Fairy Tale Sunday
Harlotte Spins Us Breakfast
Good Morning, Breakfastpoppers. Today is Sunday, February 26, 2017, and it's time for a fairy tale. Our creative friend, Spider Harlotte, is weaving us breakfast and a tale. The Kingdom is under siege. The crazies are lurking about trying to undermine our new leadership. Thankfully, our King has things under control, so we need not dismay. Harlotte wants to tell us all a story about the latest events in our land. She will be preparing luscious banana bread for our enjoyment. I will be serving a fine breakfast ale to add to the pleasure. Won't you join us this morning? Please gather by the Capitol Building and get caught up on life in the Kingdom of Trump.
Thank you all for joining us this morning. There is news to share. Sit down and partake of your bread and ale and let me entertain you with the latest happenings in our troubled, but beloved Kingdom. In case you missed the announcement from the province of California, be forewarned that a travel ban has been issued. Those of you residing in the province and attending public university will be prohibited from traveling to "anti-LBGT" states. The decree went into effect on the first of January. Unlucky students attending school at the University of California and California State University cannot avail themselves of state-funded money to pay for these forays into hostile territory, no matter how worthwhile the trip may be. The ban points to four specific states. You can forget about Kansas, Mississippi, North Carolina and Tennessee. Students, your Kingdom just got smaller and you can thank the screwed up powers in your province. Students at UC Davis were planning on attending an undergraduate research conference in Tennessee. UC Davis was going to pay for the trip, but alas the law is the law and it shall prevail. Needless to say, many California students are just fine with the ban, because they consider the states mentioned to be backward. At times life in our beloved Kingdom is bizarre, and this is certainly one of those times.
Fellow citizens, the police in Northampton, Mass. learned a lesson when it comes to dealing with the super sensitive among us. A wonderful practice was initiated that declared that once a month officers would go to an elementary school at the beginning of the day and high-five the kids and wish them a great day. The kids liked it, but of course, concerns were raised by the adults. The anxiety surrounding the practice centered around children of color, undocumented children or any children who may have had a bad police encounter. Keep in mind that we are talking about the Kingdom's elementary schools. I never knew any kid in elementary school with a rap sheet, but then, I am just a bug. In any case, as you might expect the pilot program has gone bye-bye. The squeaky ones in the Kingdom always get the oil these days, and that my dear friends, is a shame. I have a strong feeling that our new King may shake things up a bit. Won't that be refreshing!
This One Ends Nicely
And now my dear fellow citizens comes news of a happening that actually worked out. The tale begins with students at Dinwiddie High School in Virginia. School authorities ordered those students who had the audacity to display American flags on their trucks to remove them forthwith. One student was yanked out of class and ordered to get rid of the Kingdom's flag. He did as he was told, but word spread through the school after a reporter posted the story on Facebook. Students rose to the occasion and returned to school the following day with flags flying from their trucks. It was a show of patriotism and a very good response to the schools idiotic claim that a parked vehicle with a flag on the back impaired the vision of the driver. The driver was actually in class and the flag was outside. Clearly, the school was afraid of that always present squeaky wheel and they caved and behaved badly. The happy ending came when residents of the community raised their collective voices, and forced the school to drop the ban. Hooray for the good guys, my fellow citizens. Let common sense and freedom prevail in the Kingdom.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice
To control citizens of the Kingdom
And force them to think one way
And one way only
Let freedom ring!