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How do I Avoid Political Conversation? A serious issue for all of us.

Updated on May 21, 2017

Avoiding "The Sway"

In 2017, we face an onslaught of politics in our face. Around every turn, we are bombarded with politico's attempting to sway us. "The Sway", a term used to describe that overbearing uncle(Larry), grandma, guy on the bus or boss attempting to persuade you, that their political opinion is right, seems to be happening more and more. Not only is their opinion right, but you are not entitled to yours and you are in fact, indefensibly wrong in every word you speak. They will Sway you, oh yes. You will be Swun.

And every time this happens, if you're anything like me, you want to build a fort away from all the crazies and never speak to anyone again (Only for an hour of course). Fortunately, this feeling can be avoided. The list below will assist you in navigating your day without having to deal with "The Sway". You're days will be Uncle Larry free.

1. Take charge of the topic

This may seem a little obvious but if you see a "Swayer" coming, and their hooks are heading your way, start a conversation that is inherently different to their political agenda. Make it narrow, direct and ultimately, if you are up for it, make it boring. When Larry hears about your enthusiasm for the new Beats headphones, and how you adore comparing them to other brands, he may even try to change the subject to that of his favorite politician. On hearing Larrys diversion to Politico X, once again take charge. Try the following, "You know what, I saw X on the news the other day. Coincidentally, he was wearing beats". Larry will soon see another victim over your shoulder and be on his way. No need to ruin the family gathering and your lunch.

This also works with topics such as knitting, baseball, cabbage farming and cider brewing.

What's your favorite political conversation changer?

What's your favorite political conversation changer?

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2. Behave like you have no idea

Option 2 is a little more controversial (rude?). When Larry peers across the Christmas party for a soul to suck on, you'll feel his every footstep like a tremor, but you've no need to fear. For all you need to equip yourself with is nothing. "Nothing" is the perfect defense to a politico. When they want you to express an opinion on the presidents new agenda, simply reply with "So, is the president actually allowed to get married, or does the pope still frown on that?". That might be a bit strong, but if you are offensively ignorant to the point, Larry will smell the deal and leave. On the other hand, if Larry senses that you are intelligent, he will be on you with the Sway like a horse fly on cow manure.

It really depends on your comfort level, but I find this one works best on trains, planes and with the Larry you don't know.

3. Eat chicken wings

When Larry plonks into that seat beside you, and your stuck in the middle row, you better hope your 'ready made' airline dinner comes soon. As soon as it arrives, wedge as much food as you can onto your teeth and smile at Larry's every word. In all seriousness though, I have found that Larry will leave you alone if you start eating. You may even be able to throw in a conversation twister about chicken wings, while munching down your food. But hold up, because you want that meal to last. Larry's are prone to watching their victims eat, and as soon as you swallow that last pretzel, they are back on your case, trying the Sway on for size.

Good Luck

The next time a Larry approaches you, to Sway your brain with the washing, feel free to take my advise and avoid a headache. AT the very least, you'll be free from their nonsense for awhile.


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