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Play With The Cards You Are Dealt In Life

Updated on August 19, 2013

What's wrong with you

What's wrong with you? No, seriously, what's wrong with you, or better still, what do you think is wrong with you? Are you....a man of short stature, an unusually tall woman? What about your ears, have they been compared to Dumbo's, your nose, has it been call bulbous, flat, or too pointy? Are your feet considered too big for your size, or flat, maybe you think your legs are too little, or too big. How about your figure? Maybe no matter how much weight you lose, or gain,(yes I said gain), you'll never look like Beyonce, Jennifer Anniston, or never even achieve the look that you are striving for. Then there's your head, have you been called pea head, basketball head? Your hands, men, do they say that you have "girly" hands, and women, what about you, man hands, is that what they say? By the way who are THEY? (Just asking)? Oh yes, your skin, too light, too dark, pot marked, rough, dry, oily, is that what they are saying? Let's not forget those lips, oh so, thin, no, too big? Left anything out? You take it from here. Today an inordinate amount of emphasis is placed on physical appearance. The validity of that statement is born out by the proliferation of cosmetic surgeries publicized in the media.

Are you, or were you teased in school or work, about what was considered to be less than perfect features. Young people, and adults alike, do you have a particular shortcoming that is the bane of your existence? Perhaps you feel, at times, your life is not worth living, due to this "shortcoming." Well shame on you! "Why," you ask? I'll explain later.

Playing with the cards you're dealt

What do I mean, by the statement, play with the cards you're dealt? Card players can understand what I mean. One of my favorite games is a card game called Bid Whist. It's a poor man's version of Bridge. In the game, there are four players, only one wins the chance to change their hand. The other three players must play with the cards they are dealt. To some, the game is very serious. According to the expert players there are no bad hands, just bad players. You see, with that "bad hand," according to the player who has it, must, if nothing else know when to play each card, to help their partner. Complaining about your "bad hand," is unacceptable, you simply must make the best of it. These rules are strictly adhered to by the serious players. I do like to play the game, however, I am by no means a serious player, so yes I do have a bad hand at times.

Well, for some, life is like that hand of cards, no matter what you get, you must learn to live with it, and make the best of it. And why not, most of the things that are heretofore mentioned can't be altered, and even those that can be, most wouldn't change. Not being able or willing to alter their physical features, most people spend an inordinate amount of time focusing on them, wasting time that could be spent in positive pursuits which could bring happiness to themselves or others.

Now, I could interject here, physical appearances should not be that important, but let's face it, to some they are, and for those ones who feel they are, read on. If you feel someone you know could benefit from this article, by all means stay with me here.

Consider this

While we are bemoaning our shortcomings, we should take a look around. First of all, consider this, if THEY are teasing you, maybe THEY are trying divert attention away from a shortcoming of their own, take a closer look at them, and don't judge, just as you would not want them to judge you. Let's get this out of the way now, as THEY say, "beauty is only skin deep." I know that doesn't make it any easier, so we won't spend a lot of time focusing on that aspect of physical appearances. I digress.

Suppose you are complaining about your height, legs or feet. Consider this, what about the man who has no legs. Think he'd give just about anything to have legs, and feet, regardless of what they looked like. What about your head, think about the person who has had an accident, and is unable to think clearly, he probably doesn't care what size his head is now, if only he could use his the way he used it before. Maybe you're complaining about those hands, what are they used for, can you give a gentle back rub, feel the soft skin of a newborn baby? Wow! What about those girly/man hands now? You say, your ears are your worst problem, can you hear beautiful music, or the soft whisper of your beloved ones? Then to those with these supposed "maladies," you too have reasons to be thankful. Search yourself. What are they?The features mentioned herein are, up till now, impossible, or nearly impossible to change. That being the case, why would you allow those things to dictate the extent of your happiness?

Change what

Instead of constantly lamenting the fault you find with your appearance, why not Change. Not necessarily physically, (through cosmetic surgery), change your outlook. For instance, even if you do have one or more of those shortcomings, you quite possibly have a feature that you can be proud to show. Do you have a head of hair that would make shampoo manufacturers want you to advertise for them. What about your hands, and feet, maybe you have the most beautiful extremities anyone's ever seen. Those muscular arms, those gams, (legs), need I say fashion model worthy? Oh that skin, smooth, milky white, olive, warm brown, beautifully dark as night? What about that small waistline, those beautiful, green, blue, brown eyes? Can you see where I'm going with this? In other words, look at yourself in the mirror and find something that is your pride and joy and play that up for all it's worth!

