The Art of Wining Hearts

We appreciate the one who is heartthrob of everyone; in fact the strongest desire is proximity with everyone. We have seen heaps of efforts both at individual and collectively levels to realize the same. What an eminent person or a celebrity enjoys the status; we wish we could step into their shoes to get the same amount of respect, love and commitment. Winning the heart is an art that requires:

• Purity of heart,
• Command over heart
• Performance of heartfelt activities.

The world around us, family and society, provides ample opportunities to occupy a respectable place in their hearts. Because society in real sense is a union of hearts, here the process of peace and progress depends heavily on the condition of hearts. You may argue that the amount of love and respect one finds in other’s hearts speaks of his good self. Exactly, the nobility of a person is directly proportional to the amount of love in the hearts. The actual revolution of a society is revolution of hearts. So when we speak of winning the hearts, we speak of the betterment of society, the matter moves from individual plane to the societal one.

The art of winning hearts demands a rapt focus on both personal and social aspects. Since conquering heart is not that easy because…

• The very nature of heart is dynamic.
• It keeps on changing,
• It is as if we are trying to freeze the liquid mercury on our palms,
• It is as if we are standing and trying to write in a moving bus.

The heart changes its position, thus its intensive care is quite essential. With this brief outline of the heart’s dynamics, let us move on to the practical ways of winning the hearts. The discussion comprises of three domains of life, personal, familial and social. Each sphere of life has been discussed here with regard to the essential characters required, after that a check list has been furnished just to facilitate a self evaluation.

Be obedient to parents

Let us be dear to our parents first. Let it be our priority to live with them in home and in their hearts as well. Our parents are all well aware of in and out of our personalities, no matter how old we are and what position we hold, we remain a child to our parents; as they too have grown in age and experience, as we do, so:

• Love your parents.
• Provide them with every comfort.
• Address them in terms of honor.
• Never show anger, nor repel them.
• Shower on them your belongings.
• Show your reputable emotions, they need your kind behavior.

Intense love for the better half

With our better half our world gets completed. Soon after her acceptance, man becomes owner of her strengths and weaknesses. The art of winning her heart rests on the idea of one’s perception about the ownership. Your success lies in understanding that you owe both her positives and negatives.

• Be close to her.
• Strengthen your relationship on the basis of intense love.
• Feed her with what you eat.
• Embrace her as if she is apparel for you.
• Get her best of the dresses.
• Allow her to judge you the way she wants
• Allow her to look at the world.
• Let her mingle with her family and friends.

Be a Friend as well

The transformation from the status of son to father is every man’s dream. A father wishes this transformation to be sustainable at all stages of life, a child should grow-up on healthy patterns, learn, earn degrees and be able to earn and then settled down. The smooth transformation in a child’s life depends on father’s vibrant relationship with him.

• Try to be a father and a friend as well.
• Be close to his heart.
• Cultivate in him essential values.
• Let him share his feelings whenever he wants to.
• Give him timely advice.
• Train your child in a way he should feel your presence in the ups and downs of life.
• Make it clear your likes and dislikes.

Here we provide you with a check list, you can have a self-introspection:

• Do your parents think that you are a darling son?
• Do you have feelings like the home welcomes you every time you enter?
• Is it your wife and children feel comfort when you are at home?
• Do you play with your kids?
• Do you accomplish any of your tasks with your wife’s or children’s help?
• Do you think your children’s behavior remains the same, both in your presence and absence?
• Does your wife think that you are off the home activities are her own?
• Does your wife wait for your home-coming every day?
• Do you accompany wife in her house hold work?

Give a Smile

Just give a diagonally curve movement to your lips, the expression on your face is a smile. It speaks louder than the words. It needs merely a few seconds and little effort to bring a smile on the face, whereas the impact it exerts is overwhelmingly immeasurable. A smiling face is an introduction of a person, it orally communicates a lot before people meet. Material things provided to needy fulfill the requirements for sure, whereas a smile:

• Fills the saddened heart with joy.
• Gloomy eyes with a comfort.
• Communicates a sense of belongingness.
• Infuses a sense of belongingness in the distressed heart.

Keep smiling; it cost nothing but a little effort.

Don’t speak ill in the absence

A good heart always speaks good words. When among friends we do discuss about the one who leaves first. Relevant or irrelevant things do come in discussion.

• Speaking well of a person in his absence reveals his greatness.
• This is the benchmark of judging other’s amount of love and respect.
• If you wish that people must remember you with good words soon after you leave, refrain from speaking ill about anyone in his absence.

Pray in the absence

It’s believed that prayer for a brother or sister in the absence causes that prayer to be answered very quickly. Though this virtuous act is unknown to the person for whom we pray, but a kind of love and respect gets develops, so:

• Get closer to your friend, find out his needs and problems and pray for his well being.
• Be an adherent of such prayers, for ease at hardships, if not for comfort.
• Believe that God will accept the same on your behalf too.

