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How to Forgive Someone - Art of Forgiving

Updated on August 29, 2012

How To Learn the Art of Forgiveness

How to forgive

All of us had been hurt in one way or another. The hurt maybe inflicted by people we love most (this truly hurts), relatives, ex-wife/husband, best friend etc.

Whether we have been cheated on, duped, scam or somebody hurt us, there is no other way but to move on. Why? because we are at the losing end, and besides we cant just sulk and be sad forever. When we are sad, it affects our moods, output and how we deal with our loved ones. They don’t deserve to be affected.

For my own sake I don’t like to dwell on things and I easily let go. I have a forgiving heart too because I honestly believe that people are good, and if they are selfish at times, they still have time to change.

Sometimes though, it is very difficult to forgive. Some would say time can only tell if you can forgive the person who did so much pain to you. I say it otherwise, it is easier to forgive if you just let it go.

Steps on How to Learn the Art of Forgiveness

I have listed down some things which we need to do so that we may have the heart to easily forgive.

  1. Always remember that forgiving is not for the other person but for you. Be kind to yourself.
  2. Forget the bad act and remember the good things that person did to you. Try to separate the person from the act (although this is extremely difficult). Always try to understand the other person, where he/she is coming from etc.
  3. The damage have been done and there is no more time to dwell on it. Instead of always remembering the hurt, try to divert your attention to other things. Your time is not worth it. The more you will be at a losing end because you are trying to punish yourself.
  4. Try to write a letter or talk to the person who hurt you, express yourself and tell them what is in your mind. I am sure after talking to them, your heart will be lightened.
  5. If you forgive them and you want to continue your relationship with them, little by little put the incident out of your mind. Don’t always remind them of what they did. But don’t try to justify their action specially if they did it to you the second time already. It is clear they will never change and what makes it more difficult is for example you have a permanent ties with them (immediate family).
  6. The sweetest revenge (although of course we don’t like revenge) is to move on (if we don’t like to have anymore relationship with them) and having a good life.

Comments

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    • prettydarkhorse profile imageAUTHOR

      prettydarkhorse 

      7 years ago from US

      thanks medkh

    • profile image

      Medkh9 

      8 years ago

      great hub , i like the info you provided here

    • prettydarkhorse profile imageAUTHOR

      prettydarkhorse 

      9 years ago from US

      hi Money Glitch, you are definitely correct in what you said! forgiveness is the key and you have to forgive others you will become happier in the process!

      have a good day and thanks!

    • Money Glitch profile image

      Money Glitch 

      9 years ago from Texas

      Forgiveness is definitely the key! I have found that you have to truly forgive in order to move forward to a better life. Thanks for sharing!

    • prettydarkhorse profile imageAUTHOR

      prettydarkhorse 

      9 years ago from US

      to wavegirl: thanks for reading this hub.

    • wavegirl22 profile image

      Shari 

      9 years ago from New York, NY

      Great hub prettydarkhorse . . for if there is anger in your heart from past hurts the less capable you will be in loving in the present. Thanks for sharing this.

    • prettydarkhorse profile imageAUTHOR

      prettydarkhorse 

      9 years ago from US

      sannyasinman: yeah you are most definitely correct..

    • sannyasinman profile image

      sannyasinman 

      9 years ago

      True forgivenes can take a moment, or it can take a lifetime. Either way it is always worthwhile.

    • prettydarkhorse profile imageAUTHOR

      prettydarkhorse 

      9 years ago from US

      to Lady_E: thanks for reading this hub, truly forgiving is never easy, but somehow we learn to do it because it somehow let us forgive ourselves also....bless you everyday...keep on writing nice hubs too and joining the forums...

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 

      9 years ago from London, UK

      Useful and practical. As you wrote - it isn't easy forgiving. In most situations, I forgive so that I can have peace of mind and good health as unforgiveness breeds bitterness and that now leads to negative energy being inside or around.

      I've actually heard of people who have been ill but after forgiving the people who they have been bitter about - the illness disappeared.

      Thanks for sharing a beautiful Hub. I hope others will take your advice too. :)

    • prettydarkhorse profile imageAUTHOR

      prettydarkhorse 

      9 years ago from US

      to myownworld: thank you for reading my hub...

    • myownworld profile image

      myownworld 

      9 years ago from uk

      yes, it's so true that forgiveness is for ourselves, not the other person. I too believe that if one lets resentment and anger pile in one's heart, it's only yourself that u hurt. anyway, wonderful hub...and your compassion comes through....

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