ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Empowered Vaginas - America’s Future with Free Birth Control

Updated on December 14, 2018

It all started when a President named Barack Obama signed The Affordable Care Act on March 23, 2010.

The year is 2025, and the United States is in utter chaos. Sexual freedom, sexual health and sexual awareness hang heavily in the air. Nobody is safe from the empowered vaginas that roam America; the healthy, free-thinking and free-speaking vaginas. They have taken over the world, and they are in complete control.

The streets started to become dangerous back in August of 2011, when hundreds of thousands of women received letters from their insurance carriers informing them of free “preventive” services and screenings, free “well” exams, free female things, and free things for anything related to their vaginas. Women called it healthcare reform.

Month after month, more and more women joined the ranks of the new world order. You could always tell when a woman had been taken. She would stand in front of a mailbox with a pile of letters and junk mail she had dropped at her feet, holding her much-anticipated form letter high above her head, screaming with delight and with the eyes of a harlot.

It didn’t take long for open-carry laws to be rewritten. Breast pumps were at every turn of the head—offices, malls, bus stops, subway stations, restaurants. There was nothing anyone could do to stop it. Breasts could no longer be thought of as mere play-things or something to stare at for fun.

Spilled milk took on a whole new meaning, and there were many who cried over it.

The saying, "Grow a pair" was no longer appropriate; it was replaced with "Grow a vagina".

It became common to see work-place cubicles empty a half-hour before quitting time, because employees, female employees—many of them not married—claimed they had a “mammogram” or a “pap-smear” or an “OB-GYN appointment” that they needed to be at…all code words for sex or something sex-related…something to do with their vaginas.

Some of the more nervy women did it before work or took time off in the middle of the day, their vacant chairs a constant reminder to everyone in the office that they worked alongside a hussy with an empowered and oh-so-dangerous vagina.

It didn't take long for the vaginas to multiply and take over.

In the beginning, a resistance had formed in an attempt to stop the empowered vaginas from multiplying. The attempt was futile.

Vaginas would talk with other vaginas about new-found freedom, about choice, about control, about empowerment. Sometimes the vaginas would talk over a cup of coffee in Starbucks or other public places, refusing to talk in hushed whispers about themselves.

It didn’t take long for the shy, timid, and uncertain vaginas to give into peer pressure. They would suddenly show up one day to work exuding confidence, realizing that they could have control over what path they chose in their careers, their educations, their lives.

The empowered vaginas are everywhere now. They are attending reputable colleges and completing their educations on time. They are sitting in CEO chairs, they own Fortune-500 companies, they occupy the majority of seats on Boards of Directors, they outnumber their male counter-parts in Congress...and before they even hit menopause.

The empowered vaginas now refuse to be punished for being vaginas, and they have taken America by storm.

© 2011 Jenifer L


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)