Conclusion

Now, after close scrutiny, you've not found that elusive beauty feature, ask someone. Yes that's what I said, ask someone, preferable a trusted friend, or a loved one, someone who has your best interest at heart. Be open, upfront, let them know that you are struggling with your "shortcoming," and need some encouragement. Hopefully, you choose the right one. If you don't, I don't know what to tell you. Just kidding. With or without their help, just simply learn to "play with the cards that you are dealt."

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    • emohealer profile image

      Sioux Ramos 7 years ago from South Carolina

      fastfreta,

      I had to come searching for this hub, the notice I got in my email, the link didn't work, said it no longer existed...it was wrong thank goodness!

      The title really says it all..so aptly named for appreciating what is, one of my favorite subjects you know and you wrote it incredibly well with a beautiful spin. As always, thank you and write on!

    • DynamicS profile image

      Sandria Green-Stewart 7 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      Wow! fastfreta, I love everything you said... You are right on point. We spend way too much time focusing on the physical and not enough time working on our internal (mind, thoughts, beliefs) I love your attitude and the way you express yourself so clear and precise. It was like listening to you speak.

      Thanks for sharing and for inspiring us to look deep within and handle our business... Play with the cards you are dealt...I love it!!!!

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you emohealer, I hit the wrong button while I was writing the hub and instead of "done editing,"

      I hit "publish now," when I wasn't ready to do so. On Saturday, something happened that sparked the idea for this hub and I just had to write it. I so appreciate when you read and critique my work, because I totally respect your opinion. Thanks again.

      Thanks DynamicS, for stopping by. I still cannot believe that writers of your caliber and that of emohealer and more listen to what I have to say. I still have to pinch myself when I read your comments. Thanks very much.

    • profile image

      ladydijay 7 years ago

      Keep up the good work. Very good reads.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks ladydijay for stopping by.

    • Feline Prophet profile image

      Feline Prophet 7 years ago from India

      You hit the nail on the head! We all have redeeming features, and I don't mean just physically. :)

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you Feline Prophet, for your validation of my hub. Please come back.

    • profile image

      ashleyr24 7 years ago

      I like this one, especially because we all are self-conscious about something on our bodies. Some more than others, either way, we should be appreciative for what we have and embrace ourselves, shortcomings and all.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks ashleyr, for stopping by and validating my hub. Come by again soon.

    • qlcoach profile image

      qlcoach 7 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      Dealing with body image is difficult. So is mental illness, addictions, and chronic illness,etc. Sometimes life deals us jokers and wild cards. Here is what I know: whatever happens, we can find positive and healing ways to overcome our suffering. Let us take that stand together and learn to walk in the Light. Thank you so much for commenting on some of HUBS. Namaste....Gary.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks qlcoach for the encouraging comment. Come back again soon!

    • Bail Up ! profile image

      Bail Up ! 7 years ago

      that's right - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so put your best features forward and forget about the rest.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks again Bail Up for your confirmation of my assessment of outer beauty.

    • hypnodude profile image

      Andrea 7 years ago from Italy

      This is another good one. I agree with you and like this hub a lot. You're definitely right, each one of us has strong points as much as weak ones. And focusing, developing and enhancing the stronger ones can make miracles. Great hub.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks again hypnodude for weighing in on this hub, and I do appreciate your assessment of it. See you soon.

    • profile image

      stagnetto 7 years ago

      I couldn't agree with you more because this is exactly the way I feel, we have to make the best that was given to us and the reason some people are not happy with what they have is precisely because they don't make the best of it!

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      I appreciate you stagnetto for taking time to read my hub, and thanks for your comment. See you soon.

    • Dolores Monet profile image

      Dolores Monet 7 years ago from East Coast, United States

      Great advice, Freta, as usual. I love your attitude. Too tall too short, it's all the same. Imagine what it would be like to be physically perfect. It actually sounds boring.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you Dolores. I never thought of it that way, interesting.

