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Men as Women See and Hear Them in 2019

Updated on June 12, 2019
Ewent profile image

As a published novelist, blogger and SEO content writer, I grew up and worked constantly outnumbered by men.

Toxic Masculinity


It is easy to understand why some men today are labeled "Toxic Masculinity" by observant women.

The most vocal, most strident and militant in US society today are men who seem to have an ax to grind and their targets are women.

Recently, a 98% male jury in a Midwestern state gave a rapist the right to visitation of the child he forced his victim to bear when he impregnated her.

This is also the state that banned abortions at 6 weeks of pregnancy. That state is Alabama. Not one of the men considered that most women do not know for certain at 6 weeks if they are, in fact, pregnant.

So bascially, Alabama men are demanding women of child bearing age become pregnant whether they want to or not.

10 all white males in AL passed legislation shutting down all Planned Parenthood clinics, banned abortion at 6 weeks and forced parental rights of rapists on women who have been savagely and repeatedly raped.


Women know what this is REALLY about. Women, unlike men, possess the gift of a finely honed intuitive nature.


There are several things women notice most about the Toxic Male. These include:

1. Bullying and the need to dominate

2. Attitudes that men are always more superior than women

3. Inability to ever admit they are wrong about anything

4. Refusal to accept that women are their equals in business, government and society in general.

5. The abject trait of hatred for the word "NO" unless it has an expectation of advantage

6. The need to take down any woman who attempts to compete with them by insults, degradation and outright distortions of her reputation

7. Straddling the fence where right and wrong are concerned

8. Bristling when they are outnumbered by women in social circles

9. Ignoring their own flaws in favor of deflecting and spotlighting flaws in women

10. Lack of attention to the words they choose to communicate


Back in the ancestral heritage of Neanderthal man, it is easier to see where the attitude of superiority began.

After all, hunting down T-Rex was a "Man's Job." and only Neanderthal males possessed the strength and bravery to bring home dinner for the women and children they left in the caves.

From the moment a man leaves the birth canal, the word "NO" is a thorn in his side. Breathes there a woman who has not raised children who will claim the word "NO" was not a reason for rebellion in sons more than daughters?

Mothers often are amused by the fact that when they tell a male toddler "maybe" the toddler hears that as a "NO!"

By school age, the male child has already worked out his strategies to turn "Maybe" and "NO" into the much preferred "Yes."

In high school, what teenage boy accepts rejection, a form of "NO" without going ballistic? This applies to girls and female teachers as well.

Oddly, they militarize well enough to obey their sports coaches on demand as if they were in basic training camp.

It is when these toxic males enter the business world that the wall of toxicity begins to build to epic proportions.

In business, toxic male stick together like gum on their shoes on the hottest day of summer when there is a woman they need to take down a few pegs to remind her of her inferiority and where her "place" is.

Women who observe men by microscoping them laugh when it is 2 toxic males about to go tooth to tooth for the same job title or upward rank. Cut throat strategies prevail like a pro CIA agent.

There are a few toxic males that know to keep overt man "power" attitudes in check. That doesn't mean they won't go syrupy sweet patronizing a woman which is intended to insult her intelligence.

A woman in business who is unwilling to obey like a handmaiden of the lords of the universe is called "feminazi," "tight butt," or worse.

If name calling has no effect, the toxic male knows all he has to do is fabricate distortions to her professional reputation. Just a casual hint or two about her morals and scruples does the trick.


As women age though, they begin to have less and less patience for these toxic males and can become quite toxic themselves as a means of survival of the fittest.

A woman past age 60 knows not to waste time on childish toxic men whose only life goal is world power and world domination. A good book is much preferred to all that toxicity.

Today's women, younger and older alike, have a responsibility to ensure that the bad examples these toxic males set do not become an accepted mode of behavior for our kids. The hand that rocks the cradle must also be responsible to raise responsible, ethical children they will feel confident can succeed in society.


