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Social Climbing for Klutzes (like me)

Updated on October 22, 2011
Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom is a keen observer of life. She shares her personal experiences and opinions in helpful and often amusing ways.

Whether it's India's formal caste system or prestige based on job title, people are not created equal -- at least not socially equal.

Ever since ancient times, when primitive man looked over and saw his neighbor had a bigger cave, a bigger club, and some round device called a "wheel", humans have been coveting the things the "haves" have that they do not.

The so-called low man on the totem pole, determined to rise in stature, employs a variety of tactics to better himself. These include education, business success (legal or illicit), inheritance, marriage, or some combination.

Those lucky enough to be born into society (sometimes called "old money") go about their business taking their good fortune in stride. They barely even notice the shiny silver spoon resting comfortably between their teeth.

However, some "haves" are threatened by those who would seek to infiltrate their sacred ranks. Usually these are  the "new money" (aka "nouveau riche") who have fought long and hard to "arrive" themselves. Now that they've established their place, they guard it jealously, lest some ambitious upstart snatch their seat at the table -- or, horror of horrors -- actually surpass them in social rank!

Social Climbing as Artistic Topic

There are scores of books, films, plays, and TV shows that deal with the subject of class division.

Edith Wharton, Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Charles Dickens and any number of other authors wrote extensively about inter-class relations. Classic TV shows like "The Jeffersons," "The Beverly Hillbillies," and "The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire" portray, more or less sympathetically (and more or less humorously), what it's like to suddenly jump up several stations in life.

Films that explore what happens when disparate cultural/social worlds collide include "Trading Places", "Titanic," "My Fair Lady" and its modern adaptation "Pretty Woman." You can also choose from a plethora of takes on the "boy/girl from the wrong side of the tracks suffers class discrimination, proves to be more virtuous than rich bitch/prick romantic rival, and ends up teaching everyone a lesson in humility while winning the affections of rich beloved as well as rich beloved's snobbish parents."

Social Climbing for Dummies?

The problem with keeping up with the Joneses is that unless you are one you really don't know how to think or behave like a Jones-- at least not naturally or intuitively. Of course, with a big infusion of cash you can access worlds otherwise closed to the masses. And yes, good manners and education go a long way toward closing the gap. But can you actually "learn" to have class?

The modern TV series "Real Housewives of..." take your pick: Orange County, New York or Atlanta, proves that money alone does not a socialite make. Following the credo "Fake it till you make it" only makes these women look more fake. They are posers -- crass, potty-mouthed, debauched, overly Botoxed, anti-intellectual ninnies who personify the old saying, 'some people have more money than sense.'

Not that I'm in any position to judge social fitness, mind you, as you will read in a minute...

Join the Club

So what about the Average Joe/Josephine? It's only natural to want to better oneself and live more comfortably than one's parents did. Perhaps to acquire some symbol of luxury -- be it a boat, a vacation home, an airplane, a sports car, a sports team, an island - whatever it is that proudly proclaims, "I've arrived! I made it!!"

One very popular measure of social achievement is membership in a "club." There's something about paying exorbitant dues for the privilege of hob-nobbing with a bunch of hoity-toity boors that gets some people excited.

We'll forget for just a minute there are legitimate reasons for joining such clubs. Yes, people do conduct business on golf courses and tennis courts. Yes, the pool provides "free" babysitting for the rugrats. You may even be a bridge fanatic looking for regular noon hookups with others who share your passion. These are all fine reasons to belong to a club.

The problem with private membership clubs, unfortunately, is that in order to keep their exclusivity, they cannot accept just any Tom, Dick or Harry. Well, let me amend that. They seem to allow a disproportionate number of Dicks!

In order for club members to feel special about themselves, it is important that the riff-raff (read: perfectly normal but unspecial) be kept out.

You're no good!

Or Get Clubbed by the Club

I learned this lesson as a young girl. I learned it again just last week.

Growing up, my family lived in a commuter suburb of New York City. My neighborhood was called Strathmore Vanderbilt because all of the houses in the neighborhood were eligible (or possibly required -- I'm not sure) to belong to Strathmore Vanderbilt Country Club, aka SVCC. As luck would have it, our house backed directly onto the club grounds.

My mom could shoo us out the door at 9 a.m. and not see us again until the last game of statues or ring-a-leevio was over and the lightning bugs guided us home in the dark.

My parents were not typical country clubbers. They belonged to SVCC because they like the amenities it offered. To be perfectly honest, had they bought a house in another neighborhood, I doubt they would have gone out of their way to join a country club. Even as a young child I knew there were things that bothered them about country club life.

