How Can We Fix America?
Right now I am mourning the state of our world. Not the whole world, but my whole world, the shining example of peace, prosperity, and freedom to many people worldwide. I am mourning the state of America. And it hurts.
We have become filled with hate. We were already divided, and ready to fight, but now our anger cannot be hidden. And no one but ourselves can save us. I look at the news, and I see endless squabbling and fighting. I listen to my race, and I hear words of hate towards our white counterparts. They disguise nothing but self-loathing.
I look to the white race and I see that they are divided also. Half want to be proud of their race amongst the onslaught of blame, criticism, and fault. I cannot blame them. It is okay to be white. It is okay to be anything but ashamed. But I look at them and I see the same self-loathing that my people display. They champion guilt and shame. They hate their own skin-color for the sins of their fathers. And I look to people of color and they encourage this! It sickens me and saddens me.
I experienced this as a child. I was told that I should have been ashamed to listen to rock music, and to like reading, and to speak properly. I was told I should be ashamed to be me. I was told I was a disgrace. But not by white people. I experienced this exclusively at the hands of Black People.
Apparently, I was guilty of liking music made by "white devils". I was an Uncle Tom for liking to enjoy myself. It didn't take long for me to say fuck it. And I hated myself for a long time afterward. I had a hate so blinding, that I made decisions specifically to remove myself from any notion of black culture. I had a hate so blinding that I frequented sites like Chimpmania, and the Dailystormer. I enjoyed the sickening bigotry displayed there, my hate was so alive.
It saddens me to say that some Blacks sound damn near the same as the racists on those forums, but two things distinguish them. The media will defend them up, and they are definitely serious. Yet, there is no excuse for hate.
But, through years of practice, and dedication, my hate is dead, now. It took endless political, religious, and personal debate and emotional turmoil to realize that hate wasn't the way. I love all. Love is the only way we will ever continue. I have an obligation as someone who constantly sits on the outside to at least try to understand others.
And it may take coming to the depths of hatred to find this out. But LBJ was right. I look to the future and see nothing but flames, and fighting. This endless tribalism is murdering all of our identities.
We are nothing if we are not unified. When we stand against our own flag, our own nation, when we stand against the only thing that is common to each and every one of us, we murder the sanctity of everything else. We have no greater identity other than “American.” Because, dammit, that’s the only thing we all have in common, in these desperate times.
Until we learn to understand that we are all each and every one of us brothers and sisters, we are not Black, nor White. We are not Democrat or Republican. We are not Christian or Atheist. We are fucking lost.
© 2018 Joey Smith