Internet Insults 101: Your Face
Sometimes in life, especially on the Internet, people can be mean. It is important that you be able to defend yourself with the maturity of a 12 year old in order to feel strong and powerful. For those unable to channel their inner 12 year old, this is an instructable for lowering the tone of your Internet conversation with two simple words, 'your' and 'face'. At one time, back in a distant past, before the invention of the intertubes, this function was performed by the more incendiary, 'your mother', or perhaps 'yo momma' if one was ebonically inclined. Nowadays, many users of the great world wide internets are choosing to substitute a physically based insult for a maternal one.
Let us examine this new linguistic insult mutation.
Your Face.
'Your face' is a phrase which can successfully turn around any conversation that may be going astray. Simply by adding the words 'your face' to a received insult, one turns it around on the insulter with all the aplomb of a Danish man on a tiny bicycle.
Allow me to demonstrate this concept with a politically charged and indeed topical insult that one might encounter in the Middle Eastern climes.
Insult: Infidel dog!
Response: Your face is an infidel dog!
With diplomacy like that, who needs imaginary WMDs as an excuse for war?
Of course, this versatile phrase will work in a more domestic and puerile environments too.
Insult: You are stupid.
Response: Your face is stupid!
There is, quite literally, no insult that cannot be rebutted successfully with the inclusion of the phrase 'your face'.
Allow me to illustrate the concept further with famous insults from witty people who were good with words.
Insult: “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
Oscar Wilde
Response: Your face is intensely disliked by your friends.
“He had delusions of adequacy.”
Walter Kerr
Response: Your face has delusions of adequacy.
By substituting a repetitive, meme type response for original thinking, you will find that your internet stock rises considerably. Here on the internet, we respect people who are able to recognize and regurgitate a new meme.
Insult: “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”
Samuel Johnson
Response: Your face is the cause of dullness in others.
See? It never gets old.
Go forth now people and insult others with the assuredness that can only come from having the ultimate comeback.
Your face is a comeback.