Education has changed who women are in ways these toxic males never expected. Today's women are far more cognizant that men are not a necessity but rather, an accessory to their well planned and well established lives.

Thus, when toxic males try to impose their male domination on women and are met with instant rejection and resistance, the outcome is similar to a nuclear explosion.

Not all men are toxic. Just as not all women are feminazis, tight butts or worse. But, today's women have no intentions of always being No. 2 in society.

Responsible, educated women want an equal voice in society even when toxic males go through the strangest convenient deafness at the mere sound of a female voice.

Talented, skillful women will persist in their goals and continue to enjoy success with or without a man's help. Because we know we can. We know what is best for us better than any man.

In the end? It's really a man's choice to be fair and honest...but it won't be in a "Man's World."


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    • abwilliams profile image

      A B Williams 

      1 minute ago from Central Florida

      Love, Trump is praised, because he is doing one heck of a job as our President!

      Rush Limbaugh has the most listened to talk radio show in history, because he is funny, entertaining and tells it like it is. If he did or said half of the things you've accused him of over the years...he'd no longer be around! Do you honestly think that leftists aren't waiting for the day when he actually says something you've repeatedly accused him of? Think about it.

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      27 minutes ago from Cape Cod, USA

      Now you know how I feel about Trump. Do YOU get it? He is praised for his toxicity, or at least given a pass.

      And you need audio T? I listened to that bum Limbaugh for years. Until Clinton was elected and his toxicity stunned me. And HE said “he’s not my president”. Rush said that about Bill. And of course he wanted Barak the magic negroe to fail.

      So now poor trump and his supporters are getting a taste of their own medicine with trump. Only he deserves it. He is toxic towards others with a capital T.

      Yes, rush called women femi-Nazis. Rush said a woman who takes too much birth control, “that makes her a slut.”

      And please. Just stop. If you want a toxic contest you and your clique will win.

      And I have yet to know why.

      All I did was start a thread:

      “Stop telling me what I want!”

      And that was it. Hate Nation attacked and haven’t stopped since.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      95 minutes ago from Texas

      Okay, I give up. People tell me that I'm too nice. Maybe they have a point. I mean, I was just telling someone that I was feeling bad for you - now not so much. My comments were tame compared to others I've read here and you still don't get it.

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      103 minutes ago from Cape Cod, USA

      He represents almost all men who call themselves Republican. And plenty who say they serve god. Which means the senate and the majority on the Supreme Court.

      I’d say that’s enough to cause damage.

      And here’s another one. When will they die off?

    • tsadjatko profile image

      105 minutes ago from now on

      Leslie every time you open your mouth you lie and slander the best people in America.

      Rush never called “women” nazi’s or sluts.

      If anyone I’ve ever met is “toxic” it is YOU and like you say there is nothing wrong with calling out toxic so I’m glad to call YOU out as the most toxic anything I’ve ever met online, and that says a whole lot because there are quite a few toxic hubbers and they’re all friends of yours but you take the cake.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      108 minutes ago from Texas

      Trump often behaves like a petty, pompous ass - but he doesn't represent the way most men think or act. You've lumped "most all" men into some sort of toxic stereotype here. Your very last sentence attests to that.

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      114 minutes ago from Cape Cod, USA

      Ok. We live in different worlds. Because look at your president. If that’s not toxic, what is?

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      2 hours ago from Texas

      If you'd paid attention to what I said the first time, you'd have your answer. Or even the last time. You missed your mark. I've heard a few claims that this "toxic masculinity" is on the rise, but I have not seen any real evidence of that in the world around me.

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      2 hours ago from Cape Cod, USA

      So what’s wrong with calling out toxic masculinity? Toxic means unkind. Like Rush Limbaugh. Calling women Nazis and sluts.

      Why do we have to glorify that?

      Why must we be silent? I mean, he is not.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      2 hours ago from Texas

      Nothing is so hard about that. That's the point. Most people do teach their sons to be kind. If that's the point you're trying to make, you missed your mark.