    • Petra Vlah profile image

      Petra Vlah 7 years ago from Los Angeles

      Great hub and very good advice. Beauty standards have changed all through history and will keep on changing.

      It is the possitive attitude and the personal style, which could and should be developed by all women that makes a person unique. Turning a negative into a possitive could be done; it takes work and imagination, but is worth the effort.

      Even the ones we consider to be beautiful are unhappy and insecure about their looks (too much focus on the wrong issue)

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thank Petra, I totally agree, positive attitude plays a big part in being content with our our lot in life. Thanks for validating my hub, with your thought provoking comments. See you soon.

    • profile image

      cosette 7 years ago

      Bid Whist sounds like a good card game, and a fine way to teach playing the hand you are dealt. you wrote:

      "What about your head, think about the person that has had an accident and is unable to think clearly, he probably doesn't care what size his head is now, if only he could use his the way he used it before. Maybe you're complaining about those hands, what are they used for, can you give a gentle back rub, feel the softness of the skin of a newborn baby? Wow! What about those girly/man hands now? You say your ears are your worst problem, can you hear beautiful music, or the soft whisper of your loved ones?"

      that is wonderful. i'm glad i am getting out in the HubPages neighborhood more...otherwise i would have missed incredible hubs like this.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you very much cosette, I had almost forgotten about this hub. Thank you so much for stopping by, now I must get over and check you out, (smile).

    • flinchwymer profile image

      flinchwymer 6 years ago from West Yorkshire U.K.

      That's a great analogy. I'm so glad I found you. You're a warm, kind, compassionate human being. Intelligent and articulate as well. Keep 'em coming.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 6 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks flinchwymer, you're a dear. Thanks for reading my hubs, I look forward to reading all of yours also. See you soon.

    • Treasuresofheaven profile image

      Sima Ballinger 6 years ago from Michigan

      Hi fastfreta, this is my first time reading your hub. I see why your name is fastfreta -- your writing moves quickly, smoothly and very enjoyable. I am a Fan! I really like this Hub. It is fantastic and filled with truth.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 6 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks Treasuresofheaven, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Please come back again. I'll be seeing you very soon.

    • camlo profile image

      Camlo De Ville 5 years ago from Cologne, Germany

      Hi Fastfreta!

      I've never considered myself particularly good looking, but others do, strangely enough. The only real fault they seem to notice is that I'm a bit too skinny, although I never emphasize it.

      Whatever, we should all consider ourselves lucky to have what we have and use what we have to our best advantage - play cleverly with the cards we've been dealt.

      I like what you say about some people laughing at others in order to divert from their own physical faults - I've always thought that, but not in such crystal clear terms.

      Enjoyed this thought provoking Hub!

      All the best, Camlo

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 5 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you so much camlo, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I like your phrase, "play Cleverly," I wish I'd put it that way. Thank you for coming and leaving such a wonderful addition to my hub. Please come back soon.

    • nina64 profile image

      nina64 5 years ago from chicago, Illinois

      Hello Fastfreta, while reading this hub, I found myself almost in tears. As a child growing up, I was subjected to humiliation and torment by my peers and even by someone who was close to me. But through a lot of prayer down thru the years, I was able to overcome this issue and I found myself loving me as I am!!!!! Learning to accept and love myself is a big accomplishment for me. No matter who says what about me, I hold my head up and live life like there is no tommorrow. Thank you for such a well written hub.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 5 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you Nina. What a shame, and a pity that people have to make themselves feel good by tormenting others. I'll just bet your tormentors had something they were ashamed of, or was trying to play down. Even if they didn't they were not happy with themselves, so you became their tonic for what ailed them. I'm glad you've gotten past it, and doing well. So you go girl, and don't let anyone else ever make you feel less than you are. Thank you for stopping, looking to hear from you again.

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 5 years ago from USA

      I agree with you. We really do need to look on the positive side and not focus on the shortcomings, since they really aren't as short as we think they are. Well written hub - voted up.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 5 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you so very much, Millionaire Tips, for stopping and taking time from your very busy schedule to leave a comment. I'll certainly be seeing you around the community, the hubbing community that is.

