I think I'd rather be poor

 Without peace of mind and knowing your family and your health is in check the world is not that that important.

Now that sounds pretty grim, but to millions of people who get up every day who are in various stages of Cancer,Kidney Disease,and a wide variety of other stuff that just kills the attitude of people.

I can finally include myself in this category of unlucky people. The surrounding public tries to understand and may even pray for you from time to time. All the tea in China won't help, if you are in this category of people who have struck down or just very sick it's like like being in a club with friends around you who all do the same thing.

The worst thing about being sick is the attitude of the medical profession by large.The forms they make you fill out remind me of an entrance examine to prison. If you every wanted to joke with or ask a question about something of concern about your problem, you might as well talk to the janitor they would have much more compassion.

Not knowing about every one's particular problem, but within every illness there is a way of life that you must adhere to in order to exist. A course of action is needed to fight of the demons that surround your mind. About the time you think things can get worst they usually do.

Family is an asset to you if you are blessed enough to have a bunch of folks that care about you. I have a large and I'm blessed, however no one even family knows what goes on in your head when you get those mood swings and you don't really care anymore about anything. I'm not saying this will last but it is painful to the heart.

I have a sister in law who is also very sick and under treatment now. Sometimes the treatment is far work than anything you could imagine could happen to a kinder and more generous person who was minding their own business when fate stepped on her toes. My heart go's out her more than she can realize. Tough people feel pain also and are very appreciative of every thing you do for them, don't let their rough exterior get in you way of being kind.

I have observed in my short 60 years of life may people around me who have accepted their illness and trusted the medical business to be fair with them and solve the problem. I'm not so kind, what I see is a great bureaucy of paper work and attorneys complicating the facts with liability to the point where you think it's natural. My friends don't believe this load of crap, and don't be so willing to roll over and just die because someone with a nice white jacket says you are going to. The only one who knows its your time is God , he gives you so many signpost along the way to help you if you would only stand up and take  notice . You must be the victor of your sole and refuse to submit to others will just because they say so.

I know some of you are in pretty bad shape, but just smell the roses today, and not the words of people who don't care about you. I know you bay have a tear in you eye right about now and think I'm full of crap, and you may be right. But if you think in your mind that somethings not right with the treatment your getting or the doctor is just running you around doing a bunch of non necessary treatments just to keep the train flowing with insurance money.

Please don't get upset with me, its just my way of dealing with the pain I feel, it keeps me from just laying down and looking for an easy way to leave. I 'm surrounded by a lot of loving people at work and home.

Please keep the faith and don't check out until it's time, God will let you let you know, Have a great day my friends and let me here from you.