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Second chance for sex offenders

Updated on October 17, 2013
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prison cell | Source

Some basics often not told by media

I never had much to do with this topic, until now and the more I learn the more I want to share with the public. No I am not afraid of the reaction, I am in hope that it makes some people think again and get a bit more educated instead of following the media and the hype, the wrongful judgement and if I reach just a few, it was worth it.

First of all I agree with everyone, that sex offense is a terrible wrong doing. No doubt and I also agree with punishment, but I strongly disagree with the American justice and how society reacts and even makes it worse and does their own share to create these problems.

There are very different kind of sexual offenses, definitely not just offense towards children. There are juvenile offenses, there are offenses towards adults, offenses of exposure name it. But unfortunately, what comes to everybody's mind is sexual offense towards children which could not be any further from the truth. Not every sex offender is any danger for your child, many of them have their own children, love them to death and would never ever harm a child as a matter of fact.

When someone is found guilty of sex offense, they can get up to a lifetime sentence, same as for killing someone. I find this shocking, because killing someone is far beyond. Even more strange is the fact that a murderer who gets set free will not be on any public registry, no flyers will be send out to the neighborhood to be warned like it is done with sex offenders. Nobody will know of his crime and he can live right next door but everybody can point the finger at a sex offender, because the entire neighborhood is being informed.

Let's now look at some facts that the media never brings to light and often does not present the true facts. The re-offense rate of sex offenders is the lowest of all criminals! Yet, they are treated like they could do it again the very next day. The rate of re-offense is so low, that it is ironic why there is such a drama. Sex offenders are monitored in many ways, have to report monthly or even in shorter terms with their PO officer. They can't be out from 10PM to 6AM every is all monitored, every move is monitored.

The sex offender registry

Many parents want to protect their children from sex offenders and understandable don't ever want anything to happen to them. Unfortunately, pointing with their fingers at the sex offender who lives 3 houses down the street doesn't do any good at all. The fact is that most sex offenders who attack children come from within the family or close friends - not the "bad" neighbor. So rather watch out within your circle rather than pointing out the neighbor is a far better protection. I have seriously no clue why parents want to use a sex offender registry to protect their children.

The public good, of no help in any way. This list is more of a hype than anything else, an offense against the sex offender, from my point of view. And most of all, does not work or help. If a sex offender truly wants to offend again, which is so rare.....he can go anywhere in his county and offend. It does not have to be around the corner in his neighborhood.

Many sex offenders get out of prison and have no place to go...end up living homeless, not even listed or registered anywhere. The reason: nobody wants to give them a home and this puts the community actually into more risk, because they don't know their whereabouts, if one of them really wants to re-offend, which is very unlikely.

But they live out on the streets and can't find their way back into society, because society shuns them so badly, instead of giving them a second chance and to make it right. They can't find work and keep on depending on welfare etc. In the end they feel so low and worthless....that they end up not caring at all and do another crime....but very surely not even sex offense, but no matter what kind of will get them back into prison for life. Prison costs society a lot of money, so those who shun them, bring them back there and we pay the price.

One more fact, only a fraction of sex offenders are being caught....I read (unfortunately I can't find the source but will add if I do find it, as a link) that only about 20% are being caught!!! Many sex abuses are never being reported for all kind of reasons. And I include myself - I have been nearly raped and I have been "temporarily" kidnapped as a teenager, but I never told anyone. There are too many different reasons why someone would not report it and I don't want to go into detail about it. The only person I shared it with is my boyfriend, a registered sex offender....

One last thing...please come forward, if you know of a case, where the registry truly prevented anything. Have you heard of anything ever? I am sure the media would bring it out clearly to support the registry...yet, it hasn't happened, yet....

How we truly can help and make things better

All that the sex offender a second chance and to show that they are still humans and willing to make it better. They lost everything when they were put into prison and have to start from scratch...after 15 yrs or more most of the time.....integrate into society again and struggling at all ends, because of all the barriers. They paid for their action and we are not to punish more, the price has been paid. Why keep on punishing? Do you want to be punished for something you already have been punished for?

