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Longly Lost Libertarian Lore and Very Muchly More

Updated on July 2, 2019
Garry Reed profile image

Garry Reed combined a professional technical writing career and a passion for all things libertarian to become The Libertarian Opinionizer.

The Gonfalon of the E Gads Den of Libersaurians
Flag of the first “LiberTerrans” or “Free Folk of the Land” who arose as The Spontaneous Order of The Societee of The Sovereigns after the Die Nasty of the Athør-Atærion Empyre fell.

Mythological Mirth from Ye Libertarian Opinionizer

Some mistakenly think that Libertarianism in America began with Ron Paul.

The Libertarian Historian Brian Doherty asserts in his manuscript Radicals for Capitalism that “The Modern American Libertarian Movement” had its origins in 1943 with the publication of the works of three Wondrous Women: Rose Wilder Lane (The Discovery of Freedom), Isabel Paterson (The God of the Machine) and Ayn Rand (The Fountainhead).

But others have found the roots of our individualist voluntaryist self-ownership worldview extend back into the Renaissance, the Reformation and the Enlightenment with its Scientific Revolution and its Age of Reason that featured philosophical skepticism over blind faith, religious tolerance, liberty, human progress through self-ownership, rationalism and individualism over collectivism.

Yet Murray Rothbard, writing in a Mises Institute article “Libertarianism in Ancient China” notes that the Taoists of the sixth to fourth centuries BC “were the world's first libertarians, who believed in virtually no interference by the state in economy or society.”

Book Break: Ye Libertarian Opinionizer’s Pick

FairyTale Riot (The Clarion Call Book 4)
FairyTale Riot (The Clarion Call Book 4)

How many libertarians know of the Agorist Writers Workshop of “liberty-minded individuals” who began publishing multi-author anthologies in 2015? “Fairytale Riot” is the 4th in The Clarion Call series that features 27 authors of Fables, Folklore and Further Fantastical Fare Featuring Freedom and Freebooting Fantasies from Faraway Frontiers and Futures Forever Forgotten.

Or something like that. The stories are Enormously Eclectic ranging from the Mists of Mythology with Fates and Fairies to the Mystical Millenniums of Magic to our Present Period of Perplexing Paranormal Paradoxes.

And all of it marinated in the libertarian social philosophy of Agorism.

 

Seeking Libertarianism’s Earliest Stirrings

But what if libertarianism goes back even further? What if the seeds of our philosophy were planted in the Age of Fantasies, Fairytales and folklore? What if the earliest beginnings are to be found in the Annals of the Ancient Ages?

To find out, Your Libertarian Opinionizer entered upon a Quest for The Truth that took him back through time, into and Beyond the Depths of History and into the Bowels of the Worldly Wide Web on a Master Research Project lasting at least 2.7 hours when his laptop battery died and he fell asleep.

There amongst the familiar mythologies of Gremlins and Gryphons, Orcs and Ogres, Gnomes and Nymphs was discovered a concealed compendium of prehistory history that reveals the earliest beginnings of our own modern world: Amongst all the other various varieties of socio-politico thinkery there too emerges libertarianism.

Read well ye peoples of the Planetary Orb that is Earth, known also as Terra, and rediscover thine Undiscovered Beginnings.

Clan of Ye Olde Libertarian Contrarians

The People: Libercontrarians
Their Talisman: The Spiny Porcupiny

An Ever Esteemed Elder of the Suspectful and Suspicious Spiny Porcupiny Peoples of the Princeless Principality of Paragon cautioned his Kith and Kin to be Deeply Disavowing of those who would claim to be Kings or Khans, Lords or Lairds, Caesars or Seizers or any sort of Assortment of Autocrats or Authoritarians whatsoever.

“As All are born of One Body and One Mind Intertwined,” sayeth he, “so must Each and Every Soul be Sovereign, Independent, Autonomous, Individual and hopefully Indivisible as well.”

It is said this Aged Elder did awaken from a NAP and his murmur of words where heard to be, “I wish to honor my Long Lost Love Nona Gretchen and establish a Princeless Principality for her to be named the Nona Gretchen Principality.” And so was done what thusly and henceforward eventually and eventfully became transliterated into Modern English as “the Non-Aggression Principal.”

