Name Calling, Bullying Defused in Three Easy Steps
No matter what you are, or what your make-up is - as a person, someone will find something about you,
- to make fun of
- to ridicule
- despise you
- or dislike you
A lot of these name-callings are sometimes called “racial” problems.
What they are -- is just plain - “bullying”.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me”.
If we could just remember this, we would all be better off.
It would take all the bullies and name-callers and make them impotent.
- People are not perfect.
- People are different colors, races, customs and features.
- We are obese, too skinny, too tall or too short.
- We have freckles, red hair, white hair, black hair, brown hair, multicolored hair or kinky hair.
- We are big boned, small bone, crooked bones, brittle bones, or thin bones.
- We have straight hair or thin hair, some of us are even bald.
- Some are not smart and others are very smart.
- Some have learning disabilities, or physically disabled.
- Some people are very strong and yet there are those who are weak.
- We have strong willed people, weak will, or indecisive will.
- There are people who are very ill or with strange diseases.
- People have phobias.
- Some people are beautiful and some are ugly.
- If you look you can find something wrong with everyone.
Certain people look for these differences and exploit them to bring people down to their level, to make people feel rotten, inferior and belittle them by ‘name-calling’ or ‘bullying’.
Bullying, comes in many different forms and should not be tolerated.
Instead of stopping this bullying when kids are young – parents sometimes promote this or they ignore it and hope it goes away.
It can continue into adulthood and we then treat these bullies as ‘racial’.
- Most people who do the bullying, do so because you are making them feel inferior.
- You are a threat to them, even though you think you are not.
- People who name call, like to think of themselves as being superior to you.
- Instead they are showing, how inferior and how stupid they are.
If at any time this person starts physical bullying, you need to call the police – immediately!
As a young girl growing up, I was no exception to this bullying. I was put to the test of many derogatory names. I will not list them, because they were meant to hurt and destroy my pride, self-esteem, self-confidence and they succeeded – for a time!
When I was young, I never knew how to fight back. Even when I was an adult, people said they loved to “Tease” me by calling me hurtful names. Most of my tormentors said it was ‘fun’ and enjoyable to ‘tease’ me and making my life miserable. Of course, they weren't on the receiving end of this bullying.
Does Not Matter
- Let me state here, what term people call you DOES NOT MATTER.
- What does matter is the way you DEAL WITH IT!
- Nor does it matter who is doing the name-calling – what matters is the way you DEAL WITH IT!
- You can’t dictate to how other people see or treat you.
- But - you can decide how you manage or cope with negative name-calling.
- You need to forgive that person for his ignorance, callousness and bullying.
Forgiveness starts the healing process.
Finally turned it Around
It was not until I was an adult that I was finally able to turn this around and stop these people in their tracks – and stop them I did!
How did I do this?
It is very simple. Usually most things that work are simple and anyone can do it.
When anyone calls you a derogatory or hurtful name or teases you in a hurtful way.
Look them directly in the eye
Smile with a big grin
And say “Thank You”.
What does this do?
- It completely destroys what they were trying to do.
- Which is to ‘make you feel bad’ and ‘put you down’.
- They want you to cower in front of them, cry and beg them to stop (giving them the power).
- They want to ‘destroy you completely’ – don’t let them.
- Take control and ‘Stop them in their tracks’.
Turn this around.
- When you do these three simple things, you are destroying them.
- You are making them look ‘stupid’.
- You are showing them ‘they are the foolish one’.
- You are taking all the sting out of what they are trying to do.
- You are turning the table on them, instead of cowering before them, you are strong.
- They may in turn, call you more unsightly names – don’t despair.
Just do the same thing again.....
- look them in the eye
- smile with a big grin and say
- “Thank You.”
They won’t get it.
They can’t understand why you are saying ‘Thank You.”
Remember they are trying to belittle you, making you cowl down to them.
You are the calm, smart one, because it doesn’t matter what they are calling you,
and you are thanking them for letting you know that you heard. (They will never understand or get it!)
What have you accomplished doing this?
You have just made a fool out of that person.
You have shown to them you are a stronger character than they are.
You have just destroyed their game and taken their fun away and made them look stupid.
Guess - who is the smart one now?
Will It Stop – Immediately?
And No, the name calling ‘Probably’ won’t stop at this point.
You will have to do this many times to this person before they finally understand that they are looking pretty stupid, especially in front of all their friends.
Remember – their fun is making you feel bad. To cry and cower before them.
Now let me tell you what this does for you.
- It makes you feel pretty wonderful, because you just beat them at their game.
- It makes you the smart one.
- Remember because someone called you a bad name, doesn’t make you that – unless you let it.
- You just de-fused a dangerous situation by turning it into a compliment.
- (Now THAT should make you feel about the best you can feel. You should be on cloud nine at this time.)
- Instead of calling them names in return you just have smoothed over a difficult situation.
- Instead of breaking down, crying and cowering you stood up to them.
- This will have an affect on you for the rest of that day, it will make you feel great.
- This should make you walk proudly with your head held high.
- This will make you have more self-confidence and gives you self-esteem.
- This will prove that you have confidence in your ability.
- This will prove to you that you can turn a negative situation into a positive occurrence.
- You will find that because you have done something positive out of a negative situation, you can do anything you want, and you can become anything you want.
It may also turn out, that they will want to be your friend, because they will want the power you have.
One thing to Acknowledge
What they are calling you, is probably the way they see you, or want you to be.
Never – Never take offense at the way someone else sees you.
You probably don’t see the same thing when you look into a mirror. Don’t worry…….
Remember, you are what you are.
God made you,
and..... he never makes mistakes!
Be proud of what you are,
and who you are
When you take offense at names people call you, you are turning yourself over to them –
DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!
- When you do this - You give them the power.
- When you turn this into a positive
and say “Thank You” with a smile,
you’ve turned this into a compliment,
and YOU HAVE THE POWER!
If everyone would do this –
we would not have bully’s – they would disappear.
There can’t be a negative affect
– if you take the initiative and turn it into a compliment.
- I know because I do this.
- I’m an adult and
- I turned name-calling (bullying) into a compliment!
It works for me – try it.
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