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Nice Guys vs. Tools - Who wins?

Updated on April 23, 2011

Dating and relationships are something I have never liked working at. They have always been and hopefully won't always be necessary evils. That said this week I will be performing an anthropological study (for lack of any better term. If you think of one let me know) I guess I could use psychological study, but then I makes me sound like I am doing tests on human subjects.

In a way I sort of am, seeing as what I am going to be doing is acting like a jerk to test the reaction of the female species. Yes I called them a species.

Last night, as I was pondering on what I would like to call "the nice guy syndrome;" which is to say nice guys always finish last; my roommates were talking and I entered the conversation to receive some advice. (Oh and ps ladies, if you think this theory is incorrect you are wrong.) I say this from experience. I have grown up as the nice guy and have been in the following situation more times then I care to count.

Situation 1: Nice guy, great friend always willing to help and open to talk. Friend of the nice guy is dating a tool or jerk, and hates being treated horribly, but continues to stay with the guy.

Situation 2: Nice guy, great friend always willing to help and open to talk. Friend of the nice guy never sees the nice guy as any more than that...burn

So back to the story...I leave the comfort of my room and go to talk to my roommates. To save their identities lets call them Brock and Chester. (Funny enough both tool like names, although I am not referring to them as being tools.) I present the problem before them and the solution that almost instantly comes up, is start acting like a tool.

Well me being the nice guy I had no idea where to start, but soon caught on so well that Brock wanted to punch me. Not bad I guess for only acting all through High School and some in College. I probably would have won an Emmy for that performance.

Ok so it probably wasn't that good but, even though they knew I was acting the part of a tool both were getting pretty upset. Funny if you ask me, but not me and would probably never work for an extended period of time.

Characteristics of a tool:

  • Careless
  • Selfish
  • Arrogant
  • Prideful
  • Full of oneself
  • Cocky with little to nothing to back it up
  • Vain
  • Simple minded
  • Obsessed with looks
  • Shallow

(I hope by now you get the picture, if not follow this link: Ultimate Tools) So after discussing and practicing for a few hours, I went to bed. I woke up in the morning determined to adjust this some how to make this experiment work.

The solution came to me at work! I decided that I don't need to be a tool to everyone, because there is no sense in reacting towards guys in a ignorant manner. After all it wasn't them to which this experiment was targeted. The solution and probably 1/2 of a tools genetic make up was: Jerk. This is something a lot easier to carry out, and a lot of the dress of a tool is lost. (Happily) The only characteristics I would really have to emulate are: careless, self centered, and arrogant.

Not near as bad as a tool, but still gets the point across.


If being a nice guy repels girls from wanting to date you, then doing the opposite and acting like a jerk will attract girls.

Day 1:

Now to the part that I think you all are most interested in. Throughout the day I did get more attention then usual by ignoring the females or being short in response to them, but not enough evidence in the situations present to lead to this hypothesis being ruled out. The evidence today did lead toward being a greater truth then an untruth though.

Day 2:

Day 3:

Day 4: MIA

Day 5:


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