Den of the Daemon Donkey Kongdom

The People: Daemoncrats
Their Talisman: The Daemon Donkey

This be from the translations of the Portentous Prose Poems produced by the Dozens of Denizens who dictated the Daemon Donkey Documents entitled “Toleration Only For They Whom Tolerate Us.”

“We, the Daemoncrats, are the One True Tribe whose Sacred Spirit-Being be the Daemon Donkey which doth Uniformally Unite us in the Grande Groupthinkery of Communal Consciousness.

“We be they who embrace the Visionary Ones, the Seers of the Things that Must Come, of the Knowers of What is to be Needed. We are the Closed Circle of The All, of the Many that is The Onlyness of Everything, of those who embrace the Race of Ourselves, forever guided by our Gifts of Goodly-Intentioned Hearts and Feelings and Impressions and Emotionalisms.

“We Strut and Tanut and Flaunt our Superior Sensitivities. Our primary purpose for existing is to battle the Putrid Repugnant Pachyderm Populace who knowest Nothing of our Daydreams and Pipedreams and Heartdreams and Wishdreams. We be the Ultimate Changelings, the Prophesiers of Impossible Progressive Preposterousness.”

Trunk Funk from the Elephantine Tribe

The People: Repugnantcons
Their Talisman: The Repugnant Pachyderm

This be from the Deciphered Disquisitions of the pages of the Unknown and Unsung Sages of the Grande Olde Pachyderm Patriarchy who produced an Ideography of an Ideology entitled, “No Toleration For All Who Be Intolerant Of Us.”

“We, the Repugnantcons, art the Conventional Clann of Correctitude whose Sacred Spirit-Being be the Grande Olde Pachyderm which doth tye us to Tradition and Custom and Habit in the High Holiness of Purposeful and Perpetual Piety.

“We be they who Obey the Sanity of the Saintly Ones, the Raptures of the Righteous, the Tribunes of the Truth As We Know It. We are they who Encircle the Closed Cloister of Correctness.

“We Harrumph and stomp our stubby stump feet and Trumpet Our Truths from our Trunks and keep forever the Ways of our Faithful Forebearers. Our primary purpose for existing is to defeat the Disgusting Daemoncrat Donkey Deviants who knowest Nothing of our Superiorness and Absoluteness and Truthness. We art the Ceaseless Un-Changlings, Perfunctorily Preserving in Perpetuity the Perpetually Repetitive Past.”

Ye Warty Warthog Warrior Wankers

The People: Wartweed Warriors
Their Talisman: Warrior Warthog

Upon the verge of verbal violence in a Tyme of Many Yesteryears a vast Horde of Warthog Warriors held forth before the Great Kahn Survatees and his Tribe of Traditionable Troglodytes upon a Wasteland of Wartweeds. Thence did Head Warthog Progg Gresseve proclaim, “Ye have not the wont to rule The Lands with Fairness nor Justice! So shall just us Warriors of the Warthog Way be the Enforcers of Equalness for All Eternity!”

Hence with no Tweeters nor any Linked Kin to clearly communicate their prejudicial pronunciamento throughout the Commons and Countryside the Warthog Horde became known from thence forward as the So Shall Just Us Warriors who forthwith branded all Beings into contrary categories and thence enforced their Own Onerous Justifications of Justness upon some and naught on others.

Skyling Scourges Scavenging Left and Right

The People: Sinister Soul Sorters
Their Talisman: Harpy Collectivore

In accord with Long Ago Lore Flocks of Harpy Collectivores swooped down upon and captured the Souls of Evildoers in their talons and flew off with their collected victims, thereby becoming known to all Folk as “The Collectivists.”

As be known, just as humans and all other handed beings are either left-handed or right-handed so the Harpies were left-winged or right-winged. The left-winged Harpies deposited each collected CommunElf into a chasm while the right-winged Harpies dumped their collected Fascistaurs into a fissure to the far right of the first abyss.

Why one collectivistic Assortment of Souls is perceived as Left-Wingers and the other as Right-Wingers tis lost to the mists of time. There be no dissimilitude as both Left and Right Souls were Evil to the Collectivores of Yore and are so in this Current Daye and Age.

Forsooth, for whether one evil be of the Left Wing or the Right Wing both are still wings of the self-same Harpy and therefore equally evil!

