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Men & Pregnancy

Updated on December 7, 2012
Men Should Be Included In The Decisions
Men Should Be Included In The Decisions | Source

by Amber Maccione

Shouldn't Men Have Rights When It Comes To Pregnancy?

When two people decide to have sex and a baby is conceived, our world immediately focuses on the woman. Just look at our laws. The woman has all the rights. She can abort the baby without the man's consent. She can also have the baby and force the man through family law to pay child support even if he didn't want the child. There is something wrong with this picture. If it takes two to tango and two to conceive a baby, then it should take the same two to decide what they will do about their pregnancy. I think just as there are laws to protect a woman, there should also be laws to protect a man.



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Scenario 1: Woman No, Man Yes

Let's say Mary and Joe had relations and it ended up in a pregnancy. Mary calls up Joe and says, "I'm pregnant. I don't want the child. So I will be going to the clinic to fix the issue." Joe replies that he is not for this. He wants to keep the child. Mary goes to the clinic anyway and aborts the baby.

Is this fair to Joe? He did participate in the acts to get pregnant so shouldn't he legally have a say? What about his rights as a father?

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Scenario 2: Woman Yes, Man No

Susan and Allen have been dating for awhile, but Allen has never wanted children. Susan is late and decides to take a pregnancy test. The test is positive. Susan informs Allen that they are pregnant. Allen quickly reminds her that he does not want children and that they need to either abort the baby or give the baby up for adoption. Susan decides that she is going to keep the baby because it has always been her dream to be a mom. Because of this, Allen and Susan break up. After Susan has the child, she takes Allen to court for child support. The judge orders Allen to have to pay $250 a month for a child that Allen did not want.

Is this fair? If Susan had not wanted the baby, the law allows for her to do two things: abortion or adoption. Is it fair that Allen has to pay for a child he did not want? What laws protect him? If Allen had been the woman, he would have had options. But because he is the man, he is stuck footing the bill.

Men & Pregnancy

Should Men Have Rights Too?

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What Is The Answer?

I think that there should be laws in place that require both the man and woman to sign legal documents when a pregnancy occurs. Every time someone has sex with another person of the opposite sex, there are chances that that encounter could result in a pregnancy. Men should have rights too since it took a part of them to make the child. Their wants should be considered 50/50 alongside the wants of the woman.

Let's take a re-look at Mary an Joe. In this situation, Mary should be required to carry the baby full term. Joe's health insurance should cover all of Mary's pregnancy since he is the one who wants the child, not Mary. Once the child is born, Mary should have to sign paperwork that releases her from child support and any other responsibility to that child. Joe would be sole parent and Mary would lose all rights.

In the scenario involving Susan and Allen, Allen should have been allowed to sign paperwork that released him from the pregnancy at the beginning of Susan's pregnancy. This way there was documentation that he did not want to be a father and Susan was choosing on her own to take sole responsibility of the child herself.

The answer here is having legal documentation that courts will recognize so that both parties have a say in whether they want to be parents. There needs to be laws in place to protect men from becoming fathers when they do not want to or feel they are not ready to. There needs to be laws in place to protect men who want to be fathers from their partner taking that away from them when they did contribute 50% to the pregnancy.

In the business world, I believe you have to have 51% stock in a company to have the upper hand of control within that company. With a pregnancy, each person has 50% giving both the man and woman equal responsibility and say in the decision to become or not become parents.

I think it is time that our country begins to fight for men's rights.

Disclaimer

This article is not about abortion being right or wrong. The author is pro-life, but wanted to shed light on the fact that pregnancy is very one sided when it comes to the rights of someone being a parent or not being a parent.

Copyright © 2012 http://ambercita04.hubpages.com/

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    • ikepius profile image

      @ikepius 4 years ago from Twittosphere: @ikepius

      Thanks so very much for bringing this up! Women don't seem to care about men's feelings. They just selfishly cry about theirs. I definitely will return to see the reactions from here.

    • ambercita04 profile image
      Author

      Amber 4 years ago from Winter Park

      When I became pregnant, my boyfriend did not want me to keep the baby. I am against abortion all the way, so this was not an option. I decided to keep the baby but told him that I wouldnot pursue child support if not being a father was still his stance once the baby was born. He eventuall changed his mind and he is a great father and enjoys it. But I do believe that having a child is a choice that each party should get to decide for themselves and there should be legal protections out there for men just as there are for woman.

    • orderedchaos profile image

      orderedchaos 4 years ago from Kansas City, MO

      While I agree with some of your points I can't help but feeling like the woman should have more rights (51% stock if you will) considering she's the one who acts as a hotel for the baby for almost a year of her life. Interesting things to consider though.

    • ambercita04 profile image
      Author

      Amber 4 years ago from Winter Park

      But then I can also turn this into what about the baby? How much percentage does the baby get since it is his or her body too? I would disagree. A man gives a sperm and a woman an egg. Without the two, there would be no baby. Therefore, regardless of who carries it (whether it be the woman who gave the egg or even another woman) the couple who gave the sperm and egg have 50/50.

    • orderedchaos profile image

      orderedchaos 4 years ago from Kansas City, MO

      Just curious, would you still hold to your assertions in the case of rape?

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      This is definitely a sticky situation amercita....it is hard to say a man should tell a woman whether or not to be pregnant for nine months...it is also difficult for an unmarried man's insurance to cover a pregnancy. On the other hand, that baby is a part of that man as well. All the more reason to think before you act.

      Voted up and interesting.

