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Social Issues: Don't Judge Me

Updated on November 5, 2014

Don't Judge Me By My Appearance

My life is difficult enough without the judgment you have made of me. Was it something I said or the way I look? Could it have been the condition of my boots? I know they are worn and ugly, with holes in the soles but have you walked a mile in them? Do you know where these boots have been? Let me tell you, these boots have been places and seen things that would make you cry. These boots have witnessed horror that is unspeakable. These boots have walked in the desert when the temperature seemed unbearable. But these boots took me to my buddies who were being ambushed and these old boots helped me bring them home safe and whole. Would you, if you could, stand as proudly in these old boots as I do?

Go ahead, put on your high dollar sneakers or your dancing shoes and tell me how much more important you are than me. Open your closet and take a good look. Where have your designer shoes taken you that these old boots can’t go? And for a moment, would you pause in your judgment and ask if your shoes could carry you where I have been? I am a soldier and these old worn out boots, with holes in their soles, are the stuff soldiers are made of. I am tough and I will protect you when the going gets rough but I am like these old boots, there is a hole in my soul.

Don't Judge Me By The Color Of My Skin

You know nothing about me and yet you have made the judgment that I don't fit anywhere. You say I'm not black and I'm not white and you know what? You're right. I don't fit anywhere. My skin is darker than your white friends and lighter than your black co-workers. I am chocolate, milk chocolate and some think I am beautiful. But not you. Oh no, you think that because I am bi-racial, a mix of my mother's beautifully rich African ancestry and my father's blue-eyed, blonde, Canadian roots, that I am a freak. How can you be so cold?

Look at me. I have many talents. You should see my art, the paintings that express the abstract beauty that I see in the world. Oh yes, I see color. I see that you are white and that I am milk chocolate. But I do not treat you badly because you are different than me. Your bias is the only reason that we aren't friends. I wish you were the only one but that's not the case. I'm too black for my white classmates and too white for the others. Most of my time is spent alone so - I paint. The canvas doesn't judge. It embraces color - all the colors.

Don't Judge Me Because I'm Fat

Do you really think I don’t hear your laughter when you make the judgment that I am fat? If only you knew how hard it is. I’m not blind. I see me in the mirror and I know I’m not perfect. You don’t pick me for your team in sports and you don’t even want to sit beside me in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. Why do you think I’m there? I want to be thin like you but my hormones are messed up. Diets haven’t helped and the deteriorating bones prevent me from doing enough exercise. The medicine I take just keeps putting the pounds on. I cry at night but you wouldn’t know that, would you?

You just don’t know what’s like to be me. I can’t wear Gucci jeans like you and short sleeves show how flabby my arms are. You would just laugh and make more fun of me, so I hide them, Sometimes when I’m alone I think about killing myself but cutting myself all the time is hard enough. It helps to let the pain out. Can you imagine living like this? No, I doubt that you can. I’m 23 years old and I’ve never had a date. Your laughter hurt so bad that I was afraid to try. While you sit in the restaurant eating all you want, I sit here alone with my tears, wishing I was you. But you don’t know that because you’ve never even spoken to me.

Take A Little Walk Around Yourself by Helen Welshimer

When you’re criticizing others
And are finding here and there
A fault or two to speak of
Or a weakness you can’t bear.
When you’re blaming someone’s weakness
Or accusing one of pelf
It’s time that you went out
To take a walk around yourself.

There are lots of human failures
In the average of us all,
And lots of grave shortcomings
In the short ones and the tall.
But when we think of evils
Men should lay upon the shelves,
It’s time we all went out
To take a walk around ourselves.

We need so often in this life
This balancing of scales,
This seeing how much in us wins,
And how much in us fails;
But before you judge another
Just to lay him on the shelf–
It would be a splendid plan
To take a walk around yourself.

Don't Judge Me Because I'm Poor

How many of us go about our daily routine and make the judgment that others are not worthy of our friendship? How many times have we looked at the man wearing those old boots and thought "I wouldn't be caught dead wearing those in public."? How many times have we judged someone by the color of their skin but never took the time to even say hello? And yes, how many of us have judged the person who is overweight, stepping around them so as not to get too close, as if fat was contagious?