We need to learn that even sex offenders need a second chance and when we give it to them, you will be surprised what a wonderful person you might find behind them. They are humans who made a terrible mistake and regret deeply what they have done, most of them. Most of them are not mentally sick, many are not offenders of children. Listen to their stories, how they ended up with the offense, before you judge them. Many times it lies within the families, who did not talk about sex and they feel like something is wrong with them but just can't talk about it and feel trapped, sometimes they feel dirty and unworthy about their thoughts, while they are not even aware that there is nothing wrong.....

This society needs to learn to talk more open about sex in order to create less sex offenders, families need to open up to it with their growing teenagers, so that they will be able to share their feelings and thoughts. And when they are raised with open communication, the chances that they will not tolerate any sexual inappropriate behavior from family or friends and know about it, they are safer. Thinking about sex is a natural thing for every human being and the way we think is usually nothing to be ashamed of.

Now a very critical question: What would you do if your own child or a family member gets caught in a sex offense? Would you stand by that person? Or would you turn away? It can happen to anyone of us.All the families of the sex offenders never think it would be one within their family....until it happens. And it is devastating to the family....but you also know what a great person is behind this one who just committed such an awful crime....Now what?

I am guilty myself, I used to shun everybody who had any kind of criminal history. But I was taught a big lesson and I am thankful for it. I learned that behind every criminal is a human being, and sometimes wonderful human beings and we have to learn to separate their crime and their personality. Their crime does not define who they are.Don't follow the media blindly, get the facts and truth behind sex offenders before you keep on judging.

They deserve a second chance and when we give it to them, you will be surprised what you will get back in return. So, all I ask you....don't judge the way I used to judge, because you might miss out on a wonderful person you would be looking for all your life, but you are too blind to see and open your heart, to forgive and to give a second chance to someone who deserves it.

Now my personal story

I have met a sex offender and did fall in love with him. He is the best man I have ever met in my entire life and there is not a single day that goes by that I am in awe about how wonderful he is.

He told me very early on about his past, he shared it with me face to face, not hiding behind email or chat. Did I have my own thoughts? You bet, yes it took me a few days and sleepless nights and he knows. But I saw beyond his past and the more I gave him a chance the more distant his past is to me. His past does not define him in any way, he regrets deeply what he did, he told me what he did, he told me how it all happened, he shared everything with me.

I used to stay clear of anyone who has been in prison, I had to work with some who were in prison and at first I had a funny feeling, because I have very high ethics and morals, but it was my first experience. I wasn't sure about this person, there was not a 100% trust....

When I met my boyfriend, he flipped everything upside down what I learned and knew about people from prison. He turned my entire life upside down and I don't regret it for a second. I have chosen a life with him and I know it will be rough - but I know with all my heart he is worth it and I would put my own life down the line for him. I know I could never find a better person than him.

I told all my close friends about him and his past, I did not want to hide, because I feel sure about him and I stand behind him for who he is. He paid his price and I don't have the right to judge and punish. I hope that I can put all the worries and fears of my friends to rest by showing what he does to me, how good life has become with him and so far it seems to go that way. My friends are happy for me and for him.


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      Ashley 13 months ago

      Hello. Stumbled upon this while doing research. I could really use someone's help. I am in a similar situation and I feel helpless. I have tried reaching out to anyone and everyone that I can. If anyone can help I would like to get together either through email or anything to get some questions answered for me. Thank you so much.

    • beadreamer247 profile image

      beadreamer247 18 months ago from Zephyrhills, FL

      I agree, there are a few sex offenders who just won't change. But because of a few, we cannot punish thousands. There is, here in Florida a very well respected and known psychologist, who is also known to the courts and well respected there, who has developed a very reliable evaluation system and this should be applied on a regular basis for all more serious sex offenses. Sex offenders should get another chance, laws need to change in many ways and not established just because society screams for it. Society most of the time does not have the knowledge and understanding, in addition to being brainwashed and falsely informed by media, to determine what laws and changes should be applied. Politicians are at fault big time here, they just want to get the approval of society, that's all that matters, but in the long run they are destroying society, in what they are doing.

