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Elvis Shot Kennedy

Updated on November 22, 2013

ELVIS was on that grassy knoll,

Though NO ONE

really seemed to care.

His sequins caught the light just right,

Blinding everyone in sight.

As the Presidential motorcade crept

Up that FATEFUL avenue,

Then down the park's pavilion,

Just beneath the open

Book depository window.

AMAZING, yeah... But, yeah, it's true.

ELVIS was on that overpass,

Though NO ONE paid him ANY mind.

Wearing his flashy mirrored shades,

(And his ‘gator-skin shoes from the Everglades,)

Elvis leveled that single-action rifle: POW! POW! POW!

Elvis got the three rounds off,

In barely six, or seven seconds.

AMAZING, yeah... But, yeah, it's true.

ON into that old movie house,

Mr. Elvis Aron Presley ran,

(Bought his ticket, thanked the girl...

Then quickly made a B-Line to the candy counter stand.)


"Huntin' season's open, y'all, ‘n' Aw juz bagg'd uh Kennedy!"

Yet, no one really seemed to notice,

Moreover... No one really seemed to care, that

Somewhere in the far back row was Mr. Elvis Aron Presley,

And he was simply sitting there.

His rifle, still warm, to the touch, was tucked away beneath his seat.

His rifle, still warm, to the touch, was tucked away beneath his seat!!!

Yeah, THERE's the smoking gun.

ELVIS sat amongst the shadows,

Grinning when the cops came in.

Elvis grinned as Oswald cried,

And screamed about his innocence.

"Truer whurds wuh ne'er spoken," Elvis huffed and puffed with glee.

"I'm Elvis Aron Presley, yeah...‘N' ah juz shot uh Kennedy."

© 2007.


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    • R. Martin Basso profile image

      Reid Martin Basso 9 years ago from San Francisco, CA

      Thank you Shirley. I appreciate your kind words. Sorry it took me 3 months to get around to saying thanks

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 9 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Hilarious. This is a new (and oh so plausible) theory!