    • profile image

      jenny 5 years ago

      Thankyou for your wonderful words. I just had my first child 9 weeks ago, a little boy. He was born with achondroplasia (he is a person of short stature or a dwarf). In my eyes he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and I love him to bits. My only consern has is that people can be cruel and I'm worried he'll be picked on because he is different. I've already been struggling to think of the right words to tell him as he grows as to why he's different to the other kids and to help him accept his differences and how to be strong if others pick on him. So thankyou so much.Jenny

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 5 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you Jenny for stopping, and for that very nice comment. You certainly have a wonderful attitude, and I applaud you for it. My suggestion is get in touch with parents like yourself, I'm sure they have good advice that will help you cross that bridge when you get to it. But until then, continue to enjoy you beautiful little boy,

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago

      This Hub is really cool and quite needful too. Thank you for sharing your discerning wisdom with us. You gave excellent advice. Well done!!

      James :D

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 4 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks James. Oh by the way, if you didn't see it in the forum. I will be on the Today Show, Wednesday Dec 5, promoting a show that I will be a part of on TLC that night. This all came from an article that I wrote here, about cleaning.

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 4 years ago from South Carolina

      I agree that sometimes changing our attitude and the way we look at something is all that's needed to get us on a more positive track.

      Enjoyed this hub and am voting it up across the board except for funny.

      Also, wanted to congratulate you on your upcoming Today Show appearance next week. Looks like your great attitude is opening up doors of opportunity for you.

      Good luck.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 4 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks so much Happyboomernurse, you're very kind.

      I still can't believe that I'm actually going to be on the show.

      Again thank you for stopping and leaving me that vote of confidence.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago

      Television!!?? Wow! Congratulations. I will definitely tune in to see you. That is awesome.

    • Rusticliving profile image

      Elizabeth Rayen 4 years ago from California

      Amazing hub! I'm sorry I missed the show, but I am certainly happy that I found this hub and.... YOU! Thumbs up and shared! ♥

    • elle64 profile image

      elle64 4 years ago from Scandinavia

      You are so cool- evergreen topic.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 4 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks Rusticliving and elle64, you both are so kind to take the time to read this hub and leaving comments.

    • alifeofdesign profile image

      Graham Gifford 4 years ago from New Hamphire

      fastfreta, you close your hub with a fabulous recommendation, "ask someone". That is critical and we should all be doing just that! There is a new commercial on the TV. It shows one women (woman A) asking another where she got her shirt. The woman (woman A) replies Sears sheepishly because she assumes the woman asking her thinks it's unattractive. The commercial continues with another woman asking the woman A where she bought her dress. Again, woman A replies in a whisper, "Sears", not sure if she's about to be told she looks awful...

      The commercial is obviously for Sears, but the message can be applied to so many of us. Rather than be assured in our looks, our intelligence, we doubt ourselves and try to play other's cards.

      Nice hub-

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 4 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you alifeofdesign for your validation of this hub. Thinking of the Sears commercial, I've got to observe it a little closer, you've made some good points.

      Again, thank you so much for stopping and taking time to leave those thought provoking words.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 3 years ago from United States

      Freta, This is an excellent hub. It seems children can't even be satisfied with their appearance, probably thanks to TV and size 0 people. I think this is an excellent to address and you covered it very well.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 3 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you so much Pamela for taking the time to leave a nice comment and validating my thoughts in this hub.

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 3 years ago from California

      Love, Love ,Love this hub. Going to share it. My maiden name is Real, one of my brothers was at his high school reunion and someone said to him, " is that you 'Un Real'. My other brother was the Real George. I was Judy and Judy didn't really make for a nick name. Un was hurt that someone remembered that 50 years later. To detract from being blind in one eye I learned how to smile. Smiling is my beauty. Smiling makes you feel good, makes other feel good and changes your attitude.

    • fastfreta profile image
      Author

      Alfreta Sailor 3 years ago from Southern California

      Hi tirelesstraveler, thanks. I just published my first book, "Season's Change, So Can You" and I used this hub as my first chapter, because this is also my favorite. I guess because I run into so many people who think their lives revolve around their supposed maladies. Again thanks for your input.

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