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      2 hours ago from Cape Cod, USA

      I have grandsons. I teach them not to be toxic. What’s so hard about that? And I taught my daughters to try for equality in a relationship. You do for him, he does for you.

      None of this women always waiting on men, like I was raised.

      One time when I was first married, we women were getting salads for the men, and I accidentally put cake batter in hubbys that was funny.

      But if I showed a tape of that kind of stuff, my daughters would say “ma, you did that?”

      Times have changed. Really changed. And it’s liberating! When I came home from work today, my grandson had some fantastic scrambled eggs ready for me.

      Then we went outside to shoot some hoops. Forget the labels, just live.

    • abwilliams profile image

      A B Williams 

      6 hours ago from Central Florida

      I would love to stick around El, to see where you {or Love} take this next and as entertaining as that might be...alas, I am working today, in this 50-50 business, which I and the far-from-toxic love of my life, my husband, work in together....sometimes requires I, he...we, work on a Saturday or a Sunday. Boo!

    • WillStarr profile image


      7 hours ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      America Star Books, Eleanore?


    • Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

      Wesman Todd Shaw 

      7 hours ago from Kaufman, Texas

      In before author accuses other women of 'internalized misogyny.' It's straight from the Buzzfeed playbook.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      7 hours ago from Texas

      You didn't like my other comment, apparently. So this is what I want to know....Do you have any sons or grandsons? Do you teach them that this is the norm? That they are toxic just for being male because it's a male-dominated society?

    • abwilliams profile image

      A B Williams 

      7 hours ago from Central Florida

      Oozing toxicity......go ahead, quickly now...delete this one too!

    • Ewent profile imageAUTHOR

      Eleanore Ferranti Whitaker 

      7 hours ago from Old Bridge, New Jersey

      Awwww....Did I offend the senses of some with Truth? Feasting at the table of denial was expected.

      As for females who cannot make it without a man in their lives, that kind of neediness is a form of dependency not always due to a poor financial status. So you do get some women who think it is a great thing to sacrifice their own gender at the altar of Toxic masculinity.

      But do enjoy your denial fest. Nothing you post in contrary fashion sticks with me. Time to grow up and see what a lot of women have been seeing since they were allowed to leave their Neanderthal caves.

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image

      Michael John Mele 

      21 hours ago from Seffner, Florida

      What you're describing is not by any means your typical male, most of us are nothing like this. You're describing someone who is abusive, hateful and arrogant, someone who most of us males would not appreciate being associated with at all. Honestly you should be more careful with your words because they are in fact what's toxic. We are in this together, men and woman.

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      24 hours ago from Cape Cod, USA

      Uh huh. I’m sure you give me your blessing......I guess you’ve had a change of heart. Cause I recall a lot of vicious and means statements from you.

      Like all of you so called believers. My advice?

      Repent. Practice more, preach less.

      Your welcome.

    • Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

      Wesman Todd Shaw 

      24 hours ago from Kaufman, Texas

      When I see Leslie on a thing, I just say, 'bless her heart' to myself, and scroll past. I've seen enough of her reasoning faculty for a lifetime. It's Buzzfeed level thinking.

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      24 hours ago from Cape Cod, USA

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      24 hours ago from Cape Cod, USA

      Which would you call Trump?

      I’ve heard he’s all 3. Not that you would care.....

      And I don’t do your links. Was that the podcast? Because I was not on the 20/20 would have to look me up. And why would you do that? In fact, you seem quite taken with this case. U a cop? Working for the DA? Friend of his?

      And boy, wasn’t I smart? Getting with this guy in 08, knowing there’d be a show in 2016. Told you I was the great lmc- ni. I foresaw the show!

      8 years I plotted to get them to make a podcast, so I could be derided, smeared, insulted and maligned by the white ignorants of the world.

      Phew....thats sum smart, huh?

      Why do you think I kept it secret for so long?

