The BBB Awards...Bugged, Bothered and Bewildered
We Bought the Farm
Let the Fun Begin!
Good morning breakfastpoppers. Today is Wednesday, December 11, 2013. Please join me for the first ever BBB Awards, honoring people and events in our nation and beyond who leave us feeling BUGGED, BOTHERED and BEWILDERED.
The host of the presentation is my friend Buzzy, the proverbial fly on the wall. Buzzy has been everywhere and seen everything. Aside from the occasional attempt to smack the hell out of him, he largely flits about the world footloose and fancy free.
Thank you for the nice introduction Bpop. Let me begin the show by presenting our first award to the principal at a school in Colorado who suspended a six year old boy for kissing the hand of a girl he had a crush on. The principal believes that this act of affection rose to the level of sexual harassment. I believe the principal's ill advised handling of this event rose or sunk to the level of grave stupidity. Pardon the pun, but the suspension "flies" in the face of common sense.
Let's move along to the second presentation. The BBB Award goes to the U.S. Department of Agriculture for awarding over $100,000 in farm subsidies between 2008 and 2011 to a charity arm of the Nation of Islam. The money was traced to a group known as the Three Year Economic Savings Program. The headquarters of this charity is listed as the home of Louis Farrakhan. The money was used to purchase farmland in Georgia known as Muhammad Farms. Doesn't it just warm your heart to see how your hard earned money is being misspent?
This next award redefines the meaning of a felony. The San Diego County District Attorney's Office leveled felony vandalism charges against Ocean Beach, California resident Juvencio Adame. He is charged with defacement, damage and destruction of public property. What the gentleman actually did was trim shrubbery next to his home. The overgrown shrubbery, which is supposedly on public land, became a landing place for the homeless in the area who slept in the shrubbery and made a mess of the area. The law may send this citizen to jail for beautifying the area. Come on now San Diego, a felony? Really, a felony?
In case you were wondering how the portion of your tax money that is allocated for the Food Stamp Program is being spent, allow me to put your minds at rest. A guy in Key West, Florida trades his food stamps for beer, vodka and cigarettes. I say the program deserves a BBB.
A BBB is definitely in order for a teacher and a school resource officer who called in the police to arrest a 13 year old student in Albuquerque, N.M. for burping during class! Authorities charged him with "interfering with public education." I think those same charges should be brought against everyone but the student. Had the student's gas escaped through the back door, the authorities might have contacted the EPA which, as we all know, is the equivalent of contacting the KGB!
Let's move right along to Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz(D-FLA) who has yet to sign up for Obamacare. She says she's a little busy at the moment so.......... I hope she has time to pick up her trophy.
Let's award MSNBC's Melissa Harris Perry a BBB for insisting that the term "Obamacare" is the same as using the dreaded "N" word. She believes that President Obama has been labelled with this word by his opponents. Huh? Would you "fly" that by me again? I mean, I just don't get it.
I would like to rap up the show by presenting our friend, Tingly Legs Chris Matthews, with a BBB. In his mind, and only in his mind, Joe Biden will go down in history as one of the greatest Vice President's of all time. He summed up his interview with President Obama in almost biblical fashion when he said, "He came to us. He came amongst us." When I heard him utter those words, I swear, the oceans parted and the world was awash with light and wonder.
Would somebody please "fly" me to the moon?
And let me dance among the stars
Let me know what life is like
With these "winners" stuck on Mars!
Come fly with me...Buzzy