      Stricter laws should be applied in the beginning of sex offenders probation and then progressively reduced as they are being supervised. After 5-10 years (depending on the severity of the crime) sex offenders should be evaluated again and based off that, their probation should be either terminated or adjusted.

      Society is probably not even aware of how much all their crazy laws even cost to maintain and how much trouble those laws are actually creating and that they actually make things worse instead of safer and better.

    • Brynn Thorssen profile image

      Carrie Peterson 2 years ago from Colorado Springs, CO

      Although I agree with you in theory (I wrote my own hub about this), and believe many of the laws must be changed because some of them are downright ridiculous, there are some abnormal tendencies that, once acted upon, would be that point of no turning back. My friend was convicted of an offense that was not considered abnormal, but I know we have run into people around town that he said committed reprehensible acts, sometimes against their own pre-pubescent relatives.

      He himself was so disgusted by these acts that he and another man had to "mutiny" out of their sex offender classes, because for some inexplicable reason they put him (statutory with a 14 year old when he was 19) and the other guy (who streaked across a football field) in with men who, for example, had raped their granddaughter. We saw that guy in the pharmacy once. And he seemed totally and completely normal.

      Another time, when I went with him to register, there was a guy who, by the end of conversation, admitted that he had violently raped a teenage girl many years before (people tell me things, it's a curse). And he STILL didn't take responsibility for it or see that it was really wrong. Evil just POURED out of this guy, and he was free!

      The biggest problem is that the "sex offender" label is far, far too broad. The reality is, if they're that bad, they shouldn't be out of jail. But some of these guys (and the occasional woman) 100% deserve what they get.

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      Clementheart 3 years ago

      These articles and comments bring to light so much.

      The really sad thing is. People do not want to know the truth or they do not care about the truth in the USA. I was raped by a 16 year old family member with a mental illness. The day he raped me he told his counselor he was being sexually molested by me.

      I spent 4 years fighting the charges. Even though the offender eventually wrote letters to the D.A's office saying his original statement was false. Because I was accused I was refused Therapy for those 4 years.

      By the Grace of God, my public defender believed in me, though originally I was told to confess and take a plea because in over 20 years as an attorney in Lancaster County, Pa. my attorney had never seen anyone go to court even with evidence that they did not do it and be acquitted. I was basically told if you are accused you are guilty in the eyes of the legal system.

      I fought it anyway, spent 9 months in the county prison because I was so ignorant of criminal law that i thought when the judge said 'no 10%' meant I could not get a bail bondsman.

      Again by the grace of God another inmate in the prison became my guardian angel and nagged me into calling her bailbondsman

      By the Grace of God after 4 years the charges were dropped.

      By the way, if you are accused and are a devout Christian that counts AGAINST you in the legal system as a sex offender.

    • jwarpony profile image

      jwarpony 3 years ago

      Thank you for this. I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse. My avarice towards sex offenders was so great that when I went to prison for a non-sexual crime, I went with the goal of hurting as many sex offenders as I could. Thank God that my eyes were opened in prison and I began to see people with my "Jesus Goggles" on instead of through my own eyes. Since releasing, I have met a man who is involved in the ministry that I too am involved with, and he is a sex offender. I've never met a more caring, kind, genuine, and loving man before in my life. I've been scared because of the stigma, but this has opened my heart even more. Thank you.

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      Rose 3 years ago

      I am married to a sex offender. He came out and told me everything when we started getting serious with each other. I have four kids of my own and they love him dearly. He never touched a child ever. He was convicted of child pornography. I truly feel for him after what he has lived through in his life. He was brought up in an unemotional family and while he was a cadet as a child he was sexually abused for many years by someone who was supposed to be there to help him. This has messed him up emotionally and mentally. He was doing so good until recently. He started thinking about his past more and more and all the bad things. Now he is facing life in prison for child pornography which he did not do for kicks, it is him trying to understand why someone would do what a child and post it for others to see. It makes him sick that someone would this. I know he needs help to get his mind better. I know he should of never done what he did, but I understand why and how much he is hurting inside. I truly do not feel he should end up in prison for life for this. Especially when people who kill someone are out within 3 years or more but rarely in for life. I feel this is going to far and I just wish I could have my husband home again and so do my kids who see him as their dad.