      Get over yourself. There is no subliminal plot. 2 people started talking and fell in love. Simple. And leave it to a Christian to demonize it. Cause you’re so full of love.


    • WillStarr profile image


      24 hours ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      This is another genuine 'toxic male' like Leslie's beloved Chris. The woman who thought her love could fix him bailed him out of jail and within hours, she was raped and stabbed to death:

    • WillStarr profile image


      24 hours ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      BTW Eleanore, what you describe as a 'toxic male' is actually an abusive male, not an ordinary male. They're the wife-beaters, girlfriend beaters, and child beaters. There are also abusive women.

      You seem to be a little confused. Most men are just men.

    • tsadjatko profile image

      24 hours ago from now on

      Which brings us to the truth, Paula.

      Not only about her giving up on advocacy for Chris but similarly her constant ranting and railing on America, the America the founders created, the greatest country on earth.

      If America is as bad as she says and countries like Iceland are better why does she stay here? She’s resigned to failure with Chris who by all accounts I read was not someone any woman would consider a catch before being accused of murder. Why? The same reason she is wasting so much time with hubpages, commenting over and over again on her own hub pages no one reads let alone comments on.

      They are both a ruse.

      She knows Chris is probably guilty or she’d be tirelessly searching for the real murderer to free him and she knows there is no better place on earth to live than the USA or she’d go to Iceland where happiness abounds (according to the BBC 4 years ago)

      But no, she’s wasting her time on hubpages running down our duly elected president and championing every socialist and left wing agenda, time she could be using to exonerate Chris or finding a way to leave white supremacist America with it’s toxic masculinity and go be happy in Iceland!

    • WillStarr profile image


      24 hours ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      One of the reasons some women seek out and marry convicted murderers is their own need for fame, even if it's actually infamy. Here's Leslie's claim to fame:

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      25 hours ago from Cape Cod, USA

      Uh huh....that’s why you have lists of people who have problems with certain ones like me or Dean.

      And I know you all contact people and tell them not to engage with me....someone said so on the q and a!

      That’s why you called on the troops to gang up on Eleanor.....for daring to have strong opinions that you don’t like.

      And trust me, I did everything I could think of to help Chris. Unfortunately, it’s in the hands of the Cape Cod justice system,which has been compared to the deep south as far as racism goes, by a former detective here.

      I was at the racial bias hearing. I watched those smug liars who decided his fate.

      Know who else did? The Wampanoag tribe. Members filled the top tier of the courtroom.

      I’d say they know a thing or two about white mans just-us.

      Which is what this is.

      And it really is one of the worst parts of this, besides letting someone else do the time for your crime....

      They don’t care who killed her! They don’t care.

      So, you all can take your judgements and your know it all attitudes and maybe work on yourselves for a change.

      Always worried about someone else, what, are you perfect?

      I didn’t ask for any advice, thank you. And if I need it, it won’t come from people who look down their noses at me.

    • fpherj48 profile image


      25 hours ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Please consider growing up, Mz McC.....Graduation was decades ago. You're no longer in High School, dear (if you ever were). There are NO "cliques" here or anywhere anymore, once you're a Big Girl....(You always like to say you're so big, so right, so knowledgeable)

      What our HP group of fellow-writers are is a wonderful conglomeration of intelligence, massive talent, common sense, loyalty and friendship. So many of us have created bonds and truly respect and enjoy sharing with one another. (Most of us don't need to resort to leaving hundreds of comments on OUR OWN site articles.)

      You, of all people, should know that when individuals share beliefs and numerous other common bonds, they have the courage, strength and wisdom to speak up. YOU certainly know how to speak up!! You mustn't be jealous of communities of friends whose intentions are based in what they believe in and have the courage to defend. Stick with your sick, psychotic liberals. You'll be just fine.