One year, I believe I was in 2nd grade, our class was planning its end-of-year class outing/picnic. My mother proposed SVCC. She was turned down by the SVCC community board because our class included two African American children and a Jew (who happened to be one of my best friends).

Another time, our neighbor, Mr. Kavanagh, got reprimanded for bringing a black man to SVCC to play tennis. Never mind that the man was Arthur Ashe! It was against club policy to allow people of "color."

I remember being upset. It didn't seem fair not to let my class come and swim. It was just for one afternoon! Who could it possibly hurt? At the time I didn't understand the concept of discrimination. These kids were part of our class. They should be able to do everything the rest of the class did. And as for Mr. Kavanagh, he was a really nice man and I knew would only have really nice friends. He did not deserve to be berated and humiliated that way.

This is what I call "luxury."
This is what I call "luxury."
This is not what I call luxury
This is not what I call luxury

Club life, California style

My parents moved to Marin County, California in 1978. They did not join another country club. My dad did, however, join the Marin Rod & Gun Club. This scenic little spot at the base of the San Rafael/Richmond Bridge is adjacent to San Quentin Prison. But that's not its main claim to fame. Mostly, it's a semi-ramshackle meeting place where the fishing's hit-and-miss but the $2 drinks more than make up for it.

Dad loved to walk all the way out to the end of the long ,rickety wooden pier and fish. Once in a while he even caught something. Over the years, the Marin Rod & Gun Club bacame part of our family's entertainment. We fished until Dad couldn't fish anymore (last year when he turned 85). Dad took the grandkids to the club's annual Christmas party.

When my Dad died Hubby and I thought it would be nice to keep the Marin Rod and Gun Club membership in the family. We hoped my siblings and I could pass the tradition on to our children and our children's children.

I made a special trip down to MRGC inquire. Although They said memberships could not be transferred -- even within families -- I could apply for my own membership.

The very nice and accommodating caretaker and a curmudgeonly 94-year-old named George volunteered to serve as my "sponsors."

Jumping through hoops

I wrote a check for $150 ($75 application fee and $75 first year's dues). I submitted my application. They cashed my check right away -- a good sign!

A week later, literally as I was driving to my father-in-law's memorial service (with my mother-in-law in the car with me), I received a call from a guy named Tom. Tom informed me that I would need to be interviewed for membership. I wasn't sure if he intended to grill me right then on the phone (and his demeanor gave no clue). I explained that now wasn't an ideal time. He didn't even offer condolences or anything. In hindsight, that should have been my first clue...

The following Sunday Hubby and I drove the 70+ miles down to Marin for my big interrogation.

There were 6 applicants total. I was the only female at the table. Tom led the session. He didn't really interview us as much as just told us the rules and regs of MRGC.

He also said something interesting. More than once, actually. He seemed to have some confusion about whose father was the member (mine). He strongly suggested that we put our membership in my husband's name, not mine. Because we were so focused on preserving my dad's name (which also happens to be my last name) we didn't pay much attention.

At the conclusion of the session he told us the Board of Directors would be voting on each applicant at their April 1st meeting. I pointedly asked how often the Board rejected a candidate for membership. He responded, "Not very often, but once in awhile they blackball someone."


What a vicious word -- blackballed. Stronger and more mean-spirited than a simple rejection. Reminds me of blacklisting during the McCarthy era.

But that was certainly the term Tom used. Blackball.

I never in a million years dreamed it would apply to me! 

Long haired freaky people need not apply

The wrong part? Or wrong parts?

Two days before the 17th, a letter arrived from MRGC. I assumed it contained more specific details about the induction ceremony,

Instead, it said, "Based on objections raised by several members, the Board has decided to reject your application for membership."

Objections? What objections? Several board members? How many is several? Who are these members, and what could they possibly have against me?

I pictured a bunch of snooty old farts tanked up on $2 G&Ts talking smack about me behind my back.

"Her father was a decent sort. Good soul. But that's no guarante that she's worthy."

"Makes no sense. Why would someone want to join a club in Marin County when they live 75 miles away -- in Sacramento, no less? We don't want no cow-towners down here. This is brie, chablis and hot tub country, dammit!"

"This whole thing smells fishy to me. She wants the membership kept in her father's name. She's married, but she kept her maiden name? No, no, that just's just wrong. She sounds like some kind of women's libber to me."