Do something good for someone you care

Instead of unhealthy moves if one resorts to noble act, he is sure to find admiration and honor. This is the very basic influence of virtue that it yields. We know dynamism is always preferred over lethargy. So get ready to do something good for someone you care:

• Fulfill the needs.
• Give good suggestions.
• Sacrifice time and money.
• Offer selfless help.
• Plan for their business development.
• Lend helping hand to solve their personal problems.

Invite for a cup of tea

Our dining table must adorn the companionship of righteous people. It’s an honor that a guest visits our home. Do invite your friends and relatives for a cup of tea and have a casual talk.

Offer Seat

Offering seat to the person nearby is a resemblance of a great character. Wherever you are, in a function, on a journey, in a meeting hall, make it sure that you offer seat to the person standing or in search of a sitting place, or to the one who has just entered. If the person happens to be an old man, a handicap person or a woman the gesture needs a lightning speed.

Visit Home

Visit your friend’s home, sometimes with intimation, sometimes without. Just to meet, not to return the dues, not to seek any help, nor for any formal conversation. Your act will certainly strengthen the bonding and nourishes love for you in the heart of your friend.

Gift

Gift promote love and affection, its size and quantity doesn’t matter, what matter most is a gesture of giving something with selfless intention. Keep finding occasions to offer gifts. Make ‘gift-offering’ a two way channel.

At personal level, answer the following:

• Do you have a heart that doesn’t have ill feelings about others?
• Do you feel ill about those who have conspired?
• Do you think of revenge in case of heavy loss?
• Do you speak ill of a person in his absence?
• Do you have a tongue safer tongue that it doesn’t harm anyone?
• Do you have a feeling that you are close to God when alone?
• Do you find ‘gift culture’ and ‘casual visit trend’ around you?
• What’s your level of interest while reading God’s book, does it remains same, increases or decreases?
• Is it that you never lose hope even in severe hardships?

Shake Hand

Shake hand firmly with your friend. The warmth of the hands illuminates the friendship and communicates a lot with an inexpressible mean. Shake hands, it means:

• You have honored the person.
• Your heart is free from ill thoughts of division of human dignity.
• Communication of a lively message, though we have varied statuses but our hearts are as close as the palms of hands.

Shake your hand well with your friend and hold the hand until that person himself loosens the grip.

Refrain from imposing thoughts on others

Every person has his own likes and dislikes, the relationship remains on healthy grounds as long as we take care of this reality. Else it reveals hollowness, a mind void of intellect and an approach annulled of sensibility.

• No matter what you are, be an authority or subordinate; never try to impose your thoughts on anyone.
• Actually acceptance is the reflection of a convinced heart, if a person is not convinced with your thoughts he would never accept, undue force is dangerous.
• However, when admonishing our children for their good, we can do that by force, but not in general.

Behave well with the neighbor

A neighbour is a live parameter to measure what we are, good or bad? It is an immediate circle after your own self and home that needs to be influenced and benefitted with your vibrant characters. Be kind to your neighbor, lend your helping hand to fulfill the needs and heed to their emotions and concerns.

• Avoid feuds with neighbor.
• Allow your children to play with their children.
• Never put any hindrance for them.
• Offer, if have cook anything special.
• Never allow your exhaust fan or the outlet of an air conditioned to spoil their health.

Avoid Manipulations

• Manipulation of any kind speaks of ill mentality and a dead heart. A person who tries to manipulate things simply refuses to be on just path. When the path is not just, hearts never bind, there remains a gulf. Be kind, work hard, and try to convince others with your intellect, make others partner of your thoughts.

Mingle with all

Unconditional attitude is a prerequisite of finding a respectable place in someone’s heart. One should not be so negative in approach that he tends to behave well only when people behave well with him. This should not be the case of a person who wants to be a master of the art of winning the hearts. He is supposed to behave well with all regardless of their behavior. Do not be selective; embrace one and all with your bold approach and conquering love.

• Connect with the one who maintain distance with you.
• Meet with the people without any pre-occupied thoughts.
• Frequent meeting with people demand you should overlook their faults and have broadmindedness.

At societal level

• Do people have blind trust on you?
• Do people feel that you are good at heart?
• Is it your near and dear ones try to become what you are?
• Do people think that you can solve their personal problems?
• Do people express good views about you in your absence?
• Do you think people believe you are harmless?
• Do you get invitation from individuals to solve their personal problems?
• Do people think that peace is possible with your efforts?
• Does anyone distance himself from you, if something unwanted happens?

Conclusion

As per the replies to the queries one should concentrate on self-development. To be honest, as humans, imperfection is a part of our nature, which demands that we should try to be good and opt for the ways that are excellent and perfect.

(C) 2014 - Muhammad Abdullah Javed (m abdullah javed)