These be the Charmless Enchanted Childlings

The People: Pixie Snowflakes
Their Talisman: The Pixilated Prima-Donna

Snowflake Pixies are the utmost sensitive and delicate of all the Faerieland Fairies, be they mischievous or whimsical Pixies, Brownies. Leprechauns, Dwarves, Elves, Nature Fairies, Changelings, Kelpies, Sluaghs, Hobgoblins, Hearth Spirits, Kobolds or similarly enchanted beings as Nymphs and Dyads. Snowflake Pixies are as feverishly fragile as the feather-light Heavenly-Sent ice crystals from which their very identities are derived.

It is told in the Primordial Tales of the Olden Tymes that each and every Snowflake Pixie must be awarded a Grand and Glorious Prize for the mere act of partaking in the Great Woodland Games else they will pout and mope and sulk and weep 'til their very tears become icicles upon their frosty snowflakey visages.

Tis ne’re known today whether the Pixie teardrops created the Snowflakes nor the Snowflakes created the Pixies themselves.

Trolls of the Otherworld Wide Web

The People: Fay’s Booke Trolls
Their Talisman: Themselves

No sooner had the Fair Folke of Fairyland finished their first fine Pages for the Ages for Fays and Faeries, Imps and Nymphs, Spectral Spirits and Sprites than did it become Tromped Upon by Terrible Trolls.

The Fay’s creation was meant to be a Sociable Spiderweb Way to Hobnob with a Hobgoblin, Reveal Oneself to an Elf or Message a Mystical Mermaid. Their creation, famed through All the Lands of Antiquity and Forever in After Times, was known as Fay’s Booke.

Treacherous Trolls arose from beneath their bridges and along with many of their Kinds and Kins suchlike as Ogres and Orcs, Devils and Daemons, Goblins and Golems and Gargoyles began to ravage and rage against those who made use of Fay’s Booke.

No sooner did a personage from Shire or Shore print a passage on a page in Fay’s Booke doth some Troll trot out the Trashtalk to rant and rage and ridicule.

As Humans of These Times know, what was Once Then is Still Now.

The Real Roots of the Libertarian Lifesense?

The People: First FreeFolke
Talisman: Peaceful Peoples Protectors

Thus did it come to pass that the Ancient Statistsaurians turned against The First Fully Humanfolke and so too did such First Humans defend themselves from all manner of Insufferable Satanic Snakery sorts and all who would serve such Serpents.

Thenceforth whomsoever sayeth there has naught been a Human Habitation based upon the Beliefs of the Nullification of Aggressivism Precept in opposition to Coercion and Intimidation and Fraud verily have naught sought The Truth that transcends the modern mind.

The Message of Liberteria speaks neither to Tribe nor Troupe, to Crowd nor Crewe, to Class nor Clan, to Caste nor Kind but verily to the One and Only Singular Soul of each Free and Finite Folke.

Yet in sooth so has it been for Millennia that whensoever Humans have formed their Own Fledgling Freeholds doth some Sinister Set of Grotesque Groupthinking Gargoylish Serpents surface to savagely subjugate and enslave them.

And even yet can neither Faith nor Philosophy nor Metaphysical Phraseology maketh the Individual into a Singular Swarm of Mindless Minions. Hence One’s Own Body and Own Mind and Own Lifeforce and All that One doth maketh and thinketh from such belong to Each Individual Only, and never to any Greater ClusterFolke of Collectivists.

The Tribe belongeth to The People yet the People doth not belong to The Tribe save as each chooses so.

And that surmounts all mythology!

References and Links

Radicals For Capitalism Brian Doherty tracked the laissez-faire free market brand of libertarian capitalism in the US from the early 1940s through 2007 when his book was published. Let’s hope he’s tracking the movement today and writes a sequel soon.

Modern American Libertarian Movement Did three wondrously free-thinking women, Rose Wilder Lane (The Discovery of Freedom), Isabel Paterson (The God of the Machine) and Ayn Rand (The Fountainhead) really launch a libertarian renewal all in the same year?

Rothbard and the Taoists According to Rothbard Lao Tzu, founder of Taoism, saw “the individual and his happiness was the key unit of society” while government was a vicious oppressor of the individual, and "more to be feared than fierce tigers."

Modern Libertarian Mythology There’s no need to delve into ancient mythology when there’s so much mythology being perpetrated today by anti-libertarians. Here’s just one article out of many that takes on some of today’s myths about libertarians.

Video View: Your Libertarian Opinionizer’s Pick

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