all too much too. So, I logged off.

Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees.
Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees. | Source

I hear voices in my head.

When I don’t know what else to do, I find myself standing at my kitchen window staring into space and getting lost in my thoughts. It’s really cold here today; unseasonably cold, but thankfully, there is no snow. So I stood there staring into space and I suddenly became aware of the trees. Outside my window there are three very large maple trees. They turn a beautiful deep red in the Fall and then one by one they lose their leaves. Two of the trees are standing bare this morning but the one right in front of my widows is just beginning to turn color In the stillness I heard my Dad’s voice saying “Sometimes you have to step back because you can’t see the forest for the trees”. Even that made me mad because I thought that was exactly what I was doing – stepping back and, I really miss my Dad.

Social pressures are mounting too.

Thinking about my Dad made me grouchy too. He’ll be 86 next week and he doesn’t even know who I am anymore. Sometimes his conversation is nothing more than garbled sounds mixed in with real words that don’t belong together. I wonder what it sounds like to him. I’d like to ask you God – why did you have to let my Dad have Alzheimer’s disease? It’s horrible and it shouldn’t have been like this for him. Geeze, everyone in his family died of heart disease. Their deaths were quick and they knew me right up to the very end. My Dad is a good man and he deserved a lot better than this. Maybe you don’t know this but it’s really hard for families to watch Alzheimer’s steal their loved one and not even know how they got it.

While I’m on the subject of Alzheimer’s, I want to tell you that I really think it stinks that an entire generation of us are trying to take care of our children and our parents too. Do you have any idea how hard that it? The economy crashed and most of us lost our good paying job. Some of us are still looking for a job and now we’re having to stretch our budgets to pay for our kids to get an education and our parent to have a sitter so that we can go out long enough to look for a job. I understand that some of us are hardheaded and have to be hit in the head in order to learn something but gosh, taking care of two generations is a bit much.

It's really hard to do good sometimes.

You know God, at my age, I’m really trying to do things better than I did when I was young. Instead of saving money to party on the weekend, I pinch pennies so that I can buy healthier food. Are you aware that it costs a lot more to buy food that is grown organically than it does to buy food that is full of pesticides and preservatives and the dreaded GMO’s? Our commercial meats are pumped full of hormones and antibiotics and our daughters bodies look like they are 18 when they are only 12 years old and our sons are taking weapons to school and killing people. Are you aware of all this?

Silence.

What I’m trying to say is dang, it’s just getting harder all the time to do better. I don’t mean to sound like I’m not grateful for the good things in my life. I really am. Honestly, I’m not so happy about losing my eyesight but I know that things could be a whole lot worse. My family is blessed, in spite of Dad’s Alzheimer’s disease and Mom’s stroke. My parents taught us kids the difference in right and wrong and that it wasn’t money that made you happy; it was love and doing things for others. I’ve been blessed with wonderful friends throughout my life and I’ve had jobs that I really loved too. I’ve had pets that brought me love and laughter and an appreciation for nature that could transport me to a place of genuine peace. I have a lot to be grateful for and I want to thank you.

The lesson becomes clear.

Maybe that’s what this day was all about. I really don’t like being grouchy but I was not a happy girl today and I felt like I was overdue having a chat with you. I know I only asked for a minute and I’ve taken a bit more than that. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I waited until things got this bad to ask for a minute of your time. I know better. So God, thanks for being here today. Thanks for listening to me again. I’ll try to do better in the future.

Before I go, could I ask a favor? Would you listen out for some of the others in this world who are trying so hard to do better? We get a little frustrated when there is so much wrong in the world and we want to fix it so bad. They might be waking up grouchy too and not re4alize they need a minute of your time. Drop in on them, would you?

God enters by a private door into each individual. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

© 2014 Linda Crist

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  • lrc7815 profile image
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    Linda Crist 2 years ago from Central Virginia

    Hello Best of Living. Thank you for the visit. I appreciate your visit and the common.

  • lrc7815 profile image
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    Linda Crist 2 years ago from Central Virginia

    delia-delia, thank you for reading my hub and sharing your thoughts. Your words are inspirational.

  • delia-delia profile image

    Delia 2 years ago

    Yes, I also have daily conversations with God, from the moment I wake up Thanking Him for another day...God always wants us to reach out to Him, and our prayers are answered but sometimes not the way we thought it would be. God doesn't do bad things to people, He allows us to make the choices of good and bad, and of course we reap the concequences. Life is about choices! Having God in my life is what gets me though everything.

  • lrc7815 profile image
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    Linda Crist 2 years ago from Central Virginia

    quildon, Thanks for stopping by and providing your support. We need to encourage each other, don't we?

  • quildon profile image

    Angela Joseph 2 years ago from Florida

    You echoed the thoughts and hearts of most of us with this hub. We do get grouchy when we look at all the unfairness around us, and when that happens the best place to look to is to God. There might be a lot of silence while we do all the talking, but the important thing is, He is there and He hears and He understands.