    • ambercita04 profile image
      Author

      Amber 4 years ago from Winter Park

      Yes, even in rape. There is an after pill called Plan B that a woman could get after being raped. But if she ends up pregnant, she should keep the baby until she gives birth. Then either give the child up for adoption (either closed or open) or she can choose to keep the child. The child is a blessing whether he comes from rape or love. The child is a living being and should be given the right to life. I know rape is a hard thing to deal with. It is painful, but there are also other options beside abortion. And abortion is cruel. It ripes and shreds the baby into pieces. Abortion in my opinion should never be an option for anyone. And we are so two faced with the issue too. If a person murders a pregnant person, that person is charged with a double homicide. Why should the murder becharged with double if the "baby" could legally be aborted? We say we can abort because the baby isn't a baby yet cry murder if played out in a different way. I'm sorry but we all know deep down that abortion is wrong. We just use the law as a scapegoat to try and clear our conscience.

      Hence the reason I said there should be laws in place to protect the man.

    • MasculistFeminist profile image

      Ryan 4 years ago from Australia

      Thank you Amber for writing this article. You touch on one of the reasons many men are starting to boycott marriage and family life. When society regards the male contribution to their children as nothing more than sperm and a paycheck, why would any sane man want to get married or start a family? Then some women ask where have all the good men gone? I don't know whether to laugh or cry at such ignorance of the men's needs and the issues they face. Perhaps that is why they are still single... All I can say is that I am glad that the women in my life regard men more highly than that! Many men are not so lucky. Fortunately women like you exist and I thank God for that.

      Just because a woman carries a man's baby does not mean that baby is less his. One woman on HubPages regards men as mere fertiliser. That is analogous to me calling women mere incubators. Both statements are complete nonsense and yet men are indeed treated this way.

      The role of men and fatherhood in raising children and bringing them into existence, needs to be re-established in society. We are bringing boys into the world and teaching them that they don't matter to family life. Later when they grow up, that has enormous consequences for families, men and society at large. We wonder why male suicide, crime, unemployment, mental illness and fatherless households have all mushroomed in last the few decades. The influence of radical feminism on our society, through media, politics and our education system has caused massive damage. I don't think people fully realise just how bad things are going to get. The London riots were mostly caused by young males without hope or a future. Extrapolate and we can predict what will happen next!

      Thank you once again for bringing this to peoples attention.

    • ambercita04 profile image
      Author

      Amber 4 years ago from Winter Park

      I totally agree with you about feminism being a problem. I actually bought my son a cabbage patch male doll for Christmas. I don't see dolls as "girl" toys. I see them as a way to teach my son at a young age about being a dad. He loves taking care of his "son". And I am proud to say my son owns a baby doll.

    • Darkproxy profile image

      Darkproxy 4 years ago from Ohio

      I find it scary that my wife can at her will change her mind and go out then kill the baby without my say. Its my child too right?

    • ambercita04 profile image
      Author

      Amber 4 years ago from Winter Park

      Yes it is. You should have a say legal on what happens to the child. When a woman goes to the doctor and it is verified that she is pregnant, there needs to be a law in place that requires the man to be a part of deciding. Paperwork needs to be done by both parties before anything permanently happens to that child such as an abortion. A man should have a say.

    • KT Banks profile image

      KT Banks 4 years ago from Texas

      As the mother of 3 sons, I found this hub very interesting, and gave it a lot of thought. Out of my three planned and wonderful pregnancies, one of them was very hard on me - throughout most of the pregnancy.

      A woman's body is not just a hotel for a growing baby. It is an Enormous commitment ( to eat right, quit drinking caffeine, alcohol, take pre-natal vitamins, all the doctor visits, etc...) and even today, it can still be life risking. That is No small thing.

      A really think a lot of women are afraid of being pregnant and giving birth. I would never take back any of my pregnancies, not even the hardest one. My children are precious to me, and my husband. But... I know I am Lucky.

      This is an interesting hub, I just like to contemplate both sides. Voted Up and more.

    • ambercita04 profile image
      Author

      Amber 4 years ago from Winter Park

      KT,

      Yes, I understand all about what women go through with prenancy. I went through a pregnancy and my mother went through a lot where she had numerous complications and ectopic pregnancies.

      But a man should have a say. I am sure that if there were complications in your pregnancy, you an your husband talked it over and came up with an agreement. I am sure you included him in all aspects of all your pregnancies because you were quite aware that it was a partnership and the baby was both of your's.

      My point here is that there should be legal papers that must be written and signed before one person can make a choice on something that involved two people creating it regardless of who carries it.

    • KT Banks profile image

      KT Banks 4 years ago from Texas

      I'm sorry. I don't agree. For instance, because I was 35 the last time I was pregnant, the doctors wanted me to have a amniocentesis, to make sure the baby didn't have any birth defects, or Down Syndrome.

      I read some reports that in some cases (even a very low percentage), this could cause a miscarriage. God had already given me two healthy babies, so I decided that I wouldn't risk the life of this new precious one, just because the doctors wanted to do more tests. I didn't ask my husband first, I just told the doctor, no.

      So, let's think abut that for a minute. If I had talked it over with my husband, and he said he only wanted a baby if it was perfect - should I be forced to get an abortion if the tests showed potential problems?

    • ambercita04 profile image
      Author

      Amber 4 years ago from Winter Park

      No, you wouldn't be forced to have an abortion because you wanted it. But he could be legally not responsible for that child if that was the case.

      My point is that no one should be forced to not have something they wanted or didn't want just because someone else does. It takes two to make a baby and each should have equal rights.

      Most of the issues do not stem from people being married, but people having children out of wedlock. You seem to be missing the point to all I said. My point is that men should have a say about keeping a baby they helped make or being let go legally because they didn't want a child. There are two many women that have babies just to trap men. They see babies as a meal ticket and men as part of that paycheck. Then you have the feminist who believe that having a baby is all about the women and men should have no say. That is the point.

      I'm sure you are in a loving marriage where you and your husband have discussed things and know how the other would feel when it comes to hard decisions.

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