It's also possible that they did a little online reconnaissance on me. All they'd have to do is check out some of my forum and hub posts on gun control to know I'm no Second Amendment purist. Charlton Heston (God rest his soul) was not exactly my hero.

I did try to get further clarification from MRGC, but came up empty. That leaves me with the two most logical explanations. It's either a blatant case of sexism, or I'm viewed as geographically undesirable -- a term I've only heard used in terms of dating and relationships, but I suppose it could apply here.

Hit the road, Jack's daughter!

Even Grouch Marx got accepted!


Do I even wanna know?

I could not believe my eyes. I felt like I was sucker-punched. Hubby was livid. We both feel MRGC's decision is as much a slap in my Dad's face as mine. And I know exactly what dear old Dad would say: "Forget it." (That's the Jack R version of "f#%@ them.)

As for me, the sting of rejection is fading. Slowly. Whatever their rationale might be, I don't want to know it. I don't want to hear that I should have been a son rather than a daughter. I don't need to be told I live in a second tier city, that Bay Area folks wouldn't be caught dead dropping their lines in San Francisco Bay next to mine.

My application to MRGC was never about fishing my way into Marin County society. It was strictly about preserving a family tradition.

Oh well. It didn't work out. MRGC caught me, reeled me in, then threw me back.

I'll find another way to honor my dad. In the meantime, I've learned a valuable lesson. Always swim with my own kind, only my own kind.


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    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Dear Anon. Thank you for your comment. It sure is a small world here on the Internet! SVCC was/is a wonderful place to grow up. Your children are lucky!

      More in the "small world" dept, out here in California, my siblings have reconnected with yet another childhool friend from SVCC. Much reminiscing about good times and nice people!

      Thanks for visiting.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Just so you can rest easily...I grew up in Strathmore-Vanderbilt, too. (Mr. Kavanagh WAS a nice man, and his wife, Mary, an exceptional woman!) After I married, my husband and I raised our children there. What you experienced (and what I experienced, too, as a child) certainly changed by the time I was an adult. Times have changed and, thankfully, most neighborhood-governed clubs have, too. Enjoyed your blog!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I tend to avoid clubs as well as I have found in life people eventually let you down with no exceptions. People cant help themselves, so for me I avoid clubs, great read !

    • goldentoad profile image


      9 years ago from Free and running....

      I avoid clubs, something about a pack of people bothers me.

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Tom, Christoph and May -- thanks for being supporters. I totally agree. Hub Pages is the best club in the universe. Let me know if any of you ever want to go fishing:-).

    • mayhmong profile image


      9 years ago from North Carolina

      Now I don't feel so bad for not joining any clubs except for hub page.

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 

      9 years ago from St. Louis

      As Groucho said, "I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member." There's a deeper meaning to that than the humor of it.

      As for me, I wouldn't belong to any club that wouldn't have you as a member.

    • Tom Rubenoff profile image

      Tom rubenoff 

      9 years ago from United States

      I don't understand the social status B.S., like somebody is better than somebody else. I doesn't make any sense to me.

      Honoring your dad is a great sentiment. I'm sure you'll find a much better way.

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Hi BP, Yes, that is me. I am departing on a cruise to Mexico -- it's a couple of years old. Before Mexico became associated with swine flu. Although I must say, our nephew and son make complete "piggies" of themselves -- they discovered room service was "free" and they worked that system bigtime:-). Thanks for the comment. The evil clown avatar was too creepy and only a few people "got" the reference...

      Maggs224, thank you as well. I appreciate your kind words. I realize that my feelings were hurt much more by the way this news was delivered to me than the news itself. I'm healing from the rejection but will not be applying for any club memberships anytime --- ever!!

    • maggs224 profile image


      9 years ago from Sunny Spain

      What an excellent hub, you write in such an interesting way, I could relate to so much of what you were feeling. Rejection wounds tend to heal slow and unfortunately there are many people out there that love to infict these wounds. If I had a club I would love you as a member

    • blondepoet profile image


      9 years ago from australia

      MM is this you in your new avatar. I love this new avatar.

    • tdarby profile image


      9 years ago

      Very interesting. It is incredible how much "happens behind the scenes" as it were. Thanks for the insight into your experiences with this.

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 

      9 years ago from Manila, Philippines


      This was a very enlightening read! I myself often gets lost in the dynamics of the mostly unspoken but seen social divides. But I have learned a long time ago to play the fields safely. When in Rome, I do as the Romans do. Or if not, allow another cliché please, I get out of the kitchen when's its too hot for me. Rejection is a cruel thing, no matter how aware you are of your true worth. So it is wise to avoid it like the plague if possible. :D

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Dear DynamicS,

      You raise a good point. I really was only doing this for my Hubby. I fear that I would have felt sad everytime I went to MRGC because it would remind me of my dad. Things work out the way they are supposed to, don't they!