Every person we encounter has a story but in order for us to understand, we have to be willing to tear down the walls that separate us from those that are different. The man with worn out boots could be a soldier or a construction worker. Both jobs are important. The girl with milk chocolate skin didn't choose her family, she was born into it. She chose to see color as something beautiful in spite of the prejudice she has experienced. And the boy who is overweight might have a heart of gold. If you were dying and needed CPR, would you refuse it because he is fat?

These are choices we make every day when we make the judgment that one person is less important or less valuable based on what we perceive with our eyes. If we could look beyond and see with our hearts; see through the real eyes of love for humanity, we just might be surprised at how different our own life would be. Open your eyes. Let go of the judgment. Take a little walk around yourself.


Read more of my hubs here.

© 2012 Linda Crist

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  • lrc7815 profile image
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    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Hello dwachira. I love your comment about the important things being free. And you are so right about how we take too much for granted. Many years ago, I met a man from Ghana who shared with me things about his country and the simple life his family lived there. He was very bright and was here in the US to study blood banking techniques to take back to his hospital in Ghana. I have never forgotten his humility and appreciation for the important things in life. It was a good lesson for me.

    Thank you so much for your visit to my hub and for your beautiful response.

  • dwachira profile image

    [ Danson Wachira ] 4 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

    Hi Linda,

    We don't know how it feels to be in ones shoes until were are actually into them. We should stop taking life for granted and we should be grateful for what we have. There is a reason why the most important things in life are free; sleep, air, laughter ...name them, they should make us appreciate life and what we are. Great article, you gave us a life thought. Voted up, useful and more.

  • lrc7815 profile image
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    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Dear Amy, isn't that the saddest story. I just finished watching another news report and it is heartbreaking. Thank you for your compassion and for being here today.

  • btrbell profile image

    Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

    You are right, Linda. This is has been a stange week altogether and I fell behind altogether!

  • Amy Becherer profile image

    Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    I couldn't help but think about the shocking news today about the nurse that committed suicide after she was pranked by two smartass DJ's pretending to be royalty calling about Kate at the hospital where she was being treated for severe morning sickness. Management at the hospital stood by the nurse's work ethic, describing her as a diligent, hard-working, well thought of nurse by all her collegues. Its been stated that she felt she had dishonored the confidentiality of the nursing profession and felt she would never live it down. The management at the radio station is not firing the two DJ's, but barring them from air-time, presumably until the story loses momentum. Unfortunately, the 42-year old nurse was the mother of two young children and they have lost their mother forever.

    I am not surprised, yet I am still appalled at the number of people negatively critiquing the actions of the nurse rather than the pranksters. No one walked in the nurses shoes. No one knew what else she was dealing with in life. Apparently, she took her job very seriously. Her workmates and the patients she helped all had high praise for her dedication and diligence at the hospital where she worked for 4 years. Since I've not seen one statement of remorse from the radio station for this ill-conceived prank, I can only assume they are laying low to avoid inciting a possible lawsuit. After all, money makes the world go round.

    Great article, Linda, that can't help but make every reader think.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Hi Randi! Thank you so much for the compliment. I don't know about you but I think it's easy to miss hubs that you wanted to read. Some days it's just hard to keep up, isn't it. :-)

  • btrbell profile image

    Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

    What an amazing hub! I'm not sure how I missed it but I sure am glad I found it. Really wonderful and so, so necessary, sadly. Thank you for sharing this!

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    MizB - all children are beautiful but the most beautiful child I've ever seen was a bi-racial child that I got to know working in healthcare. It was 30 years ago and her life as a bi-racial child was not an easy one. This child had so much love inside to give and rarely was given a chance. It broke my heart. Yes, you are right, we have a lot of changing to do to get where we should be but we can't give up, can we? Thank you so much for your beautiful comment and for the compliment too. I am so honored to be your friend.

  • MizBejabbers profile image

    MizBejabbers 4 years ago

    It is beautiful, it is powerful, and it made me want to cry. If we are to become one world filled with love, many of us are going to have to change inside. Our on country is becoming multi-racial and that is beginning to stamp out prejudices, but it isn't fast enough. My friend's granddaughter is a mix of black, white, Native American, and hispanic (a true rainbow child), and she is going to be as beautiful as the young lady in your lovely photo above. Still, she gets comments from rude people on the street. So sad. And some of the finest people I know are more comfortable in old dirty boots, but I would never judge them. In fact, when I retire I may join them. You have a heart as big as Dallas, my friend. I love the love you put into your hubs.

