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Idiots, Imbeciles, and Morons

Updated on August 19, 2012

...if I only had a brain.

I was at work the other day and could not help but overhear a conversation that was going on at the bar. In the conversation a word came up, which I couldn’t help but notice has been almost erased from today’s vernacular…that word was “Imbecile.”

I first heard the word somewhere back in the 60’s, quite often I might add, as my own mother used it on many occasion to describe me when I would find myself in unconventional situations in my youth. The phrase, “What are you, an imbecile or something?”, or, “Stop acting like an imbecile.” Would frequently present themselves, as I went about my daily routine of reaching maturation. However, I never did know the exact definition of the word. I presumed that it was just a fancy way of calling someone an idiot…I was wrong.

After researching the word, I found that it was a psychological term relating to the three, then, definitions of people with sub-standard IQ’s. Imbecile is a term for moderate to severe mental retardation, as well as for a type of criminal. It arises from the Latin word imbecillus, meaning weak, or weak-minded. "Imbecile" was once applied to people with an IQ of 26-50, between "moron" (IQ of 51-70) and "idiot" (IQ of 0-25). Therefore, when my mother referred to me as an “Imbecile” and I thought she was calling me an “Idiot” I was mistaken. She actually held me in a higher regard. My brother had an even greater opinion of me, as he constantly referred to me as a “Moron.” As I grew older, I guess my level of intellect fluctuated, because one day I could be just the normal imbecile, but the next day, become a total idiot, or complete moron. Either way, my friends value always remained the same, they were all morons... according to my mother. And all that time, I thought she was trying to say they were no good to hang around with, boy, was I an idiot.

The reason I find this word so intriguing, now, is that the conversation I overheard was one of a political nature, and it got me to thinking. When I got home that night, I turned on the news and listened to the idiots on Fox News talking about the morons who are running for office. I thought to myself, why should a well adjusted imbecile like myself, be listening to what a bunch of idiots think about the morons that might be leading this country in the future. When I noticed the reaction to the idiot’s observations, I was further perplexed at how many people, who seemed to be credible imbeciles, or even morons themselves, agreed with the idiot’s observations. It was then that I remembered my own fluctuation between idiocy and imbecilism…(and at times a glint of moron), and figured it out. The morons, or at least the people who sponsor them, pay the idiots large sums of money to sway the imbecile’s opinion in their direction. The morons know that whatever they tell the idiots to say will be said, because, well, they’re idiots. Your average imbecile, like myself, will process the information, and when given a few choice tags, such as: Patriotism, Socialism, God fearing, and un-American will most likely jump on the bandwagon with them, thereby becoming idiots themselves. But if the imbecile were to do some research on their own, they would see what, in fact, the morons are telling the idiots to say.Eventually I started channel surfing and found different idiots spewing things different morons wanted said and decided to play a video game.

What I learned from all of this is that our country is run by morons, and always will be. Imbeciles, like myself, will always listen to the idiots, because, as imbeciles, we trust the idiot more than we trust the moron, we relate to the idiot from our own feelings of inadequacy when put up next to a moron. This is where the new twist on things comes in. The morons have learned to sound like bigger idiots than the idiots themselves, thus confusing the average imbecile into thinking they voted for a moron, rather than an idiot. This trend has been going on for quite some time, just look at some of the morons we have thrown into office who have turned out to be complete idiots.

I have put a block on all of the cable news channels since then, I am going back to only reading the newspaper, which I know is staffed by a multitude of imbeciles. I have decided that in the next election I will turn back to cable news and vote for whichever moron the idiots seem to dislike the most. It’s the most imbecilic thing I can do.


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