      But I am concerned about your description of being a person who deals with rejection on a daily basis -- what are you, a telemarketer or something? I'm kidding. But seriously, from your writing here, you are definitely NOT at the bottom of the totem pole. You have good insights and I appreciate your comments.

      BTW, if you have whining to do, HP is a great place to do it!! You will have a built in audience for your "complaints":-). Thanks for visiting. MM

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Mighty Mom, look at the positive, you may not have enjoyed your membership to this snobbish elitist club. As a person who deals with rejection on a daily basis, a person at the bottom of the totem pole, a person who would be not be invited for an interview in the first place, it is refreshing to hear from someone else - that way I can justify my whining... Just putting it in perspective.

      Go might mom!

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      P.S. Long live the king? F the king. I want to be the QUEEN, dammit!

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Hello Mark. Wow. That is quite an analysis. You are right about discrimination everywhere. Families are totally not immune! And rebelling rejected masses -- not just in The Tudors anymore!!

      Thanks for visiting and the cool insights. MM

    • MarkHall profile image

      Mark Halliday 

      9 years ago from Australia

      I love this hub. Life is like this on so many levels. Whenever humans organize themeslves into groups, discrimination is sure to manifest. It even occurs in family groups, where a parent or relative favors one child over another.

      Which is why the rejected masses often rebel much to the bafflement of those who would look down upon them.

      Discrimination abounds - long live the King!

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Ledefensetech, It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. Thanks for visiting and commenting. I appreciate your wise words. So right on the money.

      I absolutely agree with you about the rational, well-adjusted people not needing status symbols. The women I went to college (Wellesley) with are truly the most unassuming -- yet innately powerful and talented -- of any group I know. They have no need for status symbols. Whenever I feel the sting of rejection like this, I remember that money can't buy brains! LOL.

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      BP -- Tell you about my idiosyncrasies? Sounds like a hub in the making! How much time you got? LOL! Good for you for reading the dictionary. I anticipate some spirited word play later tonight:-)!!

      Amanda, I will have to check out "Outliers." Maybe I could learn something and become an "inlier" LOL!

      RGraf -- You always say the sweetest, most poignant things. You totally get why this hurt me so much. Thank you!

      Flamingoes -- I love the idea of the self-designed aura and creating one's own club. Thanks!

      Shibashake -- Oh boy, do I know parents like you describe! My family is at that stage where it's all about what the kids are up to -- what sports they are playing/excelling at, what private school they got accepted to, etc. I just let the prattle on. That is so far out of my worldview. But it's important to them, so I let them have it.

      I agree, too, about the reverse elitism. I had to laugh at people who complained about Obama going to Harvard Law. Say WHAT!!!???

      Thanks, as always, for stopping in to visit. MM

    • ledefensetech profile image


      9 years ago from Cape Girardeau, MO

      Honestly, it doesn't really matter. It was a nice gesture that you wanted to keep the membership as a memorial to your father, but it seems the club didn't think the same way. That's their loss and it tells you a lot about the people in the club. In that case, they really don't need your dues do they?

      There are always going to be people who are prejudiced, snobby and think that they are better than everyone else. No laws, customs or much of anything is going to change that. The one positive in all of this is that we have the freedom to choose who we spend time with and who we don't. Rational, well-adjusted people don't need status symbols, those are mostly for people who are insecure and immature. They never got past the schoolyard developmentally.

    • shibashake profile image


      9 years ago

      Hi MM, I really enjoyed your hub and this is a great topic.

      Social elitism exists everywhere. I suppose it is just a matter of degree and type. Nowadays people are so angry about social elitism that you have reverse social elitism, which is really just another type of social elitism :)

      I have many friends who are into social climbing, and in fact, I am also related to several people who seem to enjoy it as an activity. When I was growing up, it was a big social pastime of some of the adults to do social climbing through their children.

      "My daughter got 8 A's"; "Oh my son got 9 A's and he is a son!" - lol

      Although I personally dislike this kind of thing, I am sure that sometimes, I also do it unconsciously. I think "social climbing" is a human quality; it is part of our evolutionary DNA.

      Still, type and degree *do* matter, and the club displayed an extreme case of both.