    • beadreamer247 profile image

      beadreamer247 3 years ago from Zephyrhills, FL

      Steve, while I understand your anger, but I am not sure if your files have been destroyed entirely. They might have been sealed....And didn't you have an attorney?

      Please understand that this blog is not intended to release anger but far more trying to make people think and do research before judging, hoping people will realize that some wrong doing is being done towards sex offenders.

      Many people don't realize that NOBODY is ever safe from being affected by it, every human being has potential to do something bad and it can hit your own family at any time. Now you say it will never happen and tomorrow you can receive a call that your own child got arrested....My boyfriend's parents, none of their friends and nobody who knew my boyfriend ever thought this could happen.......until it did. The challenges not only the sex offender faces but also family is destructive unhealthy and wrong.

    • beadreamer247 profile image

      beadreamer247 3 years ago from Zephyrhills, FL


      I am sorry for what is happening to you. Protecting children is a must, but with the current laws we don't really do any well serving protection and as harsh as it might sound....but it is impossible to protect our children from "EVERYTHING", not even a helicopter parent will do the job. It's a shame but reality and no matter how many more laws we might won't give us more security AND makes the children less prepared, scared and distant to reality and facing challenges. The best protection comes from self protection and teaching children the right things.

      All the time we read about people who spent years behind bars and turn out to be innocent, it's a shame and nothing can repay their loss, not even money.

      The way things go about sex offenders right now are just so much blind hatred without knowing facts and often only getting half the truth, plus that the American Society has to get more real about sex in many ways. First of all we live in the 20th century, where so called underage teens have sex with each other and I don't see anything wrong with that. Other countries allow prostitution - I feel, if a woman chooses freely to do that it is her personal choice and should not be illegal. I would never do it and don't like it, but it is their body and their choice. Many other countries are much more relaxed and open about sex, which helps many to talk more openly about it.

      My boyfriend is so relieved that I have no issues talking about it and wished he had that opportunity back, when he needed it.....he probably never would have done what he did, because he would have felt a lot different about himself and sex. But up to this day I notice so much tabu talking about sex in this country.....while everybody does it and enjoys it one way or another. I will look up your website as soon as I get a chance.

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      Steve Orringer 3 years ago from Princeton, North Carolina

      In today's society, there are actually people that are Innocent of the charges against.them. See my site at If you believe in my innocence, I would like to ask you to sign my petitions. I believe that a child molester is a very sick individual. However, a person that would encourage a child to lie about being sexually abused when it did not happenis a sick individual too. There are no consequences for people that wrongfully accuse someone and I will push for new laws until we can get them changed. I want children protected, the innocent to be cleared and set free, and the really guilty ones punished. I am sick and tired of living a lie for something I did not do. I will be actively calling every TV show until someone will air my story. It is a shocker where my counsel worked for the state. I can actually prove this.

    • beadreamer247 profile image

      beadreamer247 3 years ago from Zephyrhills, FL


      I am sorry for what you had to experience. But never giving a second chance won't make things better in any way and you are putting every sex offender in the same bucket. Each situation is unique and we also have to see if someone changed or not, what the circumstances were that lead to the bad act and many more facts. Most of all the truth, which media is not disclosing. And fresh wounds have to heal and take time, don't judge when you are still so hurt. Nothing will get better the way sex offenders are treated right ones will be born and they are put in worse situations actually with higher risks to do someone harm.

      Society does not allow them to turn to anyone, because even just talking about their problems can get them into so much trouble and rejection, that they are alone with their distress. We need to provide open doors and not shun and despite and hatred.

