ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Being a Latter-Day Saint and a Black American Crushes & Songs Episode Eight

Updated on October 28, 2022
Rodric29 profile image

Rodric's opinion of the Restored Gospel's doctrines change as more revelation comes. In the meantime, reasoning and perception rule the day.

This Is Personal

True stories are often the ones that fiction aspires to live up to. Truth is stranger than fiction only because the truth does not always follow the rules of logic. In this seventh installment of a historically true series told from my perspective, I capture the lessons learned. The contention is that an ancient historian looked into the future and saw my life--making a commentary on my experiences that would help me become a better person. Strange, right? It is stranger than fiction. Some names have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Yes, the experiences are only anecdotal.


I had a crush on Esther! It was a youthful crush, we both innocent youth. I am Black and she is White. At the time, I and much of society did not think that it was appropriate for White people and Black people to date and marry. Mrs. Connell, my third-grade teacher (rest her soul), had taught me that Blacks and Whites do not go together. The book Moroni Saw Me goes into detail about that.

Because of this worldview on race I harbored, I never tried even to hint at an attraction to Esther. It was because of her spiritual knowledge that I longed for her. Esther became the focus of much of my attention though she was younger. She had a weepy personality with a strength of character that I admired. She was the Roadrunner to my Wiley Coyote.

In our local congregation, she was the only other youth from my area that regularly went to church. The boy I was, I fell in like with her. Esther had everything I desired in a friend starting with her love for God.

Latter-day Saint Meeting House

Talent Show

“Rodric,” Sister Canes called out as she approached me on a Wednesday youth night at Church. With the inflection in her use of my name, I knew an assignment to do something was coming. She had that overly nice/sweet sing-song sound that comes when they want kids to do tasks they could not in good conscience force them to do.

“I would like you to sing in the talent show.” She had heard me singing in the choir, being the director, and thought that it would be a good idea for me to sing in the Ward Talent Show. Not waiting for a response, she showed me the music.

“Uh, I can’t sing this,” I lied. It was a rock song. Already I was attending church with White people and I am being asked to cross over musically to the White side, I thought, or that's what I remember thinking.

Embarrassed I had received some flack about my new faith that took me away from the traditional Black churches and into the multiculturalism of the Latter-day Saints Christianity, a.k.a. mostly White people church in the US, I did not want to capitulate.

“What kind of music can you sing" Sister Canes followed up inquisitively and tenaciously as any choir director should since she did so professionally besides volunteering her service at Church.

"We can find something for you to sing,” she insisted in the sing-songy type happy that made me want to help.

“I sing R&B music and stuff,” I huffed out quickly as if she should know that about me because I am Black. It wasn't a lie, but I could have sung anything she gave me. My Black culture did not include a vast musical selection as other Black cultures likely did. I assumed that I had to stay true to my "Blackness," though. Confident that she would not find the type of music that I sang, I awaited her to say Okay, maybe next time.

“Don’t be shy, Rodric,” she singingly accused instead—seeing through my insecurity. “You can sing this song," she said revealing the song "A Whole New World" (R&B version sang by Peabo Bryson and Regina Belle), "with Esther."

Esther had the most beautiful voice I had heard to that point in my life. I sought opportunities to hear her sing, which sue frequently obliged. Singing with Esther would be a way to satisfy my desire to be around her without compromising the tired old Southern code to avoid race-mixing. At least, that's how I placated myself.

“Okay,” I responded as she put the sheet music in my hands ushering me off to the girl I crushed on to sing! I would sing only, mind you, only because it was Kathy that I sang with! I knew I "loved" Esther when we sang "A Whole New World" from the Disney movie Aladdin together.

Being a Saint and a Black American is not hard. It is as difficult as I make it. In the beginning, I seemed to want to accentuate my differences from all of the White people. The law of attraction seemed to be the only thing that could make me admit to my humanity above my race. Singing with Esther made me feel like just a member of the Church, no racial identifier needed.


Moroni, an ancient prophet in The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, wrote in his book that "the church did meet together oft" followed by some other words. What was not in that writing was that the boy that meets together oft at Church would be so happy because of the girl who met together oft at Church to sing for a season. God knew what He was doing with all these beautiful righteous women at Church.

Despite my cultural attachments, the desire for a girl, and the love of God slowly changed my heart to become open to the whispering of the Spirit of God, "A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. John 13:34-35

No, I never got the girl. I did have an experience brought on by my fear of letting go of the mental restrictions of my past. I began the process of learning how to let the most important descriptors, or identities I need to focus on rule my actions:

  1. I am a child of God

  2. I am a child of the Covenant

  3. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2018 Rodric Anthony Johnson


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)