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Pettychoke Junction (or Ode to the Showdown at the Dnc 2020)

Updated on February 12, 2020
bethperry profile image

Beth Perry likes to keep up with political theater, with or without a big box of popcorn. She is an American and a voter from Tennessee.

Well, it's been four years since Donald Trump got into office and the upcoming Presidential election will be here before we know it. This time 'round the Democratic party has seen a field of candidates as large or larger than that of the Republican field in 2016. As is custom, many of these once hopeful Democrats have already given up their quest or decided the time just isn't right. Numerous others, however, remain in running. These determined contenders have already battled for dominance in the Iowa caucus as well as the New Hampshire Primary. Very soon they will be doing it again in the South Carolina Primary. As it stands at this time, their rankings are surprisingly close. There is not a clear leader among them. So we are left clueless as who will get the nomination. Will the Democratic Party end up with a proven socialist nominee like Bernie Sanders? Or maybe Senator (and former school teacher) Elizabeth Warren? How about female military veteran Tulsi Gabbard? Perhaps it will be the fresh-faced Mayor Pete Buttigieg - who would be the first admittedly gay Presidential nominee in U.S. history? Certainly former NYC Mayor and business mogul Mike Bloomberg stands as good a chance getting his way into the White House as any other billionaire, right?

While all this campaigning keeps political addicts holding their breath for favorable updates on their candidate of choice, the truth is we won't have any definitive answer until the Democratic National Convention in July. Until then the candidates will will have to do as candidates have been doing for generations - hold rallies, roll out sparkling promises, kiss babies and mud-sling like there's no tomorrow. Meanwhile, the rest of us will simply have to wait the process out.

I've been wearing my patient hat, but I thought why not have a little fun with the whole long-drawn-out process? In this spirit I came up with a little poem. It could perhaps more aptly be called a jingle as I got the idea from watching the classic TV show "Petticoat Junction." If you know the lyrics to the show's theme song, then you can sing this poem. Although the poem is not an endorsement of any single candidate with this presentation I aimed to be inclusive, and have made either mention or at least given image homage to those candidates who still have their heads in the race (as of this date anyway).

Hopefully you'll enjoy singing the jingle. It may bring you a little calm while you're waiting for the release of that latest poll or when biting your nails for the final vote tally in the next primary. I have a feeling that even the most hardcore conservative voter might enjoy singing it. And who knows, whatever your political affiliation, you could even find yourself humming it on the way to cast your vote come November 3.

Pettychoke Junction

~ a poem that can be easily memorized (and sang if you know the lyrics to the "Petticoat Junction" theme song). In case you are unfamiliar with that theme song, you can hear it on video at the end of this post.

Come ride the candidate train

that is rolling down the tracks

to the junction

forget about '16

it is time to prepare

for this function.

Lots of curves

you bet!

Even more when you get

to the junction.

Pettychoke Junction!

There's a little place

called the DNC

with lots of frills

at the junction;

it takes orders from Hill

she owns it with Bill

at the junction.

And here's Uncle Joe,

he's a movin' kind of slow

at the junction.

Lots of curves

you bet!

Even more when you get

to the junction.

Poor gramps Bernie

he looks like Homer Bedloe

at the junction,

and in case you didn't know

Mike wants to buy the show

at the junction.

Lots of curves

you bet!

Wait, MUCH more once you get

to the junction.

Pettychoke Junction!

Just in case you are someone who has never watched "Petticoat Junction" (and have no idea what the lyrics are), here's the show's opening along with the theme song: This song was composed by the show's creator Paul Henning and radio legend Curt Massey, who also happened to perform it. During the series' run the song was also recorded by the American bluegrass band, Flatt & Scruggs and the Foggy Mountain Boys. Their rendition went on to become a gold record.

Comments

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  • bethperry profile imageAUTHOR

    Beth Perry 

    12 days ago from Tennesee

    Hi Devika! I have been around, though my presence here has been more low-key during the last couple of years. Thanks much for dropping in!

  • bethperry profile imageAUTHOR

    Beth Perry 

    12 days ago from Tennesee

    John Hansen, thank-you much.

  • DDE profile image

    Devika Primić 

    12 days ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

    This is funny and haven't heard from you for ages.

  • Jodah profile image

    John Hansen 

    12 days ago from Queensland Australia

    This was great Beth. I used to love Petticoat Junction and the theme song. This was perfect. Well done.

  • bethperry profile imageAUTHOR

    Beth Perry 

    12 days ago from Tennesee

    Hi and thanks Paula! Hope you are doing well and happy :)

  • fpherj48 profile image

    Paula 

    12 days ago from UpstateWestern,New York

    Beth! Hi there stranger, Haven't seen you in forever and I've missed you. After reading this hilarious hub....I know why I missed you!!! LOL!! Cheers, Paula

  • bethperry profile imageAUTHOR

    Beth Perry 

    13 days ago from Tennesee

    Thanks very much, T! And I got a good laugh from the "Indian" Warren video!

  • tsadjatko profile image

    13 days ago from now on

    This is hilarious!! Well done! Who says Hollywood has nothing good to say! I’m sending this to everyone I know (and I am telling her to send it everywhere else :-)

    Hey, this is right up your alley!

    https://youtu.be/I7FyyVwYEds

  • bethperry profile imageAUTHOR

    Beth Perry 

    13 days ago from Tennesee

    Wba108, glad you enjoyed it and thanks for dropping by!

  • wba108@yahoo.com profile image

    wba108@yahoo.com 

    13 days ago from upstate, NY

    I love it! A hilarious look at the delusional left!

    The pic of the typical snotty self-important liberal professor speaks volumes. She could represent the train full of hot air and smoke at the junction!

    Just add sleepy Joe and rest of the liberal freak show and you have a wonderful satire of today's democrat party!

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