      I HAVE read up on your Cape Cod Saga. I DO know an awful lot about it all. I told you long ago what I believed. What I simply do not understand is, considering your admitted undying love & loyalty, why you do not spend every single moment of your time, working hard and determined to find multiple ways to help, to go to extremes for this man you so believe in. I find that very curious as well as sad. Instead of totally wasting your precious time, defending scum like the Clintons, you could be and should be doing everything in your power for the husband you believe in. Make no sense, Leslie....None at all.

      These have all been wasted time too because when Man hater Eleanor sees this crowd, she'll probably delete her entire article!! LOL and that would be a good thing.

    • tsadjatko profile image

      25 hours ago from now on

      Leslie, I’m very happy here. Why would I leave?

      But face it Leslie, you’re not happy here, you didn’t choose white supremacist toxic masculine USA, you got stuck here. Iceland has a population of less than 340,000 people, one one thousandth the number of people in the USA. You should be very happy there, no white supremacists running the country, at least 1/1000th of what we have here. it’s got to be a paradise! You have a chance to choose now, go for it, be happy! You’ve done the research, Iceland’s the best. I’ll bet if Trump gets reelected many of your left wing idols will leave America for Iceland, it’s better than Canada!

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      25 hours ago from Cape Cod, USA

      You’ve never met me......have you?

      And this is my country. You leave.

    • tsadjatko profile image

      26 hours ago from now on

      Leslie, why aren’t you moving to Iceland, you are the most unhappy person I’ve ever met, and according to you it’s because of white supremacist America. Do a gofundme and raise what you need to go to iceland, be happy. If Blasey Ford can do gofundme you can to, you’re nearly as famous as she is!

      I think Iceland has prisons there too.

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      26 hours ago from Cape Cod, USA

      Of course’s your clique.

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      26 hours ago from Cape Cod, USA

      Chris is innocent of that crime. No matter how many times you white people deny it, makes no difference to the truth.

      Dont believe me, believe the authors Peter manso, Maria fluke and Sandra Lee.

      Believe Sunny Hostin, of the View. Watch her interview with Dr, oz.

      watch A Killing On The Cape.

      Most people here know Chris didn’t do it.

      But of course, you know better.

      Because no black man has ever been framed for a crime he didn’t commit. Never!

      Why don’t you look into it, instead of following the establishment. Or don’t.

      Just stop acting like you know, cause you don’t.

      And Chris is so toxic, the old ladies on his route used to make cookies for him......

      And the stupid technique of trying to smear others by associating with me has done its damage. But luckily, not everyone is as toxic as your clique.

      And gee queenie, I too screen save all the nasty comments you all leave for me. I mean, for hubpages to say they don’t allow personal attacks is really a joke.

      But then, some of you get away with murder around here.

      and I mean that literally.....I’m starting to wonder what some of you have to do with that murder.

    • fpherj48 profile image


      26 hours ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Mz Whittaker.....No need to thank me for the traffic I pulled in for you. I don't mind helping at all. Albeit, the responses do not favor nor agree with your Op-Ed, but it's better than little to no traffic at all.

      Question: Since you berate MEN, as you call them, TOXIC....for needing to be "in the top" at all times....rejecting the word, "No"......How do you justify disapproving a comment you didn't like because in your was personal? Your entire Op-Ed is PERSONAL! Are you averring publicly that only YOUR personal opinions matter? Isn't that quite Toxic-ally Masculine of you??

    • tsadjatko profile image

      26 hours ago from now on

      i couldn’t get past this on your article

      “...Alabama men are demanding women of child bearing age become pregnant whether they want to or not.”

      I’m sorry but that kind of statement assures me that there is nothing, absolutely nothing of value to read coming from a mind that thinks like that!

      (Actually thinks is a bad choice of words because it implies reasoning of which that statement is void)

      “become pregnant whether they want to or not.”

      If they don’t want to become pregnant that is not the responsibility or determinability of any man and that fact doesn’t require “thinking.” If a woman doesn’t want to become pregnant do I need to say what she doesn’t have to or shouldn’t do? That decision should be made long before she becomes pregnant and if she is too stupid to figure that out maybe we should let her have an abortion to eliminate her genes from the gene pool.

