Public Breastfeeding: Oh, it offends you? Allow me to tell you how much that matters.

Ok, most states have a law protecting women against harassment and discrimination when they need to feed their child in public. AWESOME. Never mind the fact that it is hugely sad that this is even needed in our "modern" nation.

Breastfeeding is the OBVIOUS way all mammals are intended to feed their offspring, science 101 taught us this, right?

Question: WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE SEE A WOMAN FEEDING HER CHILD FROM HER BREAST AS RUDE, UNNATURAL, OR SEXUAL IN ANY WAY???

I have been surfing the net tonight, and researching the laws on breastfeeding in public in Massachusetts, as I fully plan on feeding my new baby whenever he is hungry, wherever I happen to be. I don't really care who likes it or doesn't, but I saw some...interesting...commentary from some really intelligent (pffft) sounding folks on some forums.

So...what all you uptight naysayers against breastfeeding in public are shouting out is that, in order not to offend some random stranger's insecure and unfounded sensibilities, an INFANT should have to wait to eat until mom can find cover? Or mom should either give up her wish(and those of the health community at large) to breastfeed and switch to bottles when she can't be home? Perhaps she should drop what she is doing and go out to her car or sit in a bathroom to feed her child so you can sit there and complain about a different topic without having to momentarily walk by someone with a baby covered by a blankey?

Mom should trade the comfort of herself and her infant for the comfort of an "adult" she doesn't even know? This seems like a reasonable idea to you folks?

Please, pull your heads out of your derrieres. Thanks.

If you say "Why yes, both mother and child should seriously inconvenience themselves so that I may eat my big mac without having to avert my eyes from something I do not agree with", you should all then realize 2 important facts:

1. INFANTS DO NOT HAVE A PAUSE BUTTON. You cannot tell a baby to "Wait until we get home for lunch" like a child. They do not take being hungry kindly. THEY WILL SCREAM UNTIL THEY ARE FED. So, bigots, would you rather see a woman discreetly feeding her infant under a blanket at the mall, or deal with a screaming baby instead? I bet anything you complain just as snottily about both.

2. NOBODY cares what you think, so shut up. Guess what? EVEN THE GOVERNMENT thinks breast feeding is fine, no matter where mom is, and she doesn't even HAVE to cover her breast!

Here's another fact: Human breast milk is easily digested, because, as I am sure you must know, IT IS WHAT THE HUMAN BODY HAS INTENDED AS NUTRITIOUS FOOD FOR THE HUMAN BABY. Not reformulated, additive injected, powdered cow's milk (or the soy based crap, wtf is up with that?).

COWS MILK IS FOR BABY COWS. HUMAN MILK IS FOR BABY HUMANS. PERIOD.

Formula was created for dire situations, where it was not possible for mom to feed her child naturally due to some medical cause. It was not intended to replace breastfeeding, but to assist people who couldn't do so. It was an acceptable way to keep your child from starving to death. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman simply choosing it over breastfeeding, however, there IS something SERIOUSLY wrong with getting pissed off at a woman who chooses breastfeeding over bottle, because you might see some side boob.

I do not know how or when people magically decided that a bottle was the only way babies should eat, and that breastfeeding is somehow shameful. That makes absolutely NO SENSE AT ALL to me. Maybe if your mommies had breastfed you, you wouldn't be so completely unintelligent and unreasonable. I'm just saying.

Most breastfed babies need to eat every 2 hours. Are you seriously suggesting, IN REAL LIFE, that these mothers should just stay home if they cannot accomplish their errands in under 2 hours? Or they need to go hide somewhere? Or drop their intended purchases, run through the mall and parking lot to the car whenever baby gets hungry? FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE? Who are you, exactly? The president?

Yeah, of totally misplaced and unfounded bigotry, apparently.

I ask you this: Say you see a cat or dog nursing their litter, do you act all shocked? Do you cover your child's eyes? Do you carry on about indecency?

Or do you go "awwwwwwwwww" and want to pet one?

PSST...guess what? Little Fluffy over there is ALWAYS NAKED! Her nips show CONSTANTLY! Quick, throw a hissy fit!!! Write congress about instituting a law for all animals to wear bras and panties!!! Better yet, go online and complain on a Nature Documentary forum about it!!! While you're at it, go tell the animals at the zoo to go in the den when its time to nurse the young! HOW DARE THEY DO SOMETHING SO HORRID RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES! You should picket the zoo! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CHILDREN MIGHT BE WATCHING!!!!!

*facepalm*

That was dumb, right? I mean, "animals don't know any better", right? That's why Rex wasn't tossed in the pound for biffing Fluffy in the front yard. "It's different for people", aye? Ok...

Now I ask this: Why is it acceptable for other mammalian species to feed their children from their breast whenever the babies need to eat, but it is not okay for us?

People are so damn unfathomable.

Here's a thought...how about you TURN YOUR HEAD and LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE if you don't want to see a woman feed her child, and keep your neurosis to yourself, instead of thinking it's perfectly okay to make someone with a baby jump through hoops so you can be a bigoted jerk? Or, even better, go see a psychiatrist to help you figure out what repressed trauma or guilt-motivated phobia has caused you to view the simple act of feeding a baby as something despicable (or even sexual...which is YOUR issue, not the mother's, and you DEFINITELY need that head shrinking.).

Try this: Next time you go out anywhere, drop what you are doing and go sit in your car for half an hour every 2 hours. Try it in mid-winter, or high summer. THAT would be fun! Do this for a week, everywhere you go, then go and tell all these moms that they should have to do this with their baby, every 2 hours, no matter what, for maybe 6 months or however long they wish to breast feed, so they cannot accidentally offend some stranger somewhere.

I find you all ridiculous for even thinking you are so much better than other people, that you have some right to expect them to do these things for your comfort, when you obviously do not care one whit about anyone else's.

Why on EARTH would you expect a mom to care more about your sensibilities than making her infant satisfied and healthy, when and where he needs it? Why would you feel a need to put a woman and her child's life on hold, make them go stash themselves in some dark corner to feed him? Or carry around a heavy bag full of ice packs and bottles of cold expressed milk, when her own breast is right there, full of warm, fresh, nutritious milk?

Here's what I really want to know...why should SHE care about YOU?

So, in closing, what are you staring at strangers in public for, anyway? That's ACTUALLY rude, you know...unlike breastfeeding. Know how many times I have seen a woman breastfeed in public? NEVER. I'm sure I've been around it, but I never noticed. Because I don't go around watching other folks, I mind my own.

Get a life, get your self-righteousness under control, and get your head out of your ass.