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      Steve Orringer 3 years ago from Princeton, North Carolina

      I am looking for an attorney that is caring and compassionate that wants to see a wrongfully accused and convicted person get justice. Also, help me push for new laws making it fair for both children and the falsely accused. Read my story at and you can get up with me. You can follow me on Twitter at SeekJustice1. Thanks for all of your support and believing in my innocence. It is greatly appreciated.

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      Steve Orringer 3 years ago from Princeton, North Carolina

      Hello naniof7,

      It is good that you want to be very supportive of him. He needs that right now because it is not easy as you know. I would be happy to give him and you advice. I was falsely convicted too, but my case has a something in it that is shocking. My accuser confessed. My lawyer HID the audio taped confession from the jury. He also got me charged and convicted of Intimidation of a Witness, just to work with the state and cover the confession up. Read my story - I would like for you to sign my petitions. They are all under the petitions tab on my site. I am sorry that you all are going through this too. It is very hard finding a job. So, he better think about working for himself. It can be done. I have done it for 25 years. Feel free to comment on my blogs too. They are and the other one is I am willing to give you advice on what you should do to get through it. If he is innocent, do not let this false allegation ruin your lives. Children can lie, a lot of this is by vindictive parents. Read my story and you will be shocked on how could this happen in America. If your boyfriend wants some encouragement, tell him to comment and I will help him through it. It is wrong what has happened and I am pushing for new laws to both protect children and make consequences for people who wrongfully accuse people of child sexual abuse. I can clearly show it did not happen in my case.

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      naniof7 3 years ago

      I am so glad I found this because today I truly need this. I have been seeing a sex offender for almost 4 months.

      He told me all about his conviction a week after we met and yes I could have run but I choose to listen to his story. He was convicted in 93 and married and an old girlfriends daughter said he touched her in 89 but didn't say anything for a few years. When he told me I truly believed he was innocent because he was almost in tears crying and kept saying how this has ruined his life for ever.

      He said it is hard to get a job it is hard to rent a place and it is hard to stay in a relationship because every one runs when he tells them.

      My children are all grown and live in different states and I felt I didn't have to tell them but I would if we were going to see them and if my kids said we don't want him to visit I would be ok with that.

      I live with my brother and his family. My boyfriend has been in the house 4 times top to use the bathroom and only for about 5 minutes. We stay away from the kids we have never gone and done anything with the kids we never even hang at the house because he knows first hand all it takes is one story and the nightmare starts again.

      He made a remark that my brother over heard and him and his wife looked him up and found his "dirt" as he likes to call it.

      They told me he is not allowed here period nor is he allowed near the kids. Yes I get they are mad I didn't tell them but like I said this is not a place we stay at and we stayed away from the kids. Then they both took it upon themselves to message my grown adult children about my boy friends past which I feel was wrong but maybe I am wrong.

      I do not see him as monster or a bad man but being he was wrongly accused as a society there is no way he can ever live a normal life or find the happiness he so desires. He is the most wonderful man I have ever met and I applaud him for telling me his story.

      So right now my kids hate me and want me to end it with this man and the family I live with want me out.

      If they only get to know him they would see he is a good man.

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      Steve Orringer 3 years ago from Princeton, North Carolina

      I would like to say first that I may be convicted of Indecent Liberties with a Minor. I am completely innocent, can prove my innocence and yet no one seems to care that an injustice was done. I served all of my sentence. The child accuser in my case confessed that he was sorry and his own mother made him lie. Find it hard to believe? See my site and look under the Victim Impact and Confession tabs. You will be shocked. My site is . Please sign my petitions under the petitions tab. Not only have I been convicted, I have to work for myself. In today's society parents and adults can influence a child to lie. It clearly happened in my case. While a sex offender is a very sick individual, it takes a sicker person to make a child believe it happened. While I really am not guilty, I have to live with the fact the child confessed and be treated as if I did it for the rest of my life. It is just not fair!!

