Great Britain: Likes and Dislikes in 2019

What's to Like and Dislike in Great Britain.
Having been an ex. pat. most of my life and only reluctantly returning to the UK in 2003, for love and a pension! It seems, as we are trying to extricate ourselves from Europe, there is much to dislike about this trampled little group of islands, along with much that can be enjoyed and admired.
First, the title of this 'farticle (coined from Carrie Duncan of the Gringo Gazette) leads me into listing the negative stuff first. I mean, "Great Britain!" In regards to size, it's not great anymore having lost 92% of the land mass that may have once encouraged the sobriquet when we gave away the Empire. And in reference to its quality, the things that once might have been described as "great" have long been left behind by 2019. I mean our bravery in two huge wars, and more uncounted in our antiquity, along with the sacrifices of our allies. British inventions over the last several hundred years make up more than 50% of what the world uses today.

Our literature, from Shakespeare, to the great earlier poets, is a remarkable collection. And our museums and galleries are the equal of top venues anywhere. Great architecture through the centuries; the most intensive agriculture anywhere; our once renowned ship building, mining and steel works, the last three mentioned long swept away now. And this is just to touch on what made Britain great, indeed.

This awful dirge of a national anthem, "God save the queen." Not to criticise our ageing monarch - she didn't pen the thing, and we don't know who did unless it was a John Bull. Many attempts to improve the wording have been made over the years and quite frankly I don't know how her majesty and family can sit there absorbing the stultifying praises, jingoism and wearying orchestration.
One of the more amusing rewrites was by an American living in France in 1794: he had the first line - as it is now, "God save our gracious queen" changed to "God save the guillotine!" (see Wiki for the rest). Who said the cuzzies have no sense of humor?

British food and service.

The English, Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish who make up the British nationality are not renowned for providing great service: not in most restaurants, not the hotels, not anywhere in fact. Right British Rail? The most expensive in Europe and perhaps the worst.
The British still can't cook. With certain exceptions, eating out is an expensive and disheartening experience. Even lunch and a coffee in a "greasy spoon" can cost around $15 US each, a three- course meal for two in a better class establishment, with wine, service charges and tips won't leave much change out of $100. Few diners will walk away beaming after the cheque and the aftertaste.

British Rail inefficient and overpriced

Back to our rail service, once a national pride and envy of other countries. I stood next to a chap in the line at a station booking office once (they are mostly redundant now...you figure out how to use the machines). I watched in horror as he counted out £50 pound notes to make a total of £1050 pounds for a season ticket from Wimbledon to Central London, a distance of about 20 miles - and this was 15 years ago....it has got really expensive since then! But at least trains are often dirty, late, without refreshments, or cancelled without warning.

Our "beloved" NHS

Another standbye of life here that was once "great," the British National Health Service. It has become almost unfit for purpose today. Overwhelmed by the influx of foreigners legally entitled to use the clinics and hospitals, just because they are here, along with home-grown sufferers who clog up the surgeries with minor complaints, or mums with chariot-like prams containg tots who threw up their breakfasts. The Tory government throws more billions to the vast system every year trying to fix the multitudes of woes such as lazy, high priced professionals, nurses leaving, patients having to wait months for operations. This reporter has been trying to get hearing aids for 6 months...it would take the rest of this article to record the comedy of errors that have caused this. (the first being a doctor said "go to Boots or Specsavers as our audio test machine is broken, then bring the test back!")
A stay in a NHS hospital can be an experience that would have had Kafka diving for his quill and parchment. For this urinary tract infection sufferer last year, it was a 5-week nightmare.

Heck, where's the sun gone again!

The...wait for it...w.e.a.t.h.e.r! Yes, British weather lives up to its infamous name and it's not Great! Having been used to Australian, Californian and Mexican climate for 40 years coming back to a place without visible sunshine most of the year was a cruel awakening.

