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Can Bullies To Change?

Updated on September 2, 2012
Bullying | Source

I remember when I was a five year old I witnessed my first instance on bullying. A kid in our kindergarten class had brought a silver dollar to school and was showing it off. Another boy who was known for emotional outbursts and hitting other kids ran up and grabbed the silver dollar away. He then pushed the kid that had brought the silver dollar to school and started walking away leaving the boy on the ground crying. Back in then (I say that like I'm so old) teachers actually did something about bullying without having their hands tied by risking lawsuits, etc. After telling the teacher she got the silver dollar back from the bully and made him sit in the corner. Things were simple at that age.

I recall as I reached my early teens still in public school. A boy, we'll call him Park, used to ridicule me and another boy who didn't want to take showers after gym. Keeping in mind I was just reaching puberty and the boys shower room was just one large room with no dividers in which everyone went in to take a shower at once. Park would call us gay and just about everything else under the sun because we didn't shower with them after gym. Of course that made little sense. If we were gay I'm sure getting into a shower with a large group of naked boys wouldn't have bothered us. At the time I found it rather gross for us all to be showering together.

Park would change though as time went on. I think as we finished our last year of elementary school he experienced a personal tragedy in his life and it forced him to grow up. Less than two years later we were in high school and playing volley ball, another teen, we'll call him Liot, was angry because he was losing. He threw the volleyball and hit me square in the face. Park who was in the same class I was ran up to Liot and began yelling at him for what he did. Telling him to apologize to me. Liot didn't but at the time I was incredibly surprised by Park. He had grown up and was no longer a bully.

The same thing would eventually happen to Liot a few years later. By that time we were in our late teens and our last year of high school. He had mellowed and we even had an occasional conversation. He would ask me how I was doing, we discuss what we were going to do after graduation. It seemed he had grown up as well.

Throughout life as I got older I have seen that people do change, especially from children, to teens, to adulthood. The message I am trying to get across is that teachers, parents even other peers should work toward helping bullies fit into their future roles as functioning members of society. It is better to rehabilitate a bully as a child than to simply punish them and forget it because it is much easier than trying to rehabilitate an adult criminal who hasn't had anyone try to put him on the right path his whole life.

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    • terrektwo profile image

      Candle Hour 6 years ago from North America

      kathrynsunga - I really enjoy when I see these changes because it gives you reason to believe in society and people. There are so many things that make you loath society that when you see something that changes for the better you have to savor it.

    • kathrynsunga profile image

      kathrynsunga 6 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      This is a great hub! People have the ability to change the way they treat other people. Usually when they get older, they will get to realize things like these.

    • terrektwo profile image

      Candle Hour 6 years ago from North America

      sabrani44 - thanks for commenting on my article, I think people can change :)

    • sabrani44 profile image

      sabrani44 6 years ago

      Great hub! The stories told here were really surprising, and it helps us remember that people can really change. Keep up the good work!

    • terrektwo profile image

      Candle Hour 6 years ago from North America

      debbie roberts - you are right, it all starts at home, parents have to teach their children right from wrong and if they know they are acting that way toward other kids must do something about it.

    • terrektwo profile image

      Candle Hour 6 years ago from North America

      Angela Blair - I agree you need to help both and resolve the whole situation.

    • debbie roberts profile image

      Debbie Roberts 6 years ago from Greece

      I think we all have the ability to change if we choose to. I've seen monster children turn out to be decent adults and whilst I think there is nothing worse than being bullied, it's the most self esteem sapping thing that can happen to a child, I go with the idea of taking the time to teach bullies what they are doing and how they are making their victims feel like...

      It must be taught from a young age too, if a child of three shows signs of being a bully then he must be shown that why what he is doing is wrong. How many times are young children unwittingly encouraged to be bullies by adults laughing and dismissing what the child has done as amusing and cute as opposed to telling them they shouldn't be doing what ever they did.

      An interesting hub and thanks for sharing...

    • terrektwo profile image

      Candle Hour 6 years ago from North America

      DabbleYou - I'm sure that self realization is something that happens but to say we can't do anything to help someone becoming a bully to switch paths I can't really agree with. We should always try even if we think it's not getting through to some one day it may and that's enough for me to try. thanks for commenting.

    • Angela Blair profile image

      Angela Blair 6 years ago from Central Texas

      Excellent Hub and super advice. I agree self-realization does come into play at some point but that realization has a lot better chance of heading in the right direction with guidance and gentle suggestion.Parents have a huge influence as to their kids being bullies -- it's amazing how paying a bit of attention and knowing what's going on in kids lives helps -- not only the bullied but the bully. Best, Sis

    • DabbleYou profile image

      DabbleYou 6 years ago

      I think that bullies realize their own mistakes after a while and that's why they change. It's probably more about self-realization rather than people teaching them. But then, I could be wrong. I just think that self-realization is more effective than people teaching them because the truth is, no matter how many people tell them they're wrong, if they won't listen, there's really nothing much anyone else can do.

      Great hub, by the way. Cheers.

    • terrektwo profile image

      Candle Hour 6 years ago from North America

      writer20 - I understand any good method to bully prevention I support for sure. I think trying to turn them from their evil ways is something we needs to do as well.

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 6 years ago from Southern Nevada

      Here the teachers are trying get bullies to behave. Because a lot of children have been bullied over the internet and they commited suicide.