Social Issues: Don't Judge Me

My life is difficult enough without the judgment you have made of me. Was it something I said or the way I look? Could it have been the condition of my boots? I know they are worn and ugly, with holes in the soles but have you walked a mile in them? Do you know where these boots have been? Let me tell you, these boots have been places and seen things that would make you cry. These boots have witnessed horror that is unspeakable. These boots have walked in the desert when the temperature seemed unbearable. But these boots took me to my buddies who were being ambushed and these old boots helped me bring them home safe and whole. Would you, if you could, stand as proudly in these old boots as I do?

Go ahead, put on your high dollar sneakers or your dancing shoes and tell me how much more important you are than me. Open your closet and take a good look. Where have your designer shoes taken you that these old boots can’t go? And for a moment, would you pause in your judgment and ask if your shoes could carry you where I have been? I am a soldier and these old worn out boots, with holes in their soles, are the stuff soldiers are made of. I am tough and I will protect you when the going gets rough but I am like these old boots, there is a hole in my soul.

You know nothing about me and yet you have made the judgment that I don't fit anywhere. You say I'm not black and I'm not white and you know what? You're right. I don't fit anywhere. My skin is darker than your white friends and lighter than your black co-workers. I am chocolate, milk chocolate and some think I am beautiful. But not you. Oh no, you think that because I am bi-racial, a mix of my mother's beautifully rich African ancestry and my father's blue-eyed, blonde, Canadian roots, that I am a freak. How can you be so cold?

Look at me. I have many talents. You should see my art, the paintings that express the abstract beauty that I see in the world. Oh yes, I see color. I see that you are white and that I am milk chocolate. But I do not treat you badly because you are different than me. Your bias is the only reason that we aren't friends. I wish you were the only one but that's not the case. I'm too black for my white classmates and too white for the others. Most of my time is spent alone so - I paint. The canvas doesn't judge. It embraces color - all the colors.

Do you really think I don’t hear your laughter when you make the judgment that I am fat? If only you knew how hard it is. I’m not blind. I see me in the mirror and I know I’m not perfect. You don’t pick me for your team in sports and you don’t even want to sit beside me in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. Why do you think I’m there? I want to be thin like you but my hormones are messed up. Diets haven’t helped and the deteriorating bones prevent me from doing enough exercise. The medicine I take just keeps putting the pounds on. I cry at night but you wouldn’t know that, would you?

You just don’t know what’s like to be me. I can’t wear Gucci jeans like you and short sleeves show how flabby my arms are. You would just laugh and make more fun of me, so I hide them, Sometimes when I’m alone I think about killing myself but cutting myself all the time is hard enough. It helps to let the pain out. Can you imagine living like this? No, I doubt that you can. I’m 23 years old and I’ve never had a date. Your laughter hurt so bad that I was afraid to try. While you sit in the restaurant eating all you want, I sit here alone with my tears, wishing I was you. But you don’t know that because you’ve never even spoken to me.

When you’re criticizing others
And are finding here and there
A fault or two to speak of
Or a weakness you can’t bear.
When you’re blaming someone’s weakness
Or accusing one of pelf–
It’s time that you went out
To take a walk around yourself.

There are lots of human failures
In the average of us all,
And lots of grave shortcomings
In the short ones and the tall.
But when we think of evils
Men should lay upon the shelves,
It’s time we all went out
To take a walk around ourselves.

We need so often in this life
This balancing of scales,
This seeing how much in us wins,
And how much in us fails;
But before you judge another
Just to lay him on the shelf–
It would be a splendid plan
To take a walk around yourself.

How many of us go about our daily routine and make the judgment that others are not worthy of our friendship? How many times have we looked at the man wearing those old boots and thought "I wouldn't be caught dead wearing those in public."? How many times have we judged someone by the color of their skin but never took the time to even say hello? And yes, how many of us have judged the person who is overweight, stepping around them so as not to get too close, as if fat was contagious?

Every person we encounter has a story but in order for us to understand, we have to be willing to tear down the walls that separate us from those that are different. The man with worn out boots could be a soldier or a construction worker. Both jobs are important. The girl with milk chocolate skin didn't choose her family, she was born into it. She chose to see color as something beautiful in spite of the prejudice she has experienced. And the boy who is overweight might have a heart of gold. If you were dying and needed CPR, would you refuse it because he is fat?

These are choices we make every day when we make the judgment that one person is less important or less valuable based on what we perceive with our eyes. If we could look beyond and see with our hearts; see through the real eyes of love for humanity, we just might be surprised at how different our own life would be. Open your eyes. Let go of the judgment. Take a little walk around yourself.

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