      Thanks for sharing your story with us :)

    • flamingoes profile image


      9 years ago from Mumbai

      I guess the greatest thing one can do to oneself is to create ones own aura and be true to oneself. Then it doesn't become essential to join any club but to strive to design ones own club...

    • RGraf profile image

      Rebecca Graf 

      9 years ago from Wisconsin

      my heart goes out to you. I know that I would have felt the same way. My father was an avid fisherman and fished until he could no longer hold a rod.

      Remember that is their loss!

    • Amanda Severn profile image

      Amanda Severn 

      9 years ago from UK

      Hi MightyMom

      I was watching a TV cop programme set in 80s Britain last night (Ashes to Ashes) and the episode was about the Freemasons. Now I turn on Hubpages and read about more clubs and elitism! I guess what it all adds up to is that there is strata in society whether we like it or not. Recently I read Malcom Gladwell's book 'Outliers' and there's some really great insights in it, as to how the wealthier classes perpetuate the cycle. It's not just about going to the right schools and meeting the right people, although that's a big part of it. It's more to do with constant and continual grooming and provision of opportunity, right from organising a plethora of after-schools clubs, helping with homework projects, and introducing your kids to a wide variety of experiences, through to celebrating their every tiny success and always being positive about their achievements. I've probably over-simplified that. You'll have to read the book. But there is a difference between them and us, and it's as much about attitude as it is about bucks in the bank.

      People can't help their prejudices because they're bred into them, but it's great when we can rise above our backgrounds and learn to be decent and fair to everyone wherever they're from.

    • blondepoet profile image


      9 years ago from australia

      Hahahah MM ooooo I like your reasoning. Yes it is very true a smart woman is very sexy I have spent the entire day studying my Webster Dictionary I am currently am up to Page 335. I will show you what I learnt in a trick question here. "MM tell me about your idiosyncrasies".jajajajajaja

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      LOL, BP! Well, I have to have some unique charm or talent to lure unsuspecting (ha!) men like Blue away from the likes of you and Cindy:-). In my twisted little brain big words equate to big.... whatever anyone fancies!

      As for the new avatar, it does go with the clown in Dr. Know-it-All's hub. But I selected it based on a conversation thread in the Forums about how do you know if a hubber is sane or not!

    • blondepoet profile image


      9 years ago from australia

      MM darn you are so smart,where do you find all these big words,you are a great writer.And I love that new avatar it goes with Blue's story what is the white at the sides of your mouth LMAO. x0x0x0

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      If you're in a position where fishing from a boat could help feed your family then, by all means, having a boat, or access to one, would be justified.

      The way things look about now, pretty soon it will be back to basics for most of us whether we like it or not!

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Hi Lisa HW -- I'm pretty much of a social outsider myself. I never really thought of this place as a "club" so much as just a place to go and fish. Guess God was laughing and pointing me to the two very fine and FREE rivers in my home town!

      CWB -- Agree with you there. I've never considered a boat even a want, let alone a need. But to me, spending $75 a year -- plus the cost of the fishing license (which I would need to fish anywhere in the state) would be a good investment. If we could get even a meal's worth of halibut out of it, that would be a good ROI. Oh well, back to basics for me! Thanks for the reminder!!!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      The only person who NEEDS a boat is the village fisherman. That’s oversimplified but you get my point.

      We need to learn to differentiate between needs and wants, what is necessary and what is superfluous.

    • Lisa HW profile image

      Lisa HW 

      9 years ago from Massachusetts

      MightyMom, good Hub. I've always pretty much stayed away from all clubs (elite or otherwise) all my life because I know that if it calls itself a club I probably don't fit in. :) I like my socialization on a more one-to-one basis. :)

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Elena, Pam and Cindy -- Thanks for your support. I was so shocked. This club seemed anything but snooty to me. But I guess anywhere that requires you to be "sponsored" to get in must have its own code.

      Elena -- Crappy ranks, indeed! Or maybe "crappie" ranks (see, I do know something about fish:-).

      Pam -- Absolutely you should write about this! It has all the makings of a Classic Pam Rant. The very concept of homeowners associations makes me cringe. Narrow-minded, insecure little people exerting imaginary power over a bunch of sheep. Did you see the case on the news (CNN) -- a young female veteran wanted to fly the US flag in her front yard but it was against the rules.

      Cindy -- LOL, girlfriend. You wrote "hubs" but did you mean "hubs" or "clubs"? Either way -- I like your thinking! Thanks!!