Brits say, "The sun is struggling to come out." It is "Trying to break through." Meanwhile, it is either "spitting," drizzling, "showering," or "coming down like cats and dogs." Eh? I don't know.
Actually, it's quite a mild climate compared to countries with really severe weather. Its just damp, grey, dull and spiritless most of the year. Ask the fully dressed folk sitting behind the wind barriers on resort beaches all over the UK. And this can be in high Spring! ("ne'er cast a clout 'fore May is out"). Sound advice in Britain...Brrrrr!
The British people. This is a hard one for me, 'cause I'm one too, although rather Americanized. Well, I would find it hard to agree with Hemingway who said, "the Spanish and the best of the British are the best people in the world." I actually get on better with Mexicans and North Americans: more laid-back, less law abiding (to a fault), but this race tends to be intelligent and often well read, (seeing shepherds taking books to the hills with the sheep will aurprise you!...oh, its ewe not you that reads?)
The British will often be able to recite snatches of Shakespeare, Kipling, Wordsworth and more...but few will have read deeply of these literary icons. In fact, reading in modern Britain seems to be a forgotten art, expecially among the youger generation. We must thank the Internet for that I suppose.
Othere Irritants
Changing the clocks twice a year
The choked, potholed B roads and dangerous motorways
The miserable experience of air travel (everywhere now)
Shops inundated with shoddy, ill-fitting Chinese clothing
The legal and quasi-legal, or outright bent scams everywhere
The costs of petrol, tax and insurance (the last, criminal) to run a modest car
The monotonous towns with the one-way systems and supermarkets, (we watch as products shrink in size and rise in prices constantly)
Westminster: all of the roughly 1200 MP's in the Commons, the most ineffective and self-serving we have had in this nation's history. Anyone watching our struggles with Brexit and Europe at the moment can be no less than disgusted and appalled.
The cost of housing, both to buy and to rent, and the shoddiness of modern construction methods...none of these Gerry-built homes will outlast their mortgages.
Some Redeeming Features
Well, there's more of the above, and some of this is everywhere in the Third Millennium...let's go on to something we do like in poor old, beleagured Great Britain
Despite the threat of terrorism, a sense of security - fading, but still in force. Decency amongst police and other officials, and much less racism than most other large populations. Political correctness, often maligned, but the only way to control emotions in such a crowded citizenry.
And the other cheek for the NHS. Hope you don't have to use it, but it is there for major illness and life-saving emergencies: far better for the big stuff than the niggling complaints (who wants to hear better anyway, lot of tripe people talk...especially on the News!).
The BBC. You can say what you like about "Auntie," but the beeb puts out stunning documentaries. And if you can afford that "black hole" of broadcasters, Sky TV, (yes, cuzzies, we know it's all yours now...stop being so greedy!) we get wonderful coverage of my life-blood, SPORTS!
Lots online these days if you wanna bit of fun, too. I couldn't believe "youporn" can you? Not to mention casino gambling and the state lotteries (careful, I spent £220 for no return over the last 3 months on Lotto!).
The pubs. Not what they used to be when beer was 10 cents a pint, (now about 3 quid), but still establishments unique to Britain, (they don't work anywhere else). British pub operators are Philistine in character, but many old pubs are lovely places to be on a winter's night with the log fire.
Fish 'n' Chips...a nation's standby but rarely great any more since the Turks, etc., took over the fryers.
We're now a cafe society. Britain has much to thank Europe for over the last 40 years is it? Perhaps the most obvious are the cafes and coffee shops which have sprung up everywhere. Before this, Britain's coffee was either Nescafe brewed at home, or a species of diluted and burned mud served in restaurants.
Now, even the greasy spoons make a good cup of "joe," although tea was better before tea bags. Win some, loose some.

The weather again?

. Yes, two sides to Britain's most discussed feature.
There is nothing more beautiful in Old England than when the Daffodils bloom everywhere, must be planted by saints. Even the field of rape and the delightful apple and cherry blossom, along with the bluebells and lilacs along country lanes. Rooks and jackdaws caw and cling to treetops in March and April breezes as they repair the nests which have been there many years.
And we can see our lovely girls have human bodies under all that heavy clothing! Shame there's so many portly ones. Break out your non-PC wolf-whistle!
So much to say about the UK, which is why more books and maps, etc., have been published about Britain than anywhere. And it's very much just a "sip of a complex broth" to publish articles about the place. But, heck, nothing else to do while I wait for Formula One practice on Sky TV.
Most of our readers have visited the UK...hope we have something else to thrill you after we spurn Europe!