  • lrc7815 profile image
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    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    MH, tell me your story. What is it I would have seen? I know you have a good heart and I appreciate your friendship. Thank you for always being here to support my effort.

  • lrc7815 profile image
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    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Sweet Faith, always here, always encouraging. What would I be without you? Thank you so much for your kindness. I too loved Jeff's comment. Seems we all get that 2x4 in our eye from time to time but can still see past it to find fault in other's. It's easier to look at someone else than it is to examine ourselves, isn't it? Thank you for being 'you' Faith. You always inspire me.

  • lrc7815 profile image
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    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Hello Justsilvie - thank you for the visit here and for letting me know you enjoyed this hub.

  • lrc7815 profile image
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    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Hi X - how are you? Aren't we quick to judge and slow to change? We have such big egos, until something happens to knock us down a notch. Thank you for the beautiful comment and always, always for taking the time to read me.

  • Mhatter99 profile image

    Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

    Inspirational words. I wish you had seen me at work so you could see what is possible.

  • Faith Reaper profile image

    Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

    Whoa Linda - this is one powerful, thought-provoking piece here! I know just where those soldier's boots have been, as I have heard and been a witness to those night terrors and PTSD. This is an amazing contribution to the H.O.W. movement on many levels. As JThomp commented above, it did remind me too of that scripture that I like to paraphrase as follows . . . why are you looking at the speck in your brother's eye, while there is a big 2 X 4 sticking out of your own eye!

    You are great!

    Voted up +++ and sharing

    In His Love, Faith Reaper

  • profile image

    Justsilvie 4 years ago

    A wonderful Hub pointing out a very important message.

  • xstatic profile image

    Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

    This is thoughtful and attention-getting as well. It should serve as a mirror for those who deem to judge others with little or no basis for doing so.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Hi Jeff. What a great addition to my hub you have provided. I so appreciate you, for your support and encouragement.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Mr Arher, thank you. Thank you for making it simple. Thank you for reading my hub and bringing the focus home. It starts with us, doesn't it?

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Shiningirisheyes, I agree, there is so much more underneath the cover. Everyone has a story to tell and sometimes they just need someone to tell it to.

  • lrc7815 profile image
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    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Thanks Michele. I appreciate your visit and your comment.

  • profile image

    JThomp42 4 years ago

    Great read Linda! This reminds of the verse in the Bible about worrying about the sawdust in your brother's eye, while you ignore the plank in your own eye. Voted up and awesome.

  • Mr Archer profile image

    Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

    Great job here! We are oh so quick to point our finger at others, but oh so slow to turn it towards ourselves. Look inward first, people; you might find that by doing that you see the outer world as a little better place.

  • shiningirisheyes profile image

    Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

    Fantastic and to-the-point article with as awesome accompaniment by Helen Welshimer. I suppose it takes being on the other end of this judgement to make others realize how cruel, unfair and truly judgmental they are. I often tell people "never judge a book by its cover". The story inside may just impress you, make you cry or want to hug the book.

  • Michele Travis profile image

    Michele Travis 4 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

    So good, wish we all could remember and honer people like him. Thank you so much for writing this.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Hi Eric. You can see if you sit with him a while. He has not forgotten his stories and if we are quiet and listen, he will tell them. Thank you for the visit.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Bill, thank you my dear, dear friend. You give me far too much credit but I am always happy when you think I have written something that has meaning. It is the reason I write, to be a voice for those who can barely whisper. I am humbled by your comment today.

  • Ericdierker profile image

    Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

    I like it. Oh how wish I could see what that old red man's shoes have seen.

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Take a walk around yourself....what a great line! The only problem is that a person overcome by ego thinks they look pretty darn good, and they will never see their faults. That's a bit of a terminal disease if you ask me. :)

    What a powerful message; you have become a wonderful voice here on HP in such a short time. I am so proud to be your friend, Linda!