  • lrc7815 profile image
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    Linda Crist 2 years ago from Central Virginia

    Best of Aying, I appreciate the visit and hope you find your peace soon too.

  • Best of Aying profile image

    Best of Aying 2 years ago from Philippines

    I can relate to this article of yours, Maam Linda...wonderful!

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 2 years ago from Central Virginia

    Paula!!!! So good to hear from you. I've been writing a hub all day and Hubpages has been freezing every 5 minutes. Arrrggghhh! The new one is out there now. lol

    Thank you for reading this one and paying me such a sweet compliment. It means a lot coming from you. How are you????? I have really missed you. Just haven;'t spent much time here lately. You are like a ray of sunshine after fighting with this site all day. THANKS!!!

  • fpherj48 profile image

    Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

    Hey Girlfriend...WTH? I just clicked on to what looked like a brand new hub by you and it tells me it's no longer published??

    I know what you mean about not wanting to make little things into huge issues. We ALL have our "grouchy" days.....it's very normal and also understandable. You know what else? Sometimes we ask the very same questions.......Be comforted, honey......you are special and you are loved......UP+++

  • lrc7815 profile image
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    Linda Crist 2 years ago from Central Virginia

    Linda, thank you! You have no idea how much your comment means to me. I hope we both get our answers one day. Yes, my grouchies are gone. I think God heard me today. No, I know God heard me. It seems my Dad was obsessed with his "Linda" today and that could only mean that we somehow connected on a more meaningful level. My Mom called to tell me that all he could talk about today was "Linda". I will sleep good tonight. Hope you do too!

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 2 years ago from Central Virginia

    Eric, I am so glad that you were here today. This piece felt important to me. God is ever present in my life but sometimes I forget to be forthright in my conversations. I don't like to bother God with my little stuff when there are so many others with big problems. Thank you Eric for always encouraging and supporting me.

  • lrc7815 profile image
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    Linda Crist 2 years ago from Central Virginia

    Kindred, I feel ya. You say more in a few words than a lot of people say in a lifetime. I love you too!

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 2 years ago from Central Virginia

    Shauna, you are just precious. I'm really fine.l I took a personal moment and tried to turn it into a creative piece of writing that might help someone else. I wanted to show that prayer doesn't have to be reserved for Sunday mornings and it sure doesn't have to end with "Amen". I also wanted to show that even though my faith is strong I am far from perfect. None of us are really but we have a tendency to pretend.

    My Dad was heavy on my mind today. I've learned to live with his disease and most days it doesn't bother me at all. The really odd thing is that a couple hours after I wrote this piece, my Mom called. She visited Dad today and she said that all he could talk about was "Linda". Tell me God doesn't answer prayers. I'm sure that his comments were random and probably made little sense but I found comfort in thinking that in some space in time today, he felt my love. So yes, I found the rose colored glasses my special friend. I did indeed. Love you Sha!

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 2 years ago from Orlando, FL

    Linda, I felt like I was intruding on your private conversation with God, then I realized that you were asking him questions that I would also like answers for, but never did. Oh well.

    I hope your grouchies are doing better! :)

  • Ericdierker profile image

    Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

    I am glad you shared your chat with us today. I feel like I have it everyday sometimes. Great writing friend.

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Two things, Kindred, and I'm not going to ramble on for a very long time. One, you are such a very good writer....two, you are such a very good human being.

    Okay, and three

    I love you

    bill

  • bravewarrior profile image

    Shauna L Bowling 2 years ago from Central Florida

    Linda, you talk to God the same way I do. I talk to Him wherever I am and I have a conversation. I don't do the Hail Mary or the Our Father and I damn straight don't interrupt my Sunday to go to an edifice where God is supposed to exist. He exists. Period. He hears me when I feel the need to speak to Him. And it's usually when I'm at home or in the car, or wherever I am when I want to strike up conversation.

    Your plea to God to enter the hearts of those who don't know to ask may be moot. He's always there. He works whether we ask Him to or not. Why he's beset your father with Alzheimer's is beyond me and I understand your questions. Yet, you still have faith. Maybe one day you'll have your answers.

    Do yourself a favor. Quit watching the news. I don't think I've watched the news in 30 years. When I read the paper, I read articles that speak to me. Occasionally - VERY occasionally - I'll read the doom and gloom, but I know there's so much more to life than the negative that's reported. We can't have positives without negatives. You have to choose which to concentrate on.

    If I'm not mistaken, I passed you a pair of rose-colored glasses the last time we visited at the Witch Tower. Have you lost them? I'll bet if you look closely enough, they're sitting on top of your head.

    I'm so glad you reached out to God. I'm not religious by any means, but I talk to God in the same way you do. And I do talk to Him.

    Thank you for sharing, sweetie. You've reached more than God today, my dear friend.