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      Scott Harvey 3 years ago from St Louis

      I was convicted back in 2000 and served a total of 9 years on probation. During my probation I was required to fill out a schedule a week in advance every week outlining my location, time that I would leave the house, time I arrived at a destination....location of that destination, time I left the destination...time I returned home. Anything outside of that was considered being "out of pocket" and would result in a violation. I was also subject to random home searches, computer forensic analysis, quarterly polygraphs by a former FBI forensics expert who not only ran the company, but also develops polygraph equipment and technology. This is a very stringent and restrictive way to live...but lets face it, I put myself in that situation and therefore had no right to complain. In that state, they also extend community notification to door to door flyers as well as a county and state website. I was threatened numerous times, and shot at once.....but again....WHO'S fault was it? MINE.

      Even now that I've been off of probation for 5 years, it can be tedious finding a landlord that is willing to rent to a registered offender...and this is something that is to be expected and accepted.

      Bottom line, when you live a blameworthy life, you must accept blame....when you live a praiseworthy life...then expect the same consideration of others who do the same.

      Does the system need to be reviewed and reformed? Perhaps in some cases, but again, those who choose to test the system, can expect to be tested in return.

      I can only vouch for how I live today and every day hence....know what I've done and be vigilant...if through this you find that I appear to be leading a law abiding's because I am.....but KNOW that I fully accept and admit to what I've done, and have no blame for those that view me with a jaundiced eye. As for vigilantes that choose to commit acts of harassment and murder in some misguided effort to "cleanse society" aware that you are a murderer who chooses to kill those you don't like...and what makes you any more of a comfort to society than I? Whom will you choose to dislike next...homosexuals? Jews? Republicans? People that grow tomatoes?????

    • Aplethora23 profile image

      AngPow 3 years ago from North Cali

      Hello Scott. It is commendable for you to humble yourself and lay the truth out on the table. It is the people who deny the truth and lie to themselves about their ulterior motives who are the dangerous ones. Did you read my hub about Jessica's Law? I'd be very interested in talking with you about your current housing situation and struggles with the way that the parole system is set up for the registered 290 offenders.

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      Scott 3 years ago

      I am a registered sex offender and have also completely confessed my offense truthfully to everyone I know at a friend level. It is a condition of my honor that I do so. Lying by omission is the primary tool of a committed offender's trade, and something he/she would NEVER do voluntarily!!! If a person you meet confides in you at this level, you can rest assured that the person has made a lifelong change for the better.

      This is the most difficult thing that I do on a regular basis, but if I am to be seen as an honorable and decent person, then people need to hear it from ME, and not through some other source. Tragically my victim many years ago was my own daughter who was nine at the time, but through the Grace of God and her belief in me, we have emerged not unscathed, but still a father and daughter that have a close relationship. She is now 25 and living a happy healthy life with a great career and a devoted and loving fiancé. I never ask for forgiveness, not even from her, but merely desire to have people get to know me the person, and not the sum of my past actions. I cannot UN-ring any bells, nor do I wish to, for had I not been punished for the life I led, I would have never stopped being the despicable person I was. In short, I only want from life and other people, what I earn and am deemed worthy to receive.

    • Aplethora23 profile image

      AngPow 3 years ago from North Cali

      Thank you for sharing, and for advocating.

      I also am married to someone who has committed a sexual offense in the past, and no, it was not against a child or even a minor. We have children together and he would never harm them.

      It was an extremely unfortunate situation, fueled by untreated drug and alcohol addictions on both sides of the incident.

      Anyway, I just want to let you know that you are not alone. I appreciate that there are more people out there who care not what the majority of the public thinks, and knows how to stay strong even when it feels like you are standing alone.

      I am here to talk if you wish! Let me know what you think of my new hub - please check it out, I just published it this morning. It is called "Jessica's Law and the Homeless Culture".

      Thanks much.

      Voted up & Following.