      As far as Alabama men demanding women of child bearing age to become pregnant that is insane. What Alabama law (not men) is demanding is that if a woman is carrying a human life with a beating heart she can’t legally murder that person.

      If you look at this law any other way you need to examine your own morality and get help.

      Seriously, why would anyone read past that statement? I won’t. It tells everything we need to know about the author who I’ll bet doesn’t approve this comment (probably claiming it is a personal attack) which will tell us even more about the author because this comment will be seen no matter what she does.

    • WillStarr profile image


      26 hours ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      I see that you and Leslie McCowen agree, Eleanore.

      Speaking of toxic masculinity, what is more toxic than raping and murdering an innocent woman and leaving her two year old child alone with her dead mother to fend for herself until someone finally discovered her?

      That's the rapist/murderer 'Chris' in 'LovemyChris". That's who Leslie McCowen sought out and married in prison. Yet, like you, she claims to be a man-hater. Go figure.

    • Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

      Wesman Todd Shaw 

      26 hours ago from Kaufman, Texas


      This whole thing is basically a set up. Disagree with the content of the article, and SHAMWOW, you've got the toxic masculinity.

      Count me in. I'm toxically masculine. Very proud of it. I only wish I was more masculine, and more toxic. Well, the good lord saw fit to only bless me with a certain level of it. I'll have to work with what I've got.

      Now, if you all don't mind, I've got a sacred council of the patriarchy meeting to attend.

    • RTalloni profile image


      27 hours ago from the short journey

      My comment is unapproved but you replied to it?

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      27 hours ago from Cape Cod, USA

      Good lord, what a ridiculous load of crap!

      The happy people live on countries where they care about each other. Iceland is very happy, and they are gender bending like crazy. They jailed their criminal bankers and vote on nevery issue, McConnell blocking we the people for his money bags donors.

      And it has been sooo great having so many women in the House. They are speaking out on corruption, unfairness, the cruelty of power, the homegrown terrorism of America.....

      It’s fantastic.

      And if men are happier being without women....why fault the woman?

      I know for a fact, women are better off without domestic violence. And thank god there were programs to help them leave.

      Now, with Trumpland, I despair for women.

      They will be stuck with back ally abortions, and no options when suffering an abusive man.

      No wonder some of you are happy.

      Ugga Bugga, me big man. Me back in power. Me me me

      Lol. I love my hubby, dad (gone now) and brother. My grandsons, too. But the male supremacists?

      No way. They forget their own teachings: there is none good but the Father....including you!

    • fpherj48 profile image


      27 hours ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Carolyn, James & Brad......BRAVO!

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      27 hours ago from Chicago

      Thank for giving me a big belly laugh with, "Alabama men are demanding women of child bearing age become pregnant whether they want to or not." Now THAT is funny!

      As for the rest well . . . Today, for the first time, a majority of American women are living without a husband. The Feminist Movement succeeded in making being a homemaker economically unfeasible and socially scorned. Caring for one's own babies is seen as a waste of time.

      But something odd has happened on the way to Utopia. As women gained education, freedom, and power they became less—not more—happy as human beings, even though American women today live longer and are healthier than at any time in our history.

      The Feminist Movement succeeded in devaluing fathers. That has been devastating for children. The absence of a father is the single most reliable predictor for a whole list of adverse outcomes: low self-esteem, parental alienation, high school dropouts, truancy, early sexual promiscuity, unwed pregnancy, imprisonment, drug abuse, homelessness, sexual abuse, and physical abuse.

      More of American social ills can be traced to single motherhood than to any other source. One in three children lives without a father, and this is a significant cause of poverty and crime. Half of all children do not live with their biological father.

      And it turns out that women are especially hurt by the decline of the traditional family and social cohesion. The happiness of women in America and all Western countries has declined compared to women before Women's Liberation—and compared to men now. It has made men happier than women for the first time on record.