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 

      9 years ago from Cape Town

      Excellent MM, those elitist hubs should be boycotted. With no money coming in they won't be able to blackball people!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Wow, this brought so many memories back, the most recent of which just happened Saturday, when Bill & spent all day breaking down some lumber and stacking it carefully according to local codes to please the new minimansion subdivision that now backs up to our wooded acre. We also had to remove a wagon that was half buried out in the woods--it was there when we moved in. I think it's been there for 50 years. Mind you, it's almost impossible to SEE any of this stuff--but the nouveau riche anal yuppie pricks who live next to us (five yards back up to ours) tried to buy our property before we did. They wanted to tear down the house and be insulated from the tacky old world by an acre of nothing. They hate that we exist. It's not like we're pigs either. We live in a modest house on a wooded acre, but it's not one of those three garage manicured lawn get out the leaf blower if a pine cone hits your grass kinda houses.

      Man, I've got to take those photos and do a hub on this...

      But anyhoo, it also reminded me of where I grew up as a kid. The kids from the white collar neighborhood weren't allowed to come to our house because it 'wasn't safe.' So I could only visit THEM.

      You're better off out of the that country club. There's something so horrible about this. Now you've got ME going...

      Great hub! Thank you for sharing.

    • Elena. profile image


      9 years ago from Madrid

      Mighty, I SO enjoyed this article! Not because of what happened to you, mind, but because you covered social climbing and snobbery so accurately and FUNNILY! This MRGC story is so out there, it's difficult to believe how these things happen, really. Guess you're way better off with their rejection instead of joining such crappy ranks!

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Thanks, Tony. You're a pal.

      Teresa -- I'm getting this visual of a bunch of people drinking tea with their pinkies in the air trying to cover their southern accents with British accents. No wonder they kept you away from their soirees. You would have seen through their pathetic efforts in a heartbeat. Then again, maybe they are so ignorant that they don't even know Anglophile covers Irish as well as English. Tee hee!

    • Teresa McGurk profile image


      9 years ago from The Other Bangor

      I found out quite by accident that in the area where I have lived now for 16 years on the coast of South Carolina there is a group of British/Irish/Anglophile Americans who all meet weekly or monthly or whatever and drink tea or be British or something. They knew early on that I was from Belfast, but decided (apparently) that I was not fit to join their soirees. So several folk I know suddenly used to get vague in conversations occasionally about where they had been or where they had met whomever it was they were discussing. When I found out what I had been excluded from all these years, I threw back my head and laughed out loud. I'm with Groucho Marx on this one!

    • tony0724 profile image


      9 years ago from san diego calif

      MM snobs live In a small world . You are better off anyway . They treated you that way , think about how they probably treat each other . You are better than that .

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Hey . there, K@ri, FP and Shalini -- Couldn't agree more with what each of you say. In my day-to-day life I stay as far away from snobs and snobbery as possible. I know who I am and what I've got and what I've done. Joneses don't impress me.

      The funny thing with this is that it's not some high end country club -- it's a damned fishing and shooting club. For goodness sakes, what's so elite about cutting up sardines and getting full of fish guts to try to snag a halibut but more often pulling in a stingray or leopard shark!!??

      People are so funny. It's so true about getting feelings of superiority from belonging to an elite group. I love what you said, K@ri about being excluded because you refused to exclude. Makes me wonder if those friends ever learned their lesson...

    • Shalini Kagal profile image

      Shalini Kagal 

      9 years ago from India

      For some, it comes from a fear of seeing what is familiar passing away and in order to cling on to the vestiges of what they know and what identifies them, they can be pretty vicious. No - it should not be condoned but it does happen especially if people are not self made but get their feeling of superiority from what they perceive as belonging to an elite group.

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 

      9 years ago

      As long as there are people out there, you'll come up against some sort of snobbery everywhere. According to me it's more a feeling of insecurity on the part of the perpetrator than a feeling of superiority. You'd do best to ignore it.

    • k@ri profile image

      Kari Poulsen 

      9 years ago from Ohio

      I do not understand the need for elitism. I guess I could never think like a Jones. I have never agreed with exclusion as a way to feel special. I lost more than a few friends because of this. When I wouldn't exclude, I was excluded. Fine with me, since they had lost my respect.

      I can hang with them if need be. (I know which fork to use!) I just can't stand the constant materialism that is involved. I hate the gossip and back stabbing that is needed for some to feel good about themselves. I know if they do it in front of me, they are doing it behind my back also.

      I'm with your Dad, Forget it (code included!).


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