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      Mentally Retarded Sex Offender 3 years ago

      I am in a situation in which my husband is mentally retarded and was accused of a sex offense by a friend of my daughter. He is in jail right now and I miss him terribly. His trial has not yet come but I keep praying they cannot convict him as I know he would never truly hurt a flea if he realized he was. He said he "blacked out" when it happened, which, he often does when he is asleep or sleepwalking. I believe that might be the case here, so I'm hoping the judge will be careful in examining things and bringing the sentence. His sisters and mother and I are all very concerned as there are people telling me that they will disown me if I take him back even if he's not convicted. If you pray, please pray for us. He is a dear man that I know wants to be back with his family and fur family. We miss him!

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      lam2014 3 years ago

      I apologize for all the typos in my message above... I have a new phone and haven't turned off the auto-correct.

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      lam2014 3 years ago

      I guess you have a right to choose a person you are with and I realize in some cases *20 year old w/a consenting 17 almost 18 year old, for example shouldn't pay a big price for the offense-however the law is law and wrong is wrong! My daughter was victim to her teacher, twice her age! He groomed her and lead her into a situation she would have never found herself in otherwise! The mental/emotional scars are not easy to just get past, IF they are overcome at all! So to ask that people give sec offenders a second chance, especially knowing most cases are not reported is out of the question where I stand. Seeing/hearing the kids have come forward with statements of inappropriate conversations, compliments, etc still shocks me! To think of all I did to teach my daughter to be aware and how to remove herself from uncomfortable situations, knowing how smart and outgoing she is, I NEVER imagined she would be a victim in such manner! Sex offenders have something wrong with them, that when it involves a child of any age, they need to be kept watch of. Yes I think murderers should get the same treatment and notiff cations given as a sec offender--but second chances to sex offenders--no... no second chances! Don'the commit a crime that screen someone mentally/emotionally and changes the course of their lives-unless you expect to be haunted by it everyday!!!

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      powerofnow 3 years ago

      Sincere gratitude for the insights and balanced perspectives... this has been such a blessing to me right now to... I am now in the same situation as you are... and have older kids also and so it's a mixed bag of emotions from a mothers perspective too... I didn't see it coming, meeting a man with a past like this.... but something in my inner being was being called to look closer, look around and look past the obvious...there is a much bigger story here than just the crime.... It has been a roller coaster and at times scary because of the stigma attached to it.......yet I know my partner has been deeply remorseful, done the time, the work, the therapy and his own exploration to answer why and how what happened did... He is a rich and beautiful soul, gentle and has only ever showed me the very best values and care any human can have.. I chose to trust him... My children chose to trust him and its been a blessing.... he has learnt so much from all of this and is a better person now.. in fact he has become a teacher to me.....I would have missed this had I not given him a chance... his honesty right from the start has been a breath of fresh air.. yet he is haunted by his past too and the continual shame and fear of how people judge, react and always expect and think the worse despite us covering every aspect of his crime...He knows what he did was reckless and wrong.... has never made excuses for it but had to courage to own it and do everything in his power to correct himself and be better everyday..... I have stuck by him because its been worth it..... Wishing you continued happiness to you both....

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      beadreamer247 4 years ago from Zephyrhills, FL

      Yes, but unfortunately education is getting worse almost every year....And media influences so many people to go along with whatever they say and going with the stream, so that they can live the more comfortable way instead of speaking up to what they really think. There is a huge fear being an outsider with a different opinion.

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      epsonok0 4 years ago

      A lot of things in our world could be fixed with proper education.

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      beadreamer247 4 years ago from Zephyrhills, FL

      thank you epsonoko, I understand the desire to protect your children...I wished I could protect them from any harm, but it is simply impossible to ever do so.....children are being killed, children are being abducted, children are treated poorly by their own parents and even though there are laws who make it unlawful....there is unfortunately nothing we can do to guarantee anything, especially not a registry like that for sex offenders. Society needs to change, education and facts need to be brought to the public.

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      epsonok0 4 years ago

      great hub. Bravo. About time someone recognizes the twisted system the media and government have us believing. People scream protect the childeren. LOL ther is no protecting by putting someone on a registry. Educate your children and keep an eye on them and what they do. That is the answer. Not the billion dollar megans law scam.