Defend Your Freedom-Sticks; Arm a Gun-Toting Hero Today

There was a time in America, the good old days before the Civil War wrecked everything, when people would carry their freedom-sticks pret’ near anywhere and would save people’s lives. When Marshall Matt Dillon in the old west Gunsmoke series used guns, he used them to protect the people. He could actually shoot guns out of the hands of criminals and thus unnecessarily save even the criminal’s life. Old west Clint Eastwood could do that too. Why didn’t any of the Navy’s finest shoot the gun out of Aaron Alexis’ hand to save lives on Sept. 16th at the Navy Yard? It’s because there are no more gun-toting heroes of American lore, like the Magnificent Seven, around any more.

One way to stop liberals from taking our freedom-sticks, other than shooting them, is to have gun-toting heroes traveling the nation, shooting people, and thus saving lives. Thank God we didn’t ban guns from Aaron Alexis; killing him after he killed others was more efficient. And the Navy Yard was gun-free, except for armed security, and Alexis killed two of them first. The name gun-free must have confused the armed guards at the Navy Yard, and thus they were unable to defend themselves with their freedom-sticks.

At least now we won’t have to pay for Alexis’ mental health care. And, he no longer hears voices. Preventing the shooting by giving Mr. Alexis counseling and taking away his guns would have been too costly and anti-American, so shut up you liberals and keep your hands off our guns!!

There are lots of lunatics with guns that would shoot up their workplaces, schools, universities, anywhere really, but they only target the places that are gun-free zones. You see, maniacs with guns always think things through logically before striking. And armed teachers and office workers will also be trained in precognition, so they will know they are in danger being the shooting starts.

If we only had a designated “good guy with a gun” everywhere in the nation (also trained in precognition), there would no longer be mass or spree shootings. For example, we had Joe Zamudio at the Gabrielle Giffords’ rally in January 2011 when the event was shot up by Jared Loughner. Zamudio had a concealed weapon’s permit and ran from near by to help. He aimed at another man with gun. Too bad Zamudio didn’t shoot. The man he had in his sights had just wrestled the gun away from the actual shooter. However, it would have been a better story for the NRA if someone had shot and killed Jared Loughner instead of disarming him without a gun.

As we arm more heroes in more and more places to keep us safe, we need to train more people to shoot to kill. Otherwise, the $100 billion we spend each year due to injuries and disabilities caused by the use of our Constitutionally protected freedom-sticks will keep rising. If we shoot our guns and kill people, there will be fewer hospital costs. Like we do for deer or dogs, if we accidentally (or purposefully) injure someone with a gun, we need to put them down.

But things are moving in the right direction: “Eight states now allow firearms in bars. Law-abiding Missourians can carry a gun while intoxicated and even fire it if "acting in self-defense." In Kansas, permit holders can carry concealed weapons inside K-12 schools, and Louisiana allows them in houses of worship. Virginia not only repealed a law requiring handgun vendors to submit sales records, but the state also ordered the destruction of all such previous records. More than two-thirds of these laws were passed by Republican-controlled statehouses, though often with bipartisan support.”

We need these laws all over the nation so if you are drunk, in a church, or in a school, you can have a gun. We know how quickly people will draw their guns and how rational they are when they are drunk. And being in church and school is the best preparation to be a gun-toting hero. It’s much easier and more efficient to arm everyone than keep the mentally ill or criminals from having guns. And despite a lack of evidence, we know it’s true that arming everyone will save everyone.

Please support R.A.D.I.C.A.Ls, Republican Arms Dealers In Concert Against Liberals, and defend our gun sales.

Peace,
Tex Shelters