      Even though women are now better educated than men for the first time in history; are working at world record levels, and have unprecedented control over fertility; they have become more and more lonely and miserable. In the end, happiness was not to be found in whoredom.

    • bradmasterOCcal profile image


      27 hours ago

      These traits are similar to those evidenced by the left regardless of gender.

      1. Bullying and the need to dominate

      3. Inability to ever admit they are wrong about anything

      5. The abject trait of hatred for the word "NO" unless it has an expectation of advantage

      6. The need to take down any opponent who attempts to compete with them by insults, degradation and outright distortions of her reputation

      7. Straddling the fence where right and wrong are concerned

      9. Ignoring their own flaws in favor of deflecting and spotlighting flaws in non democrats

      10. Lack of attention to the words they choose to communicate

    • fpherj48 profile image


      29 hours ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      FYI....Being the proactive individual I have always been, I took a screenshot of my comment.....(too bad Roberta did not) So, if & when you attempt to bash me or my comment, w/o allowing others to SEE my comment (as you did with Roberta) I can do everyone the courtesy of publishing my actual comment..

      Thinking ahead is a wonderful trait. Perhaps you should have done a quick look-to-see R Talloni's gender!

    • fpherj48 profile image


      29 hours ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Eleanore.Ferranti Whitaker......This is quite the typical female "hysterical" tantrum, complete with virtual foot-stomping. It's curious how you expect to be taken seriously. Fortunately, you cited no particular, specific nor valid sources for these statements you make about men.....excuse me, "Toxic" men.....thus we can accept this is an Op-Ed in it's entirety. In sincere response to your opinion, I'd like to express my rejection and disagreement to, at the very least, 90% of your negative, unfair, anger-infused opinions of the male half of the human race. The insults and demeaning you fling around so callously and unsubstantiated, has not, nor ever been my experiences or belief of men, in general or exclusively.

      You do not approve a comment from R Talloni, yet you include a lengthy reply, disregarding the few who have left their comment & excluding them from the chance to understand what on earth you are doing.

      By the way, while your response to R Talloni wreaked of a lack of self-control & confidence in your own attitude.....the very last sentence you throw out .."you have zero control over women. Get over it."...should certainly turn your face bright red.....The "R" stands for "Roberta," R Talloni IS a woman. We can be sure she has a fine grasp on women....surely on one woman in particular!

      This article hasn't exactly taken off like a rocket. You shouldn't wonder why.

      Per your attitude, no doubt mine will be the next "unapproved" comment, yet you'll rant about it in response, as though you're talking to yourself. And, you may be correct about that.

    • Ewent profile imageAUTHOR

      Eleanore Ferranti Whitaker 

      31 hours ago from Old Bridge, New Jersey

      R Talloni, all your response proves is what I wrote. So it's stereotyping to call bully males what they are? As for you getting personal, you also prove how you deflect and try to blame it all on women. Another point I also made.

      More men than women are in prisons. Is that also stereotyping? And as for your attempt at proving women's equality, 52 years and still no ERA law has been passed and why is that?

      Is it because only until recently women began to take their place in government? While Men enjoyed that Head of Household stereotype?

      And I am sure there is some pathetic need to blame women for earning in 2019 79 cents for every $1 a man earns right? Is that also a woman's fault?

      I am sorry you are unable to accept what women see and hear from men around us today. But you don't get to justify it by getting personal.

      As a matter of fact, I grew up with 5 brothers and half brothers, later on 11 nephews and worked with male chemists, engineers and accountants.

      So please spare me the pathetic attempts at justification. I stand on what I wrote. You may blindly go forward believing your response can be the only one that is valid. You will see that I already included that in what I wrote.

      I have no patience for immaturity, irresponsible mentalities. Time to grow up and accept what women see all around us today.

      Whether you agree or not, you have zero control over women. Time to get over it.

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      2 days ago from Cape Cod, USA

      People who want to control strangers lives have no civility in them. This is a fight for basic autonomy and human dignity.

      No, you do not tell me what I must do.

      We have the 4th amendment right to be secure in our person. And it is guaranteed by our constitution.

      Leave it to religious people to put their beliefs ahead of human rights.

      Also, it is the man who facilitates pregnancy. It is his responsibility to prevent his seed from spreading.

      Perhaps if you cared more about their end, you could end abortion.

      Until then, if you dont like it, don’t do it.

      I hate guns...passionately.

      So I don’t have one.

      Bring one around me, it’s against MY religion.

    • Carolyn M Fields profile image

      Carolyn Fields 

      2 days ago from South Dakota, USA

      I believe I understand where you are coming from. That said, I have worked in the business world my entire adult life, and I have never experienced the level of toxic masculinity that you describe. Perhaps it's because I'm one of the "educated" power women that you bring up. I have supervised men, and women, and found the men to be much easier to manage because they didn't bring their petty personal problems to the job. About 98% of the time I felt respected. The other 2% of the time, I called the man out on his crap. You are, nevertheless, entitled to your world view. I just don't happen to share it.

      There is one comment I take serious objection to: "So bascially, Alabama men are demanding women of child bearing age become pregnant whether they want to or not." No - that makes no logical sense. Let me break it down. If I am a woman of child bearing age, I have the responsibility to practice safe sex - even if that means I must always be the one using contraception. If I am raped, I have the absolute right for a "morning after" pill. How does this become a "demand" to become pregnant? I don't understand how you arrived at that conclusion. I think you could still make your points, and tone down the rhetoric. Such extreme statements just make civil debate next to impossible. IMHO.

    • Ewent profile imageAUTHOR

      Eleanore Ferranti Whitaker 

      2 days ago from Old Bridge, New Jersey

      At my present phase of life, I see men around me drunk on power. But, I am also savvy enough to recognize that behind that macho facade is a deeply and grossly insecure man.

      Sadly, when men become so drunk with power they lose the ability to be reasoned with. That usually is the beginning of the end of their reign of power.

      My Maternal Grandmother and my ex's Grandmother were 2 women so far ahead of their time in terms of their insightfulness.

      My maternal Grandmother was a Romanian/Hungarian Gypsy and my ex's was part Seminole and part Irish. In the south where she was born and raised, she was used to be called a "half breed." Whereas my Gypsy grandmother was just the opposite being ever on the move from the major Gypsies terror, the Tatars, who hunted them to force them into slavery.

      Both of these women had the idea that good and evil are the strongest forces in life. Neither seemed to hold with the idea that God was a male or female. Rather, a force that stood between the forces of good and evil. Kind of like a "neutralizer."

      I think the frightening thing about today's toxic males is their impetus to control everything and everyone around them. Yet, they never once give thought to the fact that women know how to seek their options quickly for survival.

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      3 days ago from Cape Cod, USA

      Can you imagine how different it would be if we imagined god as a woman?

    • FlourishAnyway profile image


      3 days ago from USA

      They learn this behavior and the generations that follow can unlearn it with concerted effort.

    • Ewent profile imageAUTHOR

      Eleanore Ferranti Whitaker 

      3 days ago from Old Bridge, New Jersey

      Interesting thought Leslie. I suspect you have it right about religion.

      When I turn on the TV after a day of writing for clients and see a dozen men pitching religion to people they seem to need mainly for donations, it makes me wonder how hopeless can one's life really be that they'd fall for all of that?

    • lovemychris profile image

      Leslie McCowen 

      3 days ago from Cape Cod, USA

      Yes! There’s already been a huge paradigm shift in thinking......Just waiting for the old guard to catch up.

      Imo, the main obstacle? Religion, which tells us that man is superior and women must submit.

      How we got there, when it is women who facilitates life, is beyond me. Perhaps men became toxic to compensate for the lack of power they really have?

      And we females have been babying them ever since.

      Ooops